this post was submitted on 19 Jun 2024
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Food Crimes - Offenses against nutrition

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Welcome to Food Crimes! This community is here to collect all and any post about cursed food and generally unusual consumables.

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  1. Posts must include an image or video containing food or drink.
  2. It must be unusual or cursed in some way. a. For example, something like Doritos Milk would be unusual, but normal milk would not.
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[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

No way man. In rare occasions, like when eating a Jimmy John's sub, real Hellman's mayo is the only answer. Sometimes in BBQ dressings / sauces you also can't substitute. For basically everything else, ESPECIALLY sandwiches, there is no beating the tangy zip of miracle whip, to quote their old commercials.

As an Indiana boy, it's the only mayo I had until I was a man, and I have no regrets.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

Nothing wrong with that :)

Tbh, growing up it was either Duke's or miracle whip, depending on whose house I was at between grandparents or home. I kinda preferred MW on almost all sandwiches until my mid twenties. Started getting more into cooking on a craft level, which meant exploring flavor combinations. Turns out that, for my tastes (because I hate food snobbery and recognize that all food taste is subjective), there isn't a single "best" ingredient for most things.

When it comes to the mayo/salad dressing realm, the three big names, Duke's, Hellman's and miracle whip, all have their own distinct flavor and texture. I found that I prefer one over another for most things, and a combination of two or three for some. Like, the traditional potato salad on my mom's side of the family, it's Duke's or nothing. You start with MW, and it gets muddied with the mustard. Hellman's is too fluffy and eggy for that specific use, though I find Hellman's and Duke's mostly interchangeable with salads.

But my deviled egg s alad; Hellman's and MW are the default in a 1 to 2 ratio. Then the sweet relish, paprika, and a hint of cayenne to make it come together. Duke's makes it too thick, and MW by itself too sweet.

But I will never say nay to anyone making things the way they like them :). And I agree totally that there's no real substitute for miracle whip when that's what's called for. Can't even do a homemade version that's better (and, being honest, not as good in my best attempt).

It's kinda like mustards and ketchups. Each brand has its own recipe that can significantly change how it works in the mouth. One brand of yellow mustard just isn't the exact same as any other brand, and there's limited difference even possible. Hell, that's like many of the liquors of the world; one distillery is going to be a huge difference from another once you get beyond the basic taste of a given spirit. Even from batch to batch, you'll get changes.