Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/trevor7298 on 2023-06-24 23:52:03+00:00.

After coming home from a long day of running errands with my wife and 8 month old son I find there’s no parking spots available in the private parking lot for the complex I live in. We have parking passes and they are to be displayed in the windshield of your vehicle at all times and guest are supposed to park on the street or parking lot by the store next to us. This wouldn’t be such a big deal of walking an extra 150-200 yards if it wasn’t pouring and have to carry in my son and his stuff and we all get soaked so I called the tow truck company for the complex and let them know all 13 of the vehicles without passes are parked illegally and gave license plates and make and model and they’re sending the whole fleet out for it. One lady without a pass noticed me giving them her cars info and asked me what I was doing so I informed her of what was going on (she was also parked in a handicap space without a sticker or plate for handicap people) and she called me an asshole and that I was just using my white privilege to put everyone else down. So AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Beneficial_Cause1935 on 2023-06-24 23:28:28+00:00.

To give some background, every year one of my(26m) friends named Jared hosts a gathering up at his cottage. Normally the gathering is done on a rotation where each weekend he will invite 2-4 people up at a time. This year he decided to do something different and invite everyone up to the cottage at the same time. To accommodate the twelve of us who would be going for the three days the plan was to have everyone camp outside. During the planning of this two people stated that they didn't have any form of camping gear. To help them out I told them that I have a tent and two cots that they can use for the entirety of the weekend. The two of them had no issues with this up until the day of the actual gathering came around.

Last weekend like always rather than driving I flew my Cessna 185 seaplane to the cottage as it's on a nice lake. When it came time to pitch all the tents with the help of Jared we pulled my plane onto the grassy part of his backyard. When that was done I pulled out and pitched my special plane camping tent. The tent I have is one where you drape it over your plane's wing before hooking it into the ground. When that is done you have an enclosed tent with everything but a floor. When the two people I was helping named Ashley and Jen saw the tent and cots they had no issues with the arrangement. That was until Ashley asked where I was going to sleep to which I said I would be in the back of the plane. The moment I said this Ashley started asking to be the one to sleep in it as she didn't want to sleep in a tent without a floor.

When I told her no she got really upset and started going off on me about how I am an asshole for "misleading' her. Looking back on things I am on the fence as to whether or not I am the asshole. While I stayed true to my word, I never told them the specifics of my gear which makes me think I might be the asshole here.

Am I the asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/spinningarrowxo on 2023-06-24 22:24:09+00:00.

Me and my sister live in different cities. Last weekend she came to stay over with her partner. They don’t have a bath in their flat so they were excited to use the bath, however I didn’t expect them to then go and have a bath together. That is not something I would personally feel comfortable doing around a guest’s house, and I found it weird and to be honest a bit rude. But I have no idea if that’s the general consensus or a normal thing to do? Am I the asshole if I tell her that I found it a bit rude and to not do it in future?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Quietshrew82 on 2023-06-24 20:15:23+00:00.

My 13 year old daughter Grace, recently took part in a singing and dancing contest for teenagers at a festival in England. She did amazing and got amazing feedback from the judges, saying she was fantastic, fully caught their attention, "wicked,outstanding and wonderful" and star quality.

However, when she was being introduced to perform, something annoyed me. The announcer introduced contestants like this - "This schoolgirl from Norfolk will perform", "this A level student from Cheshire will sing", "this part time waitress from Manchester", "this LOTR enthusiast from London", "this footballer from Leeds" etc, etc. This is also a way to get to know and get an understanding of the performers, since people were given the chance to vote for their favourites with 3 ribbons up for grabs.

This is how my daughter was introduced as "this headmaster's daughter from Northern Ireland ''. This annoyed me. How is her Dad's job relevant? How does that communicate anything about her to the audience? and also the festival took place in a very working class area. When people think of school headmaster's they think it's an elite job due to the position of authority and think of those big fancy schools like Eton and Oxford. My husband's school is just a normal school, nothing elite about it but I could understand how it could seem that way to the audience. My daughter didn't win any of the ribbons and I was annoyed. I confronted the announcer a little while after about it and he said he wanted to give the contestants a unique introduction to avoid repetition. I asked couldn't he have mentioned her hobbies that were mentioned in the application form, her job as a part time cleaner, her experience or even just call her Northern Irish. He was very dismissive of my complaint.

