this post was submitted on 02 Aug 2024
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Autism

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Neurotypical here, had a realization about my 'type' of romantic interest. (self.autism)
submitted 3 months ago by Machinist to c/autism
18 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

Cishet male. In no way do I mean offense or have I tried to take advantage of lower functioning individuals, that's just sick. Best I can figure, I'm a typical. Maybe I'm a little crazy; but who isn't.

During a discussion about my son's neurodivergency, I realized I have a 'type' of woman. (Son is technically stepson, but he's my boy.) I tend to be attracted to high functioning women that are on the spectrum.

I've been in four relationships with divergent women, three serious and two extended friends with benefits. I've been in two serious relationships with typical women. Many flings with typical women. Figure that's pretty statistically unlikely.

In my experience, divergent women tend to have a refreshing openness in communication. Painfully honest. Direct. They have some weird stuff that can be alternately cute and irritating. When sleeping they either don't like to snuggle or like being an octopus. (My preference is octopus but my wife only tolerates some side contact.) They like to discuss instead of argue. Sexually adventurous and willing to work for satisfaction. They prefer precision in statements. I find myself writing in an extended way that I don't engage in with other people and try and pay attention to grammar and punctuation. Pretty sure this doesn't apply to all women on the spectrum, just my 'type'.

I dunno, just a strange realization, especially at this stage of life. It's not a fetish, just something that has occurred.

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[–] Machinist 9 points 3 months ago

Lawd no. My kind of girl is functional and keeps her crazy in check.

For instance, my wife handles the money. She's better with those kinds of numbers and it makes her feel secure. She likes doing the taxes: which is the good kind of crazy. Does a better job than me on that. I stay out of it. Ask her before large purchases are made.

She expects me to lead on broad strategic decisions after discussion, she fills in details, I execute details. I do most of the physical things, deal with the people stuff and phone calls. She likes the paperwork. It's a pretty pleasant division of labor.

She has learned to hyper focus on her knitting, we have a lifetime supply of dish rags and some truly giant blankets. There's a Blanket based on some sort of Amish pattern that I'm going to have to figure out how to display. She also loves her trash TV. Watches the worst reality TV crap, 90 day fiance, Hoarders, angry cooking shows. She knits and watches TV while doing her remote job. Makes amazing money and uses those things to keep her quota to a reasonable excellent level instead of blowing the curve for her coworkers. I built her a pirate server that pulls any show she wants and automatically plays it for her.

If I buy something for her, I try and get it in pink or with a pig on it. She has an enormous pig figurine collection. I'm taking back her 'pig shelf' as it is a glass and wood cabinet from my family that I want to put in my study.

Inside the house the kitchen is her main room. I try not to cook even though I enjoy it. She rules that room and fixiates on producing amazing food. She's plotting something about clear acrylic shelves to hold her piggies. I'll execute once she has a plan and provides me with pictures or links of what she wants.

In many ways, we have some sort of idealized '50s lifestyle. Idealized, not actual. One of these days I'm going to catch her vacuuming in pearls and heels. She's bi and free to explore relationships with other women, for instance.

She's highly functional and doesn't do mania. I also know how to pet her the right way. It's an easy relationship.