this post was submitted on 04 Oct 2024
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[–] FlyingSquid 53 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (12 children)

I've never understood the furry hate. People treat it as a kink akin to someone being into taking a shit on your stomach. Except somehow worse.

It's not my thing, but I've known people who are into it and they've all been nice people. I hung out with a bunch of them one of the times I was working at a con and they were fun people to hang around when they were out of their fursuits. And yeah, I didn't quite know how to react to them when they were in the fursuit, but I just stayed friendly. That seemed to be fine with them.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 day ago (1 children)

One of the most consistent themes with furries I have noticed is unapologetic sex positivity.

That burns a lot of folks who insist sex is shameful and something to apologize for.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

There's a loud subculture of furries who insist sex is shameful and something to apologize for.

[–] wreckedcarzz 11 points 21 hours ago (2 children)

Huh... I've been here a smidge under 20 years, and I've never met a fur who shares that sentiment. Awkward and quiet about it, sure, but nobody who is like "bad grrrr gross grrrr". Almost exclusively in my circles it's on the range of "I don't mind at all, be weird with me" to (where I sit) "literally get freaky with me whenever and however, here are my kinks on f-list with all my sona details, also here is my 4K webcam and we can become content creators if you want too" levels of casual/open/positivity.

'we are here for a good time, not a long time'. So, literally, fuck it. Do what/who makes you feel good.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 15 hours ago

I’ve been into furry stuff since before my teens, also 20-25 years ago. Never have I heard of a furry who was also a puritan.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 17 hours ago

its mostly young/minor furs from my understanding.

I don't know if anybody over the age of 16 unironically holds that position.

[–] PugJesus 33 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Furries are odd fellows, but I would never say anything against them ~~for fear of all IT infrastructure spontaneously trying to kill for the rest of my life~~ because it's just odd, not harmful. De gustibus non disputandum est.

[–] FlyingSquid 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Right. They're just into something weird. No big deal, lots of us are into weird things. The weird stuff I'm into doesn't involve spending lots of money or wearing a costume that must be very hot after a short period of time, but if that's what does it for you, cool. I'll be over here watching hours of old public domain movies and industrial films.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 22 hours ago

I remember a story about the US Military taking notes for the cooling solution of a certain fursuit.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Also, being a "furry" is remarkably easy. Are you a fan of anthropomorphic animals? Congrats, you're a furry. It doesn't require you to wear a fursuit or anything else. That means that if you're in the fandom of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Sonic the Hedgehog, etc. You. Are. A. Furry.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago)

That means that if you’re in the fandom of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Sonic the Hedgehog, etc. You. Are. A. Furry.

technically, this isn't exclusively true since most of the time the specific fandom actually supersedes the anthro aspect of it. For example if ur a sonic fandom nerd, you're a sonic fandom nerd, but you may not have a general interest in anthropomorphic characters more broadly, in which case you wouldn't be a furry. These things are not directly related.

The more correct definition here would be "a fan of anthropomorphic characters more broadly, specifically those within the furry community, and the furry community itself more broadly" It's also worth noting that most of the time it's actually done via self admittance. There are fursuit makers who do not consider themselves to be furries. It's odd, but it's how works.

Otherwise we start to define people who drive cars as "car people" and that's just, wrong.

For example a lot of people have pets, dog/cat whatever, they talk to their pets, that's literally anthropomorphizing an animal. Or personification, it's the same shit at the end of the day though. Does that make those people furries? Because they speak to their dog in a language it doesn't understand? Or apply human concepts to their pets that don't really exist?

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 day ago (3 children)

It's a proxy for queerphobia.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

phobia of neurodivergent people as well, I think. A lot of the things people find weird and offputting are just like... autism or something.

[–] [email protected] -2 points 14 hours ago (2 children)

I'm autistic and an LGBT ally and I still find furries off-putting. I try not to judge, but in general I treat them like street proselytizers and the mentally unwell homeless: don't make eye contact and keep out of smelling range.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago)

I'm gonna copy another comment I made on this post since it's the best thing I think I can say about it. But just know I once felt as you do and probably still would if my sister wasn't a furry.

I think the kink and fursuit parts are what most people understand about furries because that's the most signal boosted and bizarre parts about it. However, furries often have other things that really attach them to it, and the kink is a further expression of that.

For a lot of people, neurodivergence is a core feature. I struggle with speech a lot. I'm learning ASL but few people speak it. The flexibility to communicate in howls, barks and yips on occasion is extremely helpful. The furry community is full of people who just get this and will treat me very normally when I'm nonverbal. The scared kid in me still expects to be hit for disobedience, so it's incredibly healing.