On the way home, I was still annoyed about it. My husband noticed this and asked what was wrong. I stated my complaint and he said I was making a big deal out of nothing. It turned into a huge argument with him asking "Do I only care about her winning rather than performing and having fun?". I replied I want her to do her best and that introduction more than likely cost her. It continued back and forth until we basically didn’t speak until we got home. I feel he doesn’t understand why I’m annoyed, I want Grace to do the best she can and I feel like that introduction cost her in some way.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Ok-General-9442 on 2023-06-24 17:31:36+00:00.

My (15M) sister (17F) is always trying to look good in front of my parents. She mentions every single thing that she does at school and shows them her grades and even makes them breakfast sometimes just to make herself look better than me.

Thankfully my parents don’t really treat her better because of it and make sure to treat us equally. She’s definitely upset by this because she’s always claiming she’s mistreated. One time she noticed I was unto her so she told me she feels like she has inferiority complex or something. I told her sure and ignored it because again it was a dumb excuse.

Anyway, we didn’t have food all day and no one bought groceries so we couldn’t make anything at home. My sister told my mom get her some cheese so she can make herself mac n cheese and in case we got something to get that instead.

While we were out it was too late for mom to cook something when we would get back home so I told her we should just buy food and get groceries for another day cause I was craving a burger and some fries. She agreed with me and I told her we shouldn’t get any for my sister cause she wanted to make something else anyway.

My mom told me that maybe my sister would be hurt if we don’t get her anything because she usually does that but I told her she should have asked if that was the case and we had already ordered by then anyway so it was not worth the effort. When we got back home it was around 8pm and my sister saw me holding a box of fries so she was saying how she’s relieved we got food cause she’s hungry and too tired. But when she saw we didn’t have any for her she started crying and went to her room.

Mom feels really guilty and she said she will make her favorite food as an apology. My sister also told my mom she felt like I tried to act like I was better than her by doing this so she was mainly upset at me. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/apartfromtheworld on 2023-06-24 20:52:03+00:00.

I’m 16 male and a hooper I play basketball and like fashion. I get called gay for rolling up my basketball shorts because they were long as hell or I get called gay for my hygiene I take care of my skin, hair, and body because I love myself and I love how I feel when I’m clean. For my last non school game we had to wear suits to the gym and back I had a nice navy-blue suit and some stud earrings, again I love being fresh I can't help it.

My family came, and her boyfriend said I looked like one of the kids a church guy likes. I ignored it because he has nothing going for himself. again. He kept talking about how I looked “sassy” because I kept fixing my watch or whenever I got up I brush my pants. Boom I get into the locker room change come out, and my shorts are big as shit so I start rolling them up and getting ready. I saw my dad and her boyfriend laughing at me. I'm not even the sensitive type, but it did low key hurt my feelings to see my dad making fun of me but whatever. Games over I got all changed we went out for dinner, as we walk back to the car, he asked me do I like fucking men I turned around and I told him he’s so worried about the next man. Is he sure he’s not the gay one.

And that he’s always worried about me and how I carry myself as a man. He should take lessons from me on being clean, and he always smells like he just took a shit. My sister tried to calm it down, but I told her she lowered her standards for somebody who fucking stinks and can’t keep a job. I might be the asshole for saying it in front of my ten-year-old nephew, but I’ve held all that shit in for years. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/tsweddingaita on 2023-06-24 17:39:37+00:00.

My sister and her now husband had their wedding in the Lake District in the UK. It's so beautiful here, they had a lovely outdoor wedding, it was very intimate and only included family and friends because they wanted to go all out and make a mini-holiday of it. We all arrived Wednesday morning and are due to leave on Sunday so people can go to work.

If you know the Lake District, there are lots of beautiful walks and scenic views. My family are quite seasoned runners and hikers so my parents and I did a 12K trail run/hike of Loughrigg on Thursday. It wasn't my idea, more so my parents, but I run longer distances on the road so thought how hard could it be? I also don't see my parents often and thought it would be nice to do something with them while they aren't pre-occupied with work. It was rocky in some parts and you have to be careful on your feet. I was not careful enough and had a bad fall and hurt my ankle.

The only shoes I brought with me were my road trainers, trail trainers (I hike in these anyway), my wedding heels (3 inch) and Crocs since I wear them to travel in. Because I was feeling some pain on the day of the wedding (Friday), I brought them with me incase I needed them and I did end up needing them so I wore them during the wedding. For official photos, I wore the heels but then would change into my crocs when nothing too important was going on.

