And Finally...

Could be worse.

'Dead Monkeys are to split up again, according to their manager Lefty Goldblatt. They've been in the business now ten years, nine as other groups. Originally the Dead Salmon, they became, for a while, Trout, then Fried Trout, then Poached Trout In A White Wine Sauce, and finally, Herring. Splitting up for nearly a month, they reformed as Red Herring, which became Dead Herring for a while, and then Dead Loss, which reflected the current state of the group. Splitting up again to get their heads together, they reformed a fortnight later as Heads Together, a tight little name which lasted them through a difficult period when their drummer was suspected of suffering from death. It turned out to be only a rumour, and they became Dead Together, then Dead Gear, which led to Dead Donkeys, Lead Donkeys, and the inevitable splitup. After nearly ten days, they reformed again as Sole Meunière, then Dead Sole, Rock Cod, Turbot, Haddock, White Bait, the Plaices, Fish, Bream, Mackerel, Salmon, Poached Salmon, Poached Salmon in a White Wine Sauce, Salmon Meunière, and Helen Shapiro. This last name, their favourite, had to be dropped following an injunction, and they split up again. When they reformed after a record-breaking two days, they ditched the fishy references and became Dead Monkeys, a name which they stuck with for the rest of their careers. Now, a fortnight later, they've finally split up.'