What's your relationship like with your grandparents?
My grandma passed last weeek. I've been thinking about my relationship with her and my other grandparents. My family and I visit them on holidays and they were nice enough. But I don't feel like I knew my grandma or know my other grandparents.
I think my family is weird maybe? Idk it's the only one I know lol. We'd talk about tv and movies we've watched recently. What they watched. Tell the grandparents what was going on in our lives. Ask about what was going in grandma and grandpas life. Mostly get answers like "same old same old", tales of doctor visits, or NCIS.
But like who are they as people? What were dreams when they were young? what adventures have they been on? what sparks joy in their life? What struggles have been through?
Like if I had to describe my grandmother I'd say she was a nice, pleasant lady who was mostly kind and liked cats, but not enough to get her own, just fed the neighbors cat. A description a stranger could give after meeting her talking for a bit maybe.
Looking back at my relationship with my grandparents, it all feels surface level. I never shared any of the hard shit I was dealing with, never really vulnerable around them. They were never vulnerable around me.
I don't know many details of their life beyond career, maybe the places they've lived, pets they've owned.
Maybe that's a reflection on my parents. We were never really vulnerable with each other about stuff, when someone was it was often mocked. My parents were not good parents a lot of the time. Who knows maybe that's a result of their parents?
But umm yeah, Lemmy what's your relationship like with your grandparents? Are you real close? Do you know them well, or more like a coworker you enjoy occasionally small talking with? Or rotten shitbags? I wish I knew my grandma better.
Both my grandfathers died before I was 10. My grandmothers before I was 23.
My one grandmother was always complaining about everything. Didn't speak to her much in the last years. That side of the family is still very tight, with yearly family meetings.
My other grandmother was very different. I didn't know much about her. She led a simple farmer's life and was pretty old fashioned. But she was very modern in other things, like my sister dating a 20 year older guy was perfectly fine. I only learned at the funeral that she used to be a nurse in the war. I do wish I had learned more about her when she was alive. It opened my eyes and now I'm trying to learn more about my parents every time I see them. I don't want to learn secrets about them on their funeral when it's too late to ask them about it.