My sister saw me in my crocs while I was at down and asked me why I wasn't in my heels. I explained that I had a bad fall when I was running and this was more comfortable and I didn't want to aggravate my ankle. She wasn't very happy and said I shouldn't have gone if it was too risky for me. I asked her what the point of having the wedding in the Lakes was if she didn't want any of us to take advantage of the trails. She said that wasn't the point and it was rude to show up in Crocs. I said that I really should have gone to the hospital but I didn't want to detract from her wedding so she should be grateful I'm here even in my Crocs. My sister and I aren't particularly close.

My sister has been messaging families about my Crocs and now I'm getting grief for wearing them at a formal event and my aunts have been making snide remarks about how they knew I wasn't going to follow the dress code. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/AstronautOk6476 on 2023-06-24 17:10:40+00:00.

My sister (30F) and her wife (33F) invited us to their beach house for the weekend. People there included my parents, my family (wife and son), my sister, SIL and their daughter (3F).

My sister and SIL went out to the beach together, and it was clear they didn't really want company and wanted some alone time as they usually do. My son had seen my SIL's car and desperately wanted to sit behind the wheels and take a picture to show off to her friends.

Since they were gone, I just took a few pictures of my son behind the wheel, and that was it. I put the keys back. When they were back, I showed thrm the pictures and said my son was really happy with the pictures.

This for whatever reason pissed my SIL off. She has two more cars like this but is extremely mad at me for taking her keys and taking pictures in the car without telling her first. I apologised but they won't let it go. As always, my sister is siding with her and giving me a hard time. Parents are on my side.

Edit: The keys were in a bowl on the table right at the entrance. I didn't touch her bag

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Old_Scientist4252 on 2023-06-24 20:05:27+00:00.

My wife thinks I'm an asshole, my buddies are on my side since it was a mistake. I don't know what to do.

My wife Jane loves coffee. She used to work as a barista before getting a corporate job but she carried it forward and regularly makes us coffees with fancy patterns. She has a really fancy espresso machine with a grinder and they're her pride and joy. We often joke that it's the third wheel in our marriage given how much she's interested in the drink.

I thought for an early birthday present, it would be nice to get her a new one. I saw this seller who can refit espresso machines and customise them so I thought it would be nice to get one that has olive and sage green accents. I'm quite proud of myself for thinking of it and it would look a lot nicer in our kitchen. Hers right now is stainless steel and reflective which stands out like an eyesore. So I got in touch with the seller and he agreed and he also helped me refit 2 portafilter handles with olive wood. One of them has her initials carved into it and the other says "Happy Birthday Darling" with a heart. I was going to give her this today and then show her the machine. I also got her a new grinder and had that match the espresso machine. Thoughtful right?

Well there was an issue with delivery so her new machine got delayed. My buddy came by late last night to pick up her machine and grinder which I let him have because of the new one, and then in the morning she would have come down to see the new machine. Now there is no machine. She flipped out asking me what i'd done with it because it was pretty obvious it was missing so I said I'd given it away to my friend because he needed it.

I didn't want to ruin the surprise. She asked me why I didn't think to tell her and I didn’t know what to answer so I just said that his broke and he needed one. We went back and forth for a bit and then she said she was going to go to a cafe and left. She came back and then I forfeited what my plan was and she was thankful but still annoyed I'd given her machine away without at least asking her because it has sentimental value to her (her brother bought her the machine as a gift for landing her corporate job).

My view is that it would have ruined the surprise if I'd told her and the shipping only showed it was delayed this morning. I did message my buddy to see if we could get it back for now until the new one comes but he said his parents are using it and I don't want to inconvenience them over a misunderstanding.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/throwaway3736638 on 2023-06-24 18:59:12+00:00.

So I(49F) have a daughter (14F) who is currently a freshman in school. I will first preface by saying she has always been popular due to her being very pretty, athletic and social. Unfortunately, this popularity has led to her and her friends being extremely cruel to others girls in the past.

One of her most defining features is her incredibly long hair. It is wavy, a beautiful light gold and goes down to about her waist. She is obsessed with her looks and has been caught skipping class before to style her hair in the bathroom with her friends.

Last night, she was on the phone with some of her friends and they were talking about a girl (14F) in their school who has gotten pregnant. She was taken advantage of by a family friend from what I had heard and was being forced to keep the baby due to the abortion laws in our state.

