this post was submitted on 11 Jul 2023
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I've realized that I'm very mentally weak and it's impacting my success.
I suspect I have ADHD and whenever I get an urge to distract myself, I rarely manage to resist it.
I think what I am missing is the residtance to discomfort that eg. allows sports people to carry on going even when their muscles are telling them to stop. Or the thing that allows people to defy themselves and step into an ice-cold shower.

Unfortunately I am not a person who enjoys sports and a cold shower is only something that makes sense once a day. Can you think of any exercises that I can do here and now in my room, and practice routinely that will strengthen my willpower so that I can better resist my urges in the future?

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[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Two comments.

  • I would try and avoid negative self talk (weak) as it can really just reenforce guilt/shame. The classic example I learned in therapy was should statements. When you think/say I should have... It can bring alot of negativity but it's usually easy to change it to a could or would statement. I would have or could have xyz. Would/could can be a slippery slope to excuse/procrastinate things but it's okay to legitimately give your self a break when the circumstances warrant it. Brains need downtime, you don't have to be filling 100% of your day
  • doing prep work isn't cheapening your willpower as long as your consistent and apply it to everything and not just the easy things. Another trick I learned is to try and break a task down into the smallest step you can do to make progress. Step one could literally be get a pad of paper, or change into work out clothes. It makes taking the next step easier and also is kinda like "Well I already have the pen and paper I might as well get writing" or "I'm changed so I might as well do something" even if it's just a walk or jog. But again the key is consistentcy.
[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Oh thats a good point, turning a 'should have' into a 'could have' actually sounds really empowering because it must remove some of the guilt. And the taking the smallest step strategy sounds really helpful too โ€“ it reminds me of the concept of 'non-zero days' I read about a while back that I really have found effective