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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Maleficent_Glove_420 on 2023-06-24 16:13:07+00:00.
I (am or was) going to be the best man at my brother’s wedding next year. My wife was invited to be a bridesmaid and she Initially said yes.
It turns out that the bride is now expecting my wife to get a whole new wardrobe for the bridal showers, bachelorette party, rehearsal, and reception dinner on top of her bridesmaid's dress. The only color she’s allowed to wear to all of these events is the same lavender color as her bridesmaid dress. She was even given a few swatches of that material to take shopping with her. The shoes and makeup have to match for photos. Even pajamas have to match.
The bachelorette party is a week getaway plus all of the other events it’s like an additional 10 days of clothes that my wife will never wear again. She normally wears black or dark color clothes.
I bring this up to my brother after he brings hands me the swatches of fabric. I told him this is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. He said that’s why they giving me almost a year to get all of the items together for the bachelorette and weddings. I’m thinking of my wife’s reaction because she’s already not great friends with the bride. I told my brother that my wife can attend the wedding as a guest and not a bridesmaid. My bother gets mad saying I’m upsetting his fiancée’s aesthetic that she’s had planned. He’s just asking for a few days of accommodation and I said no. He tells me I’m no longer his best man for this and I’m selfish for destroying his fiancée’s dream wedding over a few dresses.
Edit: I don’t know why Reddit would think I didn’t discuss this with my wife. I told her afterward and she laughed saying “Hard pass” Maybe when your grow up get into a functional healthy relationship you’ll understand that you can predict your partner’s moods and boundaries.