My daughter was laughing about this. I was horrified by what I heard her say. She said that the girl was so ugly and had such short hair no man would risk jail time for her. She also poked fun at the cultural hairstyles the girl wears- she is African American, among other racial comments. I also heard comments about her weight. For context my daughter is a slender white girl. I was outraged. I immediately got her off the phone and told her I was incredibly disappointed and tomorrow she was getting a much needed haircut. She laughed at me and walked off, thinking I was joking.

Well, this morning I followed through with my promise. I sat her down at the table and cut her hair to about chest length. I am a hairdresser and it is still nowhere near her shoulders so it is a fine haircut. She screamed and cried afterwards telling me I was abusing her and her life was over. I told her she will get her hair back but that poor girl will never be able to take back what happened to her.

AITA?

UPDATE:

Hello everyone. First of all, I’d like to thank you all for the ranges of advice I have received on this post. I will have a talk with her soon to explain the course of action. I admit I have raised her like this and should have put my foot down but have not in fear of an arguement- I try not to argue with my children for my own personal reasons. I turned a blind eye to this as I didn’t want to believe my own child could be so heartless and thought she would grow out of it. The reason I reacted so harshly and irrationally was I had a very close friend since kindergarten who was a victim of the same crime and took her life because of this. I have also contacted the school and the parents of the others on the call. I have decided to enroll her in therapy which she will start soon. She will also be volunteering at the local women’s shelter 3 days a week and on Saturday as well instead of her usual figure skating. There has been tension in the family since the passing of her elder sister- the reason I don’t argue with my kids. I may get her an appointment for some extensions as her hair has been really bothering her. However, it is her birthday coming up soon and am wondering what to do for that. If anyone has any advice on what to do I would very much appreciate it. I will also be limiting contact with these friends.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/snictordrum on 2023-06-24 17:20:29+00:00.

We decided we wanted the gender of our baby to be a surprise to us and didn’t discuss any baby names. It was a girl so my wife instantly said, “can we name her “X”, after my great grandma? Her great grandma passed away a few years ago and was special to her because she raised her until age 10 or so. She obviously put some thought into this because she asked as soon as we were told it’s a girl. I actually never knew that was her great grandma’s first name because my wife always referred to her as “grandma”.

Well, that also happened to be the name of a girl I dated over a decade ago. My wife was super excited and obviously all emotional after giving birth so I didn’t say anything and agreed. This ex didn’t mean anything to me, we dated sophomore year in high school and I honestly forgot about her until the name came up. I didn’t think that was the right time to bring it up.

I completely forgot about the ex name part soon after because, well, new baby. Now it’s 4 years later and some of my buddies are over and one of the idiots says, “hey, didn’t you date an “X” in high school?” I said yes and the conversation moved on. After they left, my wife got pissed that I let her name our daughter after my ex. I said no, we named her after your great grandma, I had completely forgotten about my ex. She’s upset and I think she’s overreacting a bit and will cool down and understand. But while she’s avoiding me, am I the asshole here?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Character-Living1275 on 2023-06-24 17:35:27+00:00.

My oldest daughter (Ginger) just graduated from high school and is going to college. She’s excited so on her celebration party invitation it had simple instructions gift only what you think you’d need as an incoming freshman. She got amazing gifts that she loved. One of the last gifts came from my sister who’s a pot stirrer. It was a dual DNA test and it had a note saying “pass this test and find out the truth” years ago my wife cheated on me with her coworker. (This happened after my daughter’s birth) All I know is the man was ginger and my daughter is ginger. However, there are cousins on both sides of the family that is ginger so yes it could happen. We never told our kids about the infidelity and I never had suspicions about my daughter. She was always a brilliant child and I loved her for it.

I was hurt. I grabbed the gift and threw it at my sister and tried to kick her out but my sister was insisting on the truth of the matter to put my family at rest. My sister defended her actions by saying why would I want to invest in Ginger's future if she wasn’t even my daughter. She said she doesn’t want to buy my daughter gifts if it’s not her niece. I noticed over the years Ginger didn’t get the same types of gifts from my side of the family and I always just thought it was because Ginger was nerdy and they didn’t know what to get her.

My sister eventually left leaving awkward questions and tears from the rest of my family. My mother defended my sister's actions saying we all just want to know the truth and Ginger is 18 now so as an adult, she should know the situation. I’m sick of these speculations about her birth but I’m not forcing her to take a DNA test to appease my shitty sister and my enabling mom.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/EmbarassedChristian on 2023-06-24 15:19:48+00:00.

