this post was submitted on 20 Aug 2024
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One time I had an ex ask me for some obscure cable that I happened to have. We went over to my cable drawer and as I pulled it out she said "Why do you have this drawer of random cables?"
FOR THIS EXACT PURPOSE BECCA YOU BITCH
Think about the apocalypse BECCA
I was a Scout as a teen. Taught me the value of being prepared and the use of good tools. Basically, I still carry things like a Swiss Army Knife, flashlight, that sort of thing. I also just like to have things in case I need them, like a charge cable or bicycle pump.
You wouldn’t believe how often I’ve had interactions that go like this:
“Does anyone have a knife? I need to cut this”
“Here, use mine”
“Why do you have a knife???? Who are you going to stab???”
Same thing with other tools. People need one, you’re someone who carries it, now you’re somehow weird for being the only person prepared…
I’ve had to guide people out of buildings during blackouts while using my flashlight (this was before phones had them). Number one comment while doing that? “Why do you have a flashlight???”
MOTHERFUCKER, WHY DON’T YOU? On this planet, it gets predictably dark for, you know, almost half the day. So it might just be handy to carry some light with you. Tool use is what sets us humans apart from most animals, so can you at least try and not embarrass your species?
I've gotten this one too. I've had a knife on me almost every day for the last 15 years or so and I've managed not to stab anyone except maybe myself a little bit.
I'm stealing this.
I always have a knife and I get asked a lot to use it. Never had anyone ask me why I have one after, I just get told "thanks"
The Problem is, being unprepared worked out for them because they always had someone around who was prepared. It's the same people who say afterwards: "You see, wasn't that bad, all worked out fine". Yes, it worked out fine because someone else was prepared and saved your ass. The worst of those people then also somehow turn it into their own achievement, which makes them think like that: "Why would someone carry around $thing$, I never do that and yet I still manage to save the day."
Unfortunately, being such a person seems to be a requirement to get hired for middle management.
Step 1: Say "I have it for situations like this."
Step 2: Adamantly refuse to let them use it. If it's something that has to get done tell them to get the fuck out of the way and do it yourself.
It's so annoying. I stopped carrying a knife regularly not because I stopped thinking it was a useful tool to always have but because while the law here does allow carried knives to be defined as tools, if you bring them in to certain places, they automatically get considered weapons and carrying any weapon is illegal (in most circumstances). So if I happen to go to a bar and have my knife in my pocket, it could result in a possession of an illegal weapon charge.
I hate laws that assume intents based on triggers that aren't necessarily associated with those assumed intents, like "carrying a weapon implies intent to hurt/kill someone", "having possession of your keys anywhere near your car while drunk implies intent to drive drunk (even if you're sleeping in the back seat)", or "carrying more than some arbitrary amount of drugs implies intent to sell", like anyone who shops at Costco intends to open up their own store. Lazy fucking laws.
Don’t get me started on how stupid knife laws are in general.
Here in the Netherlands, thankfully there aren’t many restrictions. You can basically carry 95 percent of common knives on you. Locking folders, fixed blades, generally legal unless expressly probhibited.
We can’t own or carry certain types like gravity knives and butterfly knives. Why? “Because… well, fuck you, because we say so.”
If I hop across the border to Germany, knife laws are more restrictive. Can’t have any form of locking knife, so that takes out most folders you’d want to carry. And if I went to other countries, they too have different laws. In France, you can own an OTF for example. And in the US, laws vary from state to state.
Now, what does all that tell us? That knife laws are inherently made up bullshit by politicians and lawmakers who have NO FUCKING CLUE what they’re doing. Because if knife laws made sense, we’d have a fairly consistent set of them. And they tend to ignore that most actual knife crime happens with cheapo kitchen or utility knives. Nobody’s getting stabbed with a 500 euro safe queen.
The knife is one of mankind’s oldest tools. It should be legal to carry everywhere and every form. Knives don’t stab people, people stab people.
Yeah, the way I see it is those easy to deploy knives are most useful if you're being ambushed. If you're planning an ambush or attack, you'll have plenty of time to get your weapon ready. Also, if you're planning an attack, you're probably not concerned with following the laws at all. You know, the whole "if you outlaw x, only outlaws will have x".
I'm curious what the line of thought behind no locking blades at all in Germany is. Also curious if they banned carrying fighting whips/crops in the century since Hitler did that as a hobby (which I'd consider almost purely an offensive weapon since they are more likely to just piss off an attacker if used defensively, unless they are one of those bullies that flees at the first sign of resistance).
With regards to locking knives: most people would say that a locking blade is 'safer' to use and more capable of stabbing someone than say, a Swiss army knife, which would fold on your hand if you tried stabbing with it. But in regards to the actual laws that countries write and enforce, there's usually not even a reason listed for such a prohibition in places that have such bans.
For Germany, section 42A of the Weapons Act applies. That basically states (official english translation):
The original German for 'blade which can be fixed' (feststellbarer Klinge) is what we would refer to as a locking blade. It doesn't even attempt to give a reason as to why.
In the UK, where a knife with a locking mechanism is illegal as well, the Lancashire Police says only this:
So this has a lot of contradictions in it. That first sentence makes no sense: 'a lock knife is not a folding pocket knife', when clearly there are knives, with locks, that fold. 'A lock knife has blades that can be locked and refolded only by pressing a button'. OK, so a button lock is illegal. Which means a liner lock is OK, right? But no. 'A lock knife has a mechanism which locks the blade in position when fully extended'. So now we've abandoned that button, and have moved on to mechanism... And then we get some form of argument as to why this all is banned: 'A lock knife is not an offensive weapon per se, as these knives were made with a specific purpose in mind were not intended as a weapon. However, possession of a lock knife in a public place without good reason is an offence.'
So there's a 'not offensive weapon per se', but also 'posession with no good reason is an offence'
Basically, the only thing you can reasonably have on you is a non-locking small Swiss army knife. Anything that even hints at a lock? That's a crime. Why? Fuck you, because we say so.
Yeah knife crime, like gun crime, isn't an engineering issue. Shit like butterfly knives or spring-loaded switchblades are illegal because that's what the bad guys had in some movie.
Being a stagehand made all of these things mandatory to carry & be proficient with. I can't say I see a downside (other than belt weight. Makes me miss having an ass to hold my pants up)
I always carry a 5.11 backpack. So thankfully I don’t need to carry everything on my belt. The only stuff on my person are my wallet, keys and phone. Keys have a Victorinox Super Tinker on them.
The rest of it is in the backpack. I always carry that thing anyway for shopping, to carry a camera, holds my rain jacket that sort of thing. And it’s a TARDIS / magic box in terms of whatever else might be in there.
Some think it’s weird to carry an actual backpack, but I love it. Literally feel naked without it.
I don't like Becca.
You shouldn't. I also have an ex named Becca.
Once is happenstance.
Twice is coincidence.
Three times is enemy action.
Auric Goldfinger
Am old, gold, quote, Mr. Bond...MWAHAHA
Why the hell not?
https://youtu.be/EnseiOJ2jGQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mnGGcQO-UyA
I've heard that name before somewhere.
Sounds like a bitch.
For this exact purpose. To impress your ex? Sounds fair enough.