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Newborns fucking suck (self.vent)

submitted 4 months ago by sneekee_snek_17 to c/vent

43 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I've got a 3 week-old newborn. During the day there are plenty of adorable moments and easy times. But it's the middle of the fucking night, he strategically waited until I was switching diapers to piss on me and all over, then was flailing his arms and pushing the bottle out of his mouth even though he was very hungry, then shit his GODDAMN BRAINS OUT while eating, then after I burped him and cleaned him up and got him in new clothes and swaddled and put him down, he fucking screamed until I picked him up again.

Like, I've given him everything his tiny little brain and body could need. That coupled with the strategic shitting and pissing to require the absolute maximum amount of work from me.

The vent here, I guess, is that I fucking hate this. I loved my life with my wife and now we have next to zero intimacy(not sex, obviously, but even our normal physical touch). We have zero time for each other, one is tending the baby, while the other is desperately trying to keep up with cleaning bottles and keeping the house passably clean and there is no time for anything.

I would never let any of what I just said affect how I interact with the baby, but I'm fucking sick of having literally zero independence and I miss my wife (her being in the same bed and next to me most of the day makes it worse somehow).

Fuck.

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk. Check out The Oatmeal, they've got a comic about having kids that's painfully applicable.

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[–] dohpaz42 19 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

It will get better. I promise you that. The beginning is always the roughest. It’s an adjustment. Things will never be the same, but you can (and will) make it just as good, if not better.

Hang in there. You and your wife got this. How you feel right now is not how you’ll always feel, ok? Sometimes it takes a little while to “kick in”. And when it does, whoa baby, you’re in for the greatest ride of your life.

I have to reiterate: you’ve got this. You are doing fine. This is normal.

Also: when changing baby, put new diaper over them while you dispose of old diaper. Then when they pee, it hits the diaper and not you.

You’ve got this!

Edit: I almost forgot: congratulations! 😁

[–] sneekee_snek_17 7 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I typically leave a wet wipe over him while switching diapers, but he waited until the exact moment I took it off to close up the fresh diaper to let loose

[–] dohpaz42 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Sounds silly, and it very well may be, but maybe it’s the temp change and fish of air from the wet wipe being removed that triggered him to pee.

Wet wipes are of course wet, and will cool down when left out in open air. Try a dry diaper or towel, and see if that changes things. It might not, but if it does then you’ve got a solution.

[–] sneekee_snek_17 1 points 4 months ago (2 children)

I've been trying to think of a way to store the wet wipes that keeps them at a more comfortable temperature, but haven't got around to really figuring it out

[–] Railing5132 2 points 4 months ago

There are wipe warmers that are pretty cheap, with varying quality. My spouse has them all over the house.

As others have said, he's not being intentional about anything even though it sure feels like it. I swear my little one waits to hear the rustling of the sheets of me getting into bed after putting her in the crib to go all "car alarm" on us.

Your frustration and sleep deprivation is real. Communicate with your partner. Make sure you're both helping each other as much as possible and giving grace to each other. If you ever sense you're close to acting on your feelings and frustration, put the kid in a safe space or with a safe person and take 5. Take 10. Do what it takes to get that under control and remember that this little being is not malicious.

You will make it through this.

[–] Nantucketed 1 points 4 months ago

We had a wipe warmer, you just empty a pack of wipes into it and it will keep the wipes at a nice temperature for when you do wipe the little one. We got ours on Amazon, https://a.co/d/01yiSeYB just as an example.

As others have said, you got this and this is normal, you'll be fine my friend! It's a huge learning curve but one that's worth it.