Some context: since January, my wife (25f) has played almost nothing but Taylor Swift, daily, on repeat. Averaging about an hour her music a day.

She’s a huge fan; shed many tears when we decided she couldn’t pay $1000 to see the concert.

I am not a swiftie. Not really even a fan at all. I think Taylor needs new subject material. Good songwriter but repetitive and boring to me.

Whether we’re in the car, having a game night with neighbors, sitting by the pool, playing cards, or cooking, my wife is playing and singing Swift over a Bluetooth speaker.

It started off cute. Then got annoying. Then made me feel like I’m hanging out with a 14 year old from 2011. I am permanently banned from saying anything negative about Swift. Saying I don’t like her is “taking away from her achievement as the first female artist to have such a successful tour”

We are currently in a hotel with 4 family members, about to go on vacation. 9:00am and my wife starts playing to brush her teeth. Nobody else was particularly bothered because they don’t have any context, but I think they were clearly wondering why she was playing it so loud.

I asked if we could “take a vacation from Swift this week as well.” My wife threw a bit of a fit saying I embarrassed her or implied that she is immature. Her parents are telling me I’m being rude. Asked my wife to step outside to chat, told her I wasn’t trying to hurt her feelings. It didn’t go well and now I’ve “ruined the vacation.”

I understand making her feel awkward, and her family not being bothered, but am I an asshole for being tired of her singing the 10 minute version of All Too Well?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Relevant_Injury3052 on 2023-06-24 16:25:18+00:00.

I'm currently being given the cold shoulder by both my youngest daughter and wife over this so I thought I'd get an outside opinion. Both of my two daughters graduated from simimlarly costing universites, I had a school fund set up for both of them but it didn't cover everything. They both after graduating had about 60k in student loan debt. They also both were lucky to find jobs in their fields a few months after graduating with similar salaries about 55k a year.

However, they took vastly different approaches to their debt, my eldest for the last three years has lived extremely frugally and outside of basic needs and bills all her extra money goes into paying her debt off. My youngest on the other hand asked if she could live at home until she gets her loans paid off, but she still only pays the minimum required to send every month and spends the rest of her money on herself.

Now the issue started a few days ago, my eldest called me all excited because her loan debt was down to $500 and she would be able to finally pay it off when she next gets paid. We spoke for a bit more and after the call ended I decided to surprise her by sending her 1k, to pay off the rest of her debt and so she could finally have some money to do something for her for once. When I was talking to my wife and youngest daughter over dinner about how impressed I was that she paid it off so fast, my youngest started yelling about how I've never given her money towards her loans. I explained that while I'm not directly paying them Im still helping her by letting her live at home rent free and she could be closer to paying it off if she spent less on things she doesn't need. After screaming and crying to me a bit more she stormed off and is staying at her boyfriends currently. My wife thinks that I should promise to give her some money each month to help her pay the loan off faster so we can keep the peace at home but I don't think I should reward her for nothing.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Jolly-Case93 on 2023-06-24 17:42:23+00:00.

My girlfriend (Sarah - 28F) and I (25F) moved in together about a year ago. We invited my side of the family over for dinner.

My nephew (8M) is a walking tornado. As I suspected, despite me already telling my brother that our place is now packed with fragile objects and decorative items, and that he should keep an eye on his son, my nephew broke a glass statue.

Sarah and I are honestly tired of my nephew's carelessness around objects in and outside our home. So for the first time, we asked to be paid for the damage done.

My brother is furious and thinks I am being a major AH and I should consider his finances because we're family. He said he couldn't afford it. I said I was fine with installments and he still thinks I am an AH. Aita?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/ThrowawayBeRight on 2023-06-24 16:02:39+00:00.

My sister and I recently hosted a lunch party for a little cousin get together. We are all between 26 - 30, unmarried with no children. Three cousins told us they would have their partners with them, so that brought the total to 8 people.

We told everyone the food would be Asian themed and to let us know of any food restrictions. Nobody has any food allergies but one cousin, Zach, told us that his girlfriend Maria (27) is a vegetarian.

My sister and I made 8 dishes and put them in plates and bowls for everyone to serve themselves. For Maria, we made spinach curry and miso-glazed eggplants. There was also steamed rice to go with the food. The other dishes had some kind of meat in them.

Everyone had a great time and Maria thanked us for the food though I noticed she ate very little. She had two large helpings of the store bought ice cream we served as dessert though. Zach was not as talkative as usual but I didn’t think much of it.

