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You might feel like that now but almost certainly not forever. Growth and progress happen so slowly, making it very difficult to perceive. Comparing yourself to others and their achievements makes it even harder to see and in some cases may even undo growth/progress.
The only fair comparison to make is present you to past you. Sometimes that won’t give you much but sometimes it will and those are good moments.
My hope for you is that you learn to trust yourself and cultivate pride so that one day you realize you’ve been more satisfied with life and can’t be sure when things changed.
I hope you're right. I don't think I'm doing enough to get into the state where I'm satisfied for the moment.
Of course I'm doing a lot in general (and definitely outlast my past by far) but everyone does, especially at my age. It feels more like the rate of growth that is important here.
And I want to "undo" mistakes. I want to work harder and do something so I can "catch up", perhaps not even a real person but the person I'd be if I spent my time productively. That's why comparing with myself doesn't feel satisfying