Some folks who like fursuits like them because they present a barrier and literal mask that helps them feel safe and protected from bad sensory experiences in public. Some attach themselves into a fursona character and find a way to express parts of themselves they couldn't elsewhere. My sister describes her fursona as a manifestation of her inner child unburdened by abuse, and made the character female years before she worked out she was trans.

When you consider how much kink and trauma go hand in hand, how much furries lean on their identity as a way to feel safe engaging with others, and how much genuine joy people find in their fursona, the kink makes a whole lot more sense. It's less about being attracted to "rejected Disney mascots" specifically as it is about the comfort and safety a rejected Disney mascot persona can bring to people who need it. For as much as it's helpful in the outside world, it would in fact be weirder for none of that to come into the bedroom too.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 13 hours ago

an LGBT ally

That's not how that works; someone can only be described as an ally while performing allyship.

[–] FlyingSquid 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It certainly feels that way sometimes. "I can't say the other F-word, so I'll call you a furry."

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Not quite, I mean more in the way any pejorative they'd use against a furry, that person thinks about queer people.

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (35 children)

I don't think anyone doubts furries are nice people. The issue is the perceived degeneracy. Most people assume, from media mostly, that furries are fulfilling a sexual component of their lives when they become their fursona. This is reinforced by niche furry sexual fetish art and memes online that get signal boosted either by the creator themselves or by trolls trying to generate more furry hate. That juxtaposition of (again, perceived by normies) sexuality with what appears to be child friendly mascot play, makes people super uncomfortable. That, and the off-brand fursuits and people somehow identifying with a blue fox with anime eyes is pretty different and people hate different.

[–] wreckedcarzz 6 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Yeah, I can see that. The weird thing is, why the fuck are others giving a shit about what the fuck I do? It turns the conversation on its head when you ask what they are into.

I'm a fur for the happy cuddly sfw stuff, but I also want to bury my knot in an adorable subby boy too. I went all-in on both halves of the fandom basically as soon as I found out about it, and I've never been apologetic or put up with any shaming. And there's nobody who would pass up the opportunity to double their penis length and girth, grow a thick knot, have badass razor-sharp teeth, jaw muscles to go with it, can hunt and defend themselves without any outside object assisting them, and also have the aura that comes with it, just walk in the room and the mood immediately shifts. At least, no top/dom. I'm sure bottoms/subs are out there that want to feel helpless and vulnerable. But subs aren't the people that are being little bitches about what I do in my bedroom.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago)

furries get a lot of psychological safety out of embracing animalistic traits in all contexts. Speech is extremely difficult for me and being able to "awooo arf x3 wuf bark!" my way through normal day to day conversations with partners is such an inexplicable relief that I hope people with a passing understanding of neurodivergence can empathize.

For as beneficial as these things are in normal day to day life, it would in fact be far weirder if it didn't extend to the bedroom too. Like play-gnawing a partner to say "I love you" and then getting to the bed with them and just saying "ok for this one thing in particular I am a normal human who doesn't howl!!!"

That would be fucking weird right?

[–] FlyingSquid 17 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Yes, and people perceive homosexuality as degeneracy too. It applies to both. Homosexuality is also not about sex. You can never have sex your entire life and be gay.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

Yeah I mean, I agree, but yeah, people just hate others outside of their tribe. Personally, I do find furries a touch strange. Kind of big Theater Kid Energy, but I also subscribe to live and let live.

Not sure about what you mean about not being gay if you have sex your whole life though. Homosexuality, as well as heterosexuality is literally about sex. It's sexual orientation.

[–] angrystego 1 points 1 hour ago

You can have sexual orientation without ever having sex. For example you can be heterosexual and never find a sexual partner - that doesn't make you asexual, you're just a heterosexual virgin.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago)

It's about who you love, not just who you have sex with. Two women who are asexual (don't experience much in the way of sexual pleasure) who have a long term committed romantic relationship may not technically be "homosexual", but they are definitely seen and treated as such. And I think the term "gay" very comfortably applies.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It might be different for others but I've been around furries, have had furry friends, and it still on some deep level that I can't control makes me a bit uncomfortable. Like I do not judge, and I fully support consenting adults doing whatever they want, but if someone in a fur suit sat next to me on a train, I would be a tad bit uneasy. For me, I think it's the sexualizing animals that gets me. I'm not saying furries do anything bad to real animals, just that the way I view animals is something incompatible with any form of sexualization.

That being said, I fully support furries doing whatever they want as long as it isn't forced on me. All the furry friends I've had over the years have been wonderful and creative people, and have never made me feel uncomfortable.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 17 hours ago

For me, I think it’s the sexualizing animals that gets me. I’m not saying furries do anything bad to real animals

if it makes you feel any better, it's not animals directly, it's animal attributes. There is a very very specific dividing line between "furry" and "animal"

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