this post was submitted on 02 Jun 2024
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If so, does that mean people actually remember a persons name & face after only one encounter?!

If not, why do we pretend they will be upset, and try to hide the fact that we forget an unfamiliar name?

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[–] CaptPretentious 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I can give a tangent I suppose. I, like many have a first and last name. I prefer... Military style (no idea what to call it, if it has a proper name). I've gone by this for 25+ years. I'll introduce myself as such to people I know, work with, etc. and there's usually questions... Which I can understand, generally it's people not believing that that's my name. Either it sounds too absurd to be a name or it is too absurd to be a first minute, we're honestly I totally get. A quick show of their driver's license usually sorts it out. And most people will refer to me as my last name. Only occasion someone will use my first name and it doesn't really bother me, usually. (And just be clear I don't use it like how a teacher would I use it like as if it was a first name that makes sense...).

When it does bother me is when it becomes obvious that the person is going out of their way to make sure they use only my first name. Because it is a clear sign of disrespect. And in almost every single case it's clear that the person thinks they're the first person to think of this and they think they're clever and that I don't notice. The most blatant was as individual started to say my last name, immediately stopped after the first few letters, and switched to my first name... It cannot have been more obvious that was intentional.

[–] CoggyMcFee 1 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

If it’s a clear sign of disrespect, can you say why the person wanted to disrespect you?

[–] CaptPretentious 1 points 3 weeks ago

There's not be a single reason. In a few jobs when I was younger, it was usually the manager nobody liked, the one that let you know they weren't there to make friends... they were usually the likely ones. A girlfriends parents (again when I was younger) was split. Her Dad for a good while refused, but eventually came around. He clearly didn't like me (I think it was just an over-protective father sort of thing). More recent was someone who just had a superiority complex at work. I can only speculate as to what was wrong with this person or their motive, but they were the one that stopped "mid-name" to switch.