this post was submitted on 09 Jul 2023
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No Stupid Questions

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In the last year or so I started to see so many people of my age that have done truly incredible things and still doing more.
For the vast majority of my life my only goals were gettimg academic satisfaction and doing unproductive stuff in the free time to get temporary pleasure. No end goal whatsoever.
I kind of don't know what I've been doing in the last 17 years while someone gets a patent on solar systems, other invents a new recyclable plastic, and another found a successful startup. I mean, they all find what they're supposed to be doing with their lives and excel in them.
I feel overwhelmed for trying to pace up with these kind of people. Yet I don't like the way the things are and I can't do anything but envy those people.
Anyone with experience in this regard? How did you deal with this? Did you eventually "pace up" with these people or was it too late or an unattainable goal?
Edit: Whoops, I didn't expect so many replies! Thanks, I'll look into them all

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[โ€“] Ibaudia 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Most people feel like this, in my experience. People usually don't feel totally satisfied with their accomplishments, but will assume everyone else is very satisfied with theirs. In reality, most people feel neutral about their situation 99% of the time, no matter how good it is. Past a certain point, when you've accommodated all your lower-level needs like food and safety, the only way to get legitimately happier is to count your blessings and be thankful for what you have, instead of chasing something you perceive as "better". Those things almost never actually make you happier, especially if they're materialistic.

Most people also show to others a fake version of themselves that has basically no problems in life. It's important to remember that what you see isn't usually what you get with most people. There are some who present themselves as being extremely happy but are severely depressed. It's important not to compare your genuine self to people's front-facing personas.

[โ€“] required 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I'm aware of this effect. And I can say I'm pretty better positioned than many people I know irl. But I can still find people to envy to.
I'm also really materialistic in my world view recently. I think I'd want prestige and money and validation over anything else. Not sure how correct this thinking is but I don't think I really have anything else to look up to^___^