Zach later called us that while we had so many meat dishes, he felt we did not accommodate Maria enough by providing only two vegetarian options. That was why she had so much ice cream because she was so hungry from not being able to eat our food. I told him if Maria was such a picky eater he could have told us what exactly she likes to eat, so we could cook exactly what pleased her, maybe a little too obvious I was being sarcastic. Zach told us our food was too exotic and we should at least provide some fries which was what everyone could eat.

I don’t believe my sister and I were AH at all. My sister, however, thought maybe Zach was right and we should have taken into account that some people don’t do well with exotic dishes. Were we AHs?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Legal_Strawberry_764 on 2023-06-24 15:53:02+00:00.

My sister recently completed training her service dog to help with her heart problems.

My mother-in-law is severely allergic to dogs, having trouble breathing and several bad reactions.

I got married 2 weeks ago and I wanted to have both of them at my wedding, but I had this allergy problem.

I talked to my sister and explained to her that I would love to have her at the wedding, but I would have to make some adjustments to the ceremony and party because of my MIL's allergies, because I know she must bring her dog.

I made a commitment: My sister wouldn't sit in the first row (row of parents and sibilings) but a little further away and her table at the party would be further away too (there was a table for her parents and one for sibiling, she would be at the sibilings), but as my MIL wouldn't stay long at the party and after an hour she would leave (right after the mother-son dance)... After that it would be ll, I would like her to feel at ease. But with my MIL, she would have this limitation on distance until she's gone, because just as she is my sister, my MIL is my husband's mother.

She didn't look very happy, but said she understood my conflict and accepted.

My wedding day was wonderful, my sister was at the religious ceremony, but I heard that she didn't stay at the party, even though my MIL stayed for 1 hour.

After I got back from my honeymoon, I called her up to talk and she said I made her feel left out and bad by having to take her service dog, preferring to make her totally uncomfortable for my MIL's sake

I don't think it was that, because it was a health issue and I tried to compromise, but I don't know, my family is a bit divided.

AITA?

Making it clear that I didn't ask my MIL to leave early, she and my FIL are not party people and don't like to stay too long on these occasions.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/throwawayyyoooo393 on 2023-06-24 13:49:49+00:00.

For some context, I'm 23f. My brother (14m) used to be friends with a boy (14m), who started hanging out with the wrong crowd, developing a bad attitude, getting suspended from school. Luckily, my brother and he are no longer friends and haven't spoken to each other for a while, which is good because neither me nor mom really liked him.

I was walking home after buying some clothes and he came out of nowhere and ran towards me and said "Hey, Aunt Nessa" (my name is not nessa) and then he clutched onto my arm and walked with me. He said he would he would hold my bag for me. I was holding a bag with jeans and three tops, I don't know what he wanted to take from it but I wasn't going to risk him running away with anything. I was also very uncomfortable with him holding me and I was just scared in general, I didn't know if he was on drugs or something, so I told him to go away and I shook my arm to get him off.

He let go of my arm but he didn't leave, he walked behind me so I told him to stop following me, but he didn't stop. I said again assertively stop following me but he kept following me until I got my phone out. I said I would call the cops if he doesn't leave, then he called me selfish and self-centered (i'm summarizing), then he left.

I took the long way home because I didn't know if he was doing a gang initiation or trying to follow me home. I googled the phrase 'Aunt Nessa' and nothing comes up so I don't know what I did that was self-centered or selfish unless he was just trying to threaten or offend me. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Timely-Town-324 on 2023-06-24 15:28:08+00:00.

My wife used to model for a variety of photographer and artists. She stopped around 5 years ago, but some of the art she’s appeared in is still found in a couple of galleries and portfolios

One particular set of photos were artistic nudes she did for a good friend of ours. The photos are still posted online in the photographer’s website, although they are not easy to find. They are artistic, not pornographic in any way.

Well, my mother somehow discovered these photos (I’m not sure how) and was appalled. She contacted me and said we need to have them taken down, they aren’t appropriate, do I really want people seeing my wife like that, etc.

I let her know that she’s completely off base here, and if she really wants to pursue this she can speak to my wife. She was miffed and said that she already tried that, and she even said that she told my wife that my dad had seen them (clearly to try to make her feel bad about it). She said my wife just shrugged and said “what did he think of them?”

While I love my wife’s reaction, my mom is now not speaking to us.

AITA for not being more sensitive to my mom’s concerns?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Maleficent_Glove_420 on 2023-06-24 16:13:07+00:00.

