There's not much more I can do. I spend as much time with them as they will let me. My 12 year old is super independent, but we do have some great conversations later after everyone else is in bed. She and I built a table from scratch together - to the extent she would let me help. I actually love spending time with her when she'll tolerate me. If things go badly for her, it will not be due to abuse or lack of love.

I don't have that same relationship with my 14 year old because I can't, but I sure would if I could.

I'm not trying to absolve your parents for what you went through. I'm genuinely sorry for how things went for you. I can see with my own eyes how hard it is to be that kid and I feel terrible that you had to go through it. All I can say is people have other experiences.