this post was submitted on 03 Jun 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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[–] feedum_sneedson 46 points 6 months ago (5 children)
[–] TheTetrapod 62 points 6 months ago

Yeah, I feel like anyone giving OOP the benefit of the doubt is overlooking that part.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I'm equally as concerned about "too much birth control"

How the fuck does that work?

[–] trashgirlfriend 4 points 6 months ago

These guys think birth control is some sort of magic evil mind control pill.

[–] ameancow 16 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Once in a while on the relationship/sex forums you see women making posts like "My boyfriend lost his mind that I masturbate and said having any kind of pleasure or happiness at all is akin to cheating and is currently beating me while I make this post, reddit is this normal?" or "My boyfriend is jealous of my tampons and demands that I never touch my vagina with anything and has locked my pelvis in a 16th century iron chastity cage, reddit how can get him to marry me?"

This is the kind of guy who thinks vaginas can be reshaped by putting things in them, but also doesn't seem to think by the same logic that his dick should have become a long, thin noodle by now.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Probably implying a large labia minora.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I'm which case, that has nothing to do with masturbation

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

He could mean a big 'ol hole, which, tbh I'm not a scientist and it could be that jamming the biggest bad dragon you can find up there may affect it in a similar way a similarly sized baby would, BUT also the absolute classic movie Mean Girls leads me to believe that some people just naturally have "a heavy flow and a wide-set vagina."

[–] PoliticalAgitator 0 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Oh look you're dumb as fuck when it comes to women's bodies too.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 6 months ago

No u lololololol

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Due to clandestine dildo usage, as opposed to overt dildo usage?

[–] ameancow 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Everyone knows if you hide it, it becomes highly unstable.

[–] trashgirlfriend 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

If you suddenly observe it while using it the wave function collapses and you don't wanna see how that ends.

[–] ameancow 2 points 6 months ago

The dildo being a wave-function basically exists as a sphere of all possible angles and orientations, what's more, the closer you look at it, the more likely it will teleport into your neighbor's kitchen.

[–] PoliticalAgitator 3 points 6 months ago

Isn't it cool how many red flags he managed to sneak into that one sentence?

The fact that he used the word "clandestine" makes it sound like he convinced himself she must have a secret dildo she was using to destroy her genitals, because a 13 year old boy told him that's how vaginas work and he never grew out of it.

It's really easy to imagine him being the problem. He decides she has a secret horse dildo hidden away somewhere, accuses her of it repeatedly and when she tells him to fuck off, decides she is "cluster b" for having reasonable reactions.

4chan will not help this person.