I (am or was) going to be the best man at my brother’s wedding next year. My wife was invited to be a bridesmaid and she Initially said yes.

It turns out that the bride is now expecting my wife to get a whole new wardrobe for the bridal showers, bachelorette party, rehearsal, and reception dinner on top of her bridesmaid's dress. The only color she’s allowed to wear to all of these events is the same lavender color as her bridesmaid dress. She was even given a few swatches of that material to take shopping with her. The shoes and makeup have to match for photos. Even pajamas have to match.

The bachelorette party is a week getaway plus all of the other events it’s like an additional 10 days of clothes that my wife will never wear again. She normally wears black or dark color clothes.

I bring this up to my brother after he brings hands me the swatches of fabric. I told him this is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. He said that’s why they giving me almost a year to get all of the items together for the bachelorette and weddings. I’m thinking of my wife’s reaction because she’s already not great friends with the bride. I told my brother that my wife can attend the wedding as a guest and not a bridesmaid. My bother gets mad saying I’m upsetting his fiancée’s aesthetic that she’s had planned. He’s just asking for a few days of accommodation and I said no. He tells me I’m no longer his best man for this and I’m selfish for destroying his fiancée’s dream wedding over a few dresses.

Edit: I don’t know why Reddit would think I didn’t discuss this with my wife. I told her afterward and she laughed saying “Hard pass” Maybe when your grow up get into a functional healthy relationship you’ll understand that you can predict your partner’s moods and boundaries.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/anonymousAITAH on 2023-06-24 15:27:02+00:00.

Post here: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/13wo6bs/aita_for_calling_my_fianc%C3%A9e_selfish_for_wanting/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1

Sorry for the long wait as I have been going through some things (me and my fiancée breaking up, work, death of my grandfather, etc)

So I didn’t expect to get a bunch of replies to my post. But a lot of them were helpful, my ex was determined to go to the wedding, despite my protests and even planned out how she was going to be refusing alcohol when offered. I did tell my ex’s parents about what she was planning on doing. I didn’t want to tell the groom or bride because I wouldn’t know how to put it in words that would make the whole situation any less awful. Ex’s parents did end up telling the bride's parents and then they told the bride.

The bride was so upset that she, unfortunately, called off the wedding. Everyone wanted her to continue it and invite my ex for a couple of plans guests thought of (ex: when my ex announced it everyone would just stay nonchalant and not give her the excited reaction she was hoping for, and the classic just don't invite her plan.

The bride was just understandably wanted to be left alone and she just texted my fiancee a very long paragraph telling her what a horrible person she was. She just decided not to do the wedding anymore, and her fiancé was very heartbroken, but all in all, they were both grateful to me. My ex instantly knew that I was ‘the cause’ of all of this and she was furious at me, even more, because I posted about it here, but also said a pretty sick thing about how she still pretty much ‘won’ anyways. I just decided to break up with her myself after that.

Some of her family members are kinda upset with me, as they believed I just caused a bunch of drama. Now I'm currently in the works of talking to an attorney as my ex told me I will not be seeing the baby after they're born. So all that on top of grief, working, breakup, being called a ‘mess starter’ by some of her family, and still feeling like shit because either way the bride and groom were heartbroken. It's just putting a bunch of anxiety and stress on me lol. Anyways here is the long-awaited update. Any questions, I’ll answer.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Throwaway_Any-Bread on 2023-06-24 14:44:52+00:00.

My dad recently passed, he has two kids myself (F29) and my brother (M28) but no other family.

My dad and I have always been very close. I call him most evenings for a chat and I try to see him once a week for a coffee despite it being a 1h drive to his house. Point is, I make an effort because I choose to as he is my dad and I love him.

On the other hand, my brother makes no effort despite living and working in the same town as him and being less than 10 minutes away. He also never calls dad nor makes any effort to spend time with him. Before he passed he called dad to go out for a drink with him and then stood him up. It broke my heart.

To the issue... My dad has basically left everything to me in his will. The house, car, all worldly possessions. He did tell me this a few years ago and I had always been hoping the relationship between him and my brother improved so he was then on the will, but it did not.

My brother was expecting 50% of everything but upon seeing the will he is angry and very upset. He asked if I was going to give him anything and I said I'd have a think but I really don't want to? My brother and I have never been particularly close and I don't want this to become an issue on the rare occasions we are at the same family function. My mom and rest of her side of the family think I should split it but I feel like splitting it despite my dad actively not having him in the will kind of rewards or allows his behaviour of essentially only speaking to people when it suits him.

