Hey all, I hope this post is okay
I'm currently going through a very high anxiety moment and have been having panic attacks all weekend. I'm still in one.
I've got a doctor appointment scheduled for next week, but I need some encouragement and advice to calm things down right now.
I have avoidant anxiety. When I was a student and I started having panic attacks for the first time. I couldn't force myself out of the house and stopped showing up at work and got myself fired and failed out of my classes. It took me years to recover.
I found a therapist privately back then and did CBT and it helped make things manageable enough that for years things were okay. She's no longer working, and I specifically avoided drugs then but I think that was a mistake.
I've been working for over a decade and have been carefully managing my anxiety with only a couple incidents. I worked in small companies, then did independent contracting, but now I've been in corporate jobs since COVID.
The last couple years I've been really struggling with my anxiety. As soon as everyone started doing mass layoffs and tightening the belt I've been struggling hard. The last few months it's gotten exponentially wise, and it's beyond my ability to manage.
I can't focus anymore, sitting at my desk gives me a panic attack every day, then I fail to meet my deadlines, so I stay up all night pushing myself, which boosts my anxiety.
I feel like I'm on a treadmill running full speed, but I'm tired, I can't breath anymore, I have that feeling if I run anymore my legs will collapse. But I'm on a treadmill, if I fall I get wrangled and crushed, even though I know I can't keep running.
Man I just need someone to say they know how I feel, that I'm not alone, and to help me push the next week until my appointment.
Edit: thank you everyone, you all helped me through that moment and I'm feeling clearer right now. You said some things that were what I needed to hear, with concrete advice, and I can't express how much I appreciate that.
It's going to be a rough week and I have a lot to think about
Ive had a few actual bonefide panic attacks so I know that for me nothing can help in the height of it aside from slow breathing, sitting in the shower, lights off, with earplugs in lol.
Beyond that, the biggest stressor for me is work. I force myself to break my tasks down on a whiteboard every day, into the smallest reasonable parts. It helps me stay ordered as well as helps me keep my progress up. Then at the end of the day I feel proud of all the scratched off lines.
The other big thing, is that when I'm overwhelmed at work, having my list broken down into parts allows me to communicate in a way I normally couldn't. (Hey, I'm stuck exactly here. Can I pass this off to you?)
Lastly, I know it's a meme, but for me when I know the pressure is rising, I try to spend as much time outside as possible, rain or shine, even if I only have a few minutes at a time. I feel it really keeps things in check, and helps me avoid negative habits like doom scrolling, nesting, spiraling.
Hope any of that is what you were looking for, I'm not trying to tell you the only way or something
Thank you, I'll try writing some of my tasks down and see if that helps. I'm going to go 100% on that this week.
I'm generally awful at that.
I think I'm through the panic attack, laying on the floor is my sitting on the shower, so thank you.
I went for a bike ride earlier when I was feeling stressed before, nature and exercise help, I've neglected them lately.
Hell yeah brother, sounds like you are piloting you pretty well, it's just a rough time.
Give yourself credit for that
Thank you
These next two weeks turning things around are my top focus. I'll deal with the rest when I get there