this post was submitted on 11 Aug 2024
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Constantly. And then when I'm not good at something (even if I might enjoy it), I dread doing it again
I don't know if it might be due to ADHD (or something related) since I'm still waiting to get tested but I feel the same.
The moment I notice I'm not good/best among my peers at something I don't want to touch it even again.
On the other hand this might be just me acting like a five year old I don't known. I just related hard.
I feel you. What helped me was learning about growth mindset and fixed mindset. It doesn't magically cure it, but it does help to know why you feel that way and how untrue that reason is.
I didn't read the whole book of course, but there's tons of exec summaries and short talks on it that can help to understand it.
It's the lack of flow.
When I'm good at something, I can switch my brain off (even for mental tasks like programming; it's weird how ADHD works) and happily do it for hours.
When I'm working on something I'm not good at or am new to, I need to stop every few minutes to think or research and that gives my ADHD brain an opportunity to attack.
When I'm medicated, I can maintain that flow state with nearly any task - just with zero control over which task gets priority.
Yeah, I really should look into getting medication. Even if it does work, I still wanna try it. But there's always a reason not to make efforts for it