this post was submitted on 09 Sep 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 3 months ago (1 children)

st peter at the pearly gates: "yup, looks like you're up 14 carts overall. welcome to heaven."

[–] Buddahriffic 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

All sins and virtues get converted to cart return equivalent.

"14 carts positive, plus those 4 times you helped old ladies cross the street adds 12 more carts, minus 8 carts for the time you tried to help one but ended up punching her instead (it would have been 10 but it's reduced by 2 because Dionysus was watching that one and said even he would have had trouble holding his temper and he's a pretty chill dude). You're up 18 carts overall, congrats!"

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

"update, your next of kin bought 2 model golden shopping carts from the temple and put them by your gravestone, getting you to a nice round 20. here's your all-access pass to the Garden of Delights"