I apologize for how negative that sounds! It's been 3 months. I unfortunately can't be as consistent as I'd like because of chronic utis. I currently go about 8-10 km/h for 20 mins at a time, 2-3 times a week when I'm healthy. I keep at it because I've noticed a boost in my general energy and mood, but I hate pretty much every second of actually running. I read that that's normal as you start out, especially if you start from zero like I did. But I've also read you eventually start to tolerate and then later enjoy it. How long did it take for you to get to that point?
Edit: 5 month update on case someone stumbles across this. My progress is slow, due to frequent breaks due to my frequent colds and UTIs. I'm at 30min 5k. Running still sucks, in part, but it also feels...powerful? I've learned to pace myself and run slower, so I'm not all spent after 10 mins. It's difficult, but I think running too fast really was the biggest problem. Now what I feel during a run is a mix of 'ughgh I hate cardio' and 'this is amazing, I'm powerful, I can do anything I want'. That's enough to keep motivated. The reason I keep it up is that the former feeling ends soon after the end of the run, but the latter one persists. I try to run twice a week. If I have the time, I go on a hike instead (I live in the mountains). I enjoy those a lot more, but they take up several hours as opposed to 30mins for a run. It's helped me tremendously with my depression, so it's so worth it.
Tldr: I still don't enjoy every second of running, but pacing myself made it more enjoyable than before. And it's SO worth the mood boost and extra energy (even on rest days). I have depression and I've never felt this good in my entire 10 years of being an adult.
What do you hate specifically -- e.g. exercising in general, getting hot and sweaty, foot/leg/joint pain, your location or route, having to be alone with your thoughts for a while, etc? I've been running for nearly 3 decades now (yikes), and even as a kid I remember the thing that made it "click" with me is the realization that I literally could not be doing anything else at the same time (aside from listening to music, I guess).
I think that unless you are having physical pain (in which case the usual applies - check your shoes, modify your gait, reduce or restructure your runs to be more comfortable), you have to get into the headspace of just mentally doing nothing, which can be hard for some people.
FWIW I don't know anyone who, in the middle of a 10k run in 90 degree heat with a side stitch says "I feel awesome right now!", but I do know many, many people who will finish out that run, stop for a moment and then go "ahhhhhhh."
I echo this bit about not loving it in the middle of it. This is true for lots of endurance activities. The battle of will is very real.
Thanks for helping me try to pinpoint the issue!
I think it's exercising in general. I don't have any pain during runs. I don't love being hot and sweaty but it's tolerable if I can shower right after. And I do love walking, even without music, so it's not the thoughts thing either. I just really hate how it feels to have an elevated heart rate and to be out of breath, even a little. It's like this with any form of cardio I've ever tried, like cycling and swimming. I'll enjoy the activity itself but hate how it makes my body feel while it's happening. I wish I could explain it better than that.
I've been where you are, for me it changed when I was able to do easy runs (HR in the 135-145 range) at a "reasonable pace", I.e. still have a feeling that you're moving at a significantly higher speed than walking.
Out of all the advice this seems like the easiest to immediately follow for me personally. So I think I'll start to try and learn to pace myself better vs push myself on accident. Thank you!