Am I the asshole for not wanting to split the inheritance?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Upper-Entertainer234 on 2023-06-24 13:47:11+00:00.

I (24f) have a good friend since high school (21f) and she recently became a tattoo artist under the tattoo shop she’s been apprenticing under for a little less than a year. When she was still an apprentice she had asked to use my body as a practice canvas when she was told to do some real skin. I was really hesitant at first as she still had some shaky line work but she was my friend and I wanted to help out. The first 2 tattoos she asked to do she refused money for, but I still gave her $100 for one and $150 for the other even though honestly I really wasn’t a fan, I just wanted to give her security. Her work meant something to me.

For a while after that she didn’t ask to tattoo me until she suddenly NEEDED to tattoo this tiger bleeding flowers on me. I told her sure but I knew she had been tattooing for a couple months at that point so I asked her what she would like to charge. She told me $590. I was kind of taken aback when she said that price but this was a very pretty piece, it was just weird for her to charge that much when SHE wanted to tattoo ME so much. But alas, I let it go, and the tattoo turned out okay, not my fav, but still overall beautiful.

Well finally she texted me yesterday and sent me this dragon and asked would she be able to tattoo this on me so she can add it to her portfolio. I told her yes, asked how big it was though as it would have to be in a weird spot on me and even though this design wasn’t wide, it was long and would probably take the top of my thigh to the bottom of my knee. Then she told me “I’m available at on xx if that will work for you, we can get it fitted then. This piece I’m thinking of pricing at $6,450 since it will probably take me two 8 hour sessions to complete if that works with you.” IT DOES NOT!! $6k and you’re reaching out to ME, your FRIEND absolutely not. I blew up on her, I called her out on her huge up-charge in prices, how I have really bad color fade in some parts of my previous tattoos already that she charged me $500+ on. She did not take my words well… to say the least she told me this WAS with a discount and even though we were friends she needed to pay for her art and time. It just made me go at it even more, reminding her she’s not some experienced tattoo artist who has been in the industry for years and is highly sought after, and just because her paper art looks killer doesn’t mean it translates the same on skin. She asked me if this means I don’t want the design even if we talk about prices, and I told her no this means I’m never getting tattooed by you again.

All of our mutual friends are texting me saying it’s one thing to tell her no I don’t want the tattoo and it’s another to harass her about how she priced her art. The tattoo shops Facebook/Instagram have even gone as far as posting a “friends and family don’t complain when you any paid fairly” part to their page. I won’t lie, it stings a bit and now I wanna know AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/aita_account2167 on 2023-06-24 14:18:42+00:00.

Throwaway, I'll keep it quick.

(Also you might've seen this earlier today, I tried posting but it got taken down quickly because of formatting issues, so I'm posting again)

My cousin, who I'll call Ella, got married a couple of months ago. I made her wedding cake as well as almost 150 individually wrapped custom cupcakes. I have a 5 year old daughter, in return Ella was going to babysit every Friday from 9-2, so 5 hours. This started from after she came back from her honeymoon until August. Obviously if there was an emergency or something came up, I'd understand.

So on Wednesday she called me up saying she couldn't make it on Friday, because her old college friends were in town and she hadn't seen them for a long time. I said this is really last minute and asked if they can just go out another day or after she babysits, but Ella said no.

We argued for a bit and I eventually said she was being really selfish, making plans when she already had others. She got upset/mad at me and said I can't dictate what she does with her time, and it's only one day. We haven't talked since then. People who know of the situation are torn on it.

So, AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/NothingStaysSame on 2023-06-24 13:00:52+00:00.

My son (18) starts college in the fall. He wanted to go to Yellowstone, and he wanted myself and his mother to be there. This will be a five day trip, and we are leaving next week. All plans have been made and finalized.

Yesterday my father in law came over and said he needed to talk to me man to man. He said this trip is hugely disrespectful to his daughter, and I need to pull my head out of my ass. This was confusing to me, because my wife has been kept in the loop throughout the planning process. If she had an objection, why wouldn't she have brought it up?

My father in law said it's hugely inappropriate to go on this trip with my ex wife, and I need to figure something else out. He said leaving my kids with my wife with her while I go on vacation with my ex is the height of disrespect, and he won't see his daughter be so mistreated. At this point I was annoyed and told him to mind his business. He told me to remember this conversation and never ask him for anything in the future.

Am I the asshole?