this post was submitted on 12 Jun 2024
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[–] AdamEatsAss 7 points 5 months ago (2 children)

The buddy system is flawed and fascist. If your buddy walks off a cliff do you go with them? By the rules of the buddy system you do. If your buddy commits genocide do you go along with it? The buddy system says yes. And what about a double homicide? If both buddies die in the woods and no other buddies are there to witness it was there a crime?

[–] FlyingSquid 19 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Wait, you're saying I didn't have to commit that genocide?

[–] AdamEatsAss 11 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

NO! If you or someone you know suffered irreparable harm thanks to the so called "buddy system" call AdamEatsAss today. A class action lawsuit is being filed against the deep buddy state cabal and we need more victims to step forward. If your buddy forced you to smuggle illegal goods inside your body, call us. If your buddy forced you to overthrow a democratically elected government in the developing world, call us. If your buddy forced you to act on a plan to steal the moon using a shrink ray, call us. We will not stop fighting until the buddy system is no more.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago (1 children)

This sure goes deep! Thank you for spreading the word.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

An example for us all

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, but it was a lot of fun, remember when we made them reenact the entirety of the Abyss in Klingon?

[–] FlyingSquid 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Sorry, all I remember is the rivers of blood. And do you know how much blood it takes to fill a river? I was squeezing it out of corpses for days.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Why didn't you use the blood drainer 5000? We had like 10 of them!

[–] FlyingSquid 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

What do you think I am, made of genocide money?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

Wait you're not made of genocide money?

Ohhh, shit, hmmm, I got a few things I gotta send back then.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

Kids these days! Back in my day we stacked the corpses high enough to have gravity squeeze the juices out!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

That escalated quickly ^^