this post was submitted on 26 Jun 2024
736 points (94.9% liked)

Greentext

4470 readers
1909 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 86 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Tbh i dont understand this. Probably because im european plus im tired but i cant figure it out.

[–] Potatos_are_not_friends 172 points 5 months ago (6 children)

Dad shows a gun to show OP he's a badass. Op doesn't realize and shows his gun.

Common American culture is that you're supposed to show your gun on the third date with the family, not the first. You're also supposed to have a Mexican standoff when you walk into the house, with dad aiming at you, you're aiming at dad, dog aims at GF, etc. And if he's lucky, they have a rousing game of Russian roulette before tapas.

Totally understandable if you didn't know. Just basic 2A knowledge every American learns about during elementary school.

[–] [email protected] 75 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Thanks for explaining the culture, they never show real America in the movies

[–] cosmicrookie 13 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Yeah. Real America sounds tougher than Sons of Anarchy

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

Leave it to Hollywood to sanitize real American living and make it so kid friendly!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

It's important to remember if you're ever in Los Angeles, New York, or Miami, all three of the major American cities.

[–] [email protected] 46 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I guess this is where the concept of the "nuclear family" comes from then? After the initial courtship hostilities, the escalation of the arms race is inevitable.

[–] captainlezbian 10 points 5 months ago

Yes, by the time you have a steady relationship you’re at a place of Mutually Assured Dating

[–] SkyezOpen 33 points 5 months ago

dad aiming at you, you're aiming at dad, dog aims at GF, etc.

The Aristocrats!

[–] [email protected] 18 points 5 months ago (1 children)

You start learning it in day care depending on the region

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago (3 children)

So are those armoured backpacks for children considered cheating?

[–] A7thStone 17 points 5 months ago

Some people can afford better load outs. Normal p2w bullshit.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago

Yeah, it does Give them a slightly unfair advantage over the active shooter, that's why the cops had to wait, they were required to give them a head start.

A surprising amount of rules involved in it.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Cheapskate parents, actually. Most parents get their kids a BALCS carrier with level III soft inserts, some ESAPI plates, and a level III or IIIa helmet. But some parents cheap out and just get their kid a backpack and split a set of plates between kids.

[–] zzx 6 points 5 months ago

They taught me in kindergarten

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

The first sentence is real, the rest is just a fun bit of hyperbole. It really is not that common for an overprotective father to brandish a gun at his daughter's new boyfriend, but it has happened enough times to become something of a trope.

[–] Hasherm0n 55 points 5 months ago (2 children)

To give you a slightly more serious answer, there's a trope in America of the girl friend's dad doing something to "subtly intimidate" the boy friend by casually cleaning a gun or having one within sight the first time they meet. The implication of course is supposed to be something along the lines of "I've got this and if you try anything funny with my daughter, I'll use it on you"

It's dumb but I've also known more than a few people who have experienced this first hand.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 5 months ago

It gives say-no-to-me-or-any-other-male-in-my-fam-and-we’ll-dump-acid-on-you vibes

[–] Olhonestjim 7 points 5 months ago

Yeah, I went to senior prom with my friend. I didn't have a license or a car yet, so my aunt drove us there in her baseball team van, and she was gonna drive us both home too. Suuuper romantic. Her dad met us there, pulled me aside to show me his little pocket knife and threatened to castrate me. I just laughed at him. We were both virgins, so far as I knew. While in hindsight she had a crush on me, I was way too awkward, nerdy, religious, and oblivious to realize. Sex never even crossed my mind as a possibility.

[–] Olhonestjim 36 points 5 months ago

It's a thing that basic dickhead fathers look forward to doing; threatening their daughter's boyfriend in case he ever thinks he and his girlfriend might ever want to have sex.