AskTransgender

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A place to ask transgender people questions and get answers about the trans experience.

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Why do people think that you need bottom surgery to be trans? (self.asktransgender)

submitted 1 month ago by AllukaTheCutie7725 to c/[email protected]

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Like there are some people who think that we're not valid if we don't. Don't people know how expensive and painful it is. Plus some of us just like what we got ya know. I'm proud to be a trans girl who still has the bits. Why is this so hard for people to understand? Also some people seem to think it's much more common than it actually is.

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[–] AllukaTheCutie7725 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I see, that makes a lot of sense. Honestly though the idea of being more comfortable around us because we can't "force ourselves on them" is really dumb. Like ignoring the fact that there's more ways to force oneself onto someone else, most of us who are non-op can't even penetrate if we wanted to, I can still get hard enough to do it but the last time I tried, it hurt really bad and became very irritated and swollen afterwards, but others I've known and dated can't even get hard anymore at all, for them it's physically impossible to penetrate someone else, surgery or not. I feel like many people out there just don't understand this aspect and the fact that penis atrophy is a real thing, and even if you use it regularly the changes still very often make that type of activity impossible or extremely unpleasant.

Also yeah I was assigned male at birth. I don't look it bc I'm lucky to have been able to get blockers and HRT when I was young :)

[–] WoodScientist 3 points 1 month ago

I agree. There are of course a lot more ways that one can SA someone else than simply PIV. But again, we're dealing with a lot of deep cultural memory here. Up until a few decades ago, in most areas only PIV intercourse even counted as rape. Legally in many countries, it isn't even possible for a woman to commit rape against another woman. A lot of historical anti-rape law wasn't even really about sexual assault. It was a more patriarchal thing. When you raped a woman you took the most valuable thing she had - her virginity. It was almost more of a property crime than a violation of personhood and bodily autonomy. We've mostly left these extremely outdated legal traditions behind, but a lot of the cultural memory persists. There are still plenty of people out there who don't even consider cis lesbian sex to BE sex. There's a lot of backwards beliefs out there.

And yeah, asking people with such archaic beliefs about sex to understand the subtleties of anatomy changes on HRT? Well good luck with that! Obviously I know from experience things change a ton, but most cis people don't even know what trans HRT is. Most just assume everything trans people do is from surgeries of various sorts. If you polled random cis people about the effects of trans HRT on genitalia, less than 5 percent would probably be able to accurately answer questions on it. If cis people do have any exposure to trans bits, it's mostly through trans porn. And the actresses that do that all usually have to go off HRT for a period to do those shots. Most cis people are just hopelessly ignorant about all things trans.