Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/VioletThunderX on 2023-06-26 05:27:48+00:00.

I am 28F and my roommate is 27M, let’s call him X. Second year living together and X is a part of my extended friend group and hence a reason for moving in with him - he came somewhat vetted and it was better than living with strangers.

The issue at hand - I recently got back from a trip to Las Vegas where I went to this big candy store that sells candy by the pound. You basically pick what you like from bins into a bag and they weight it at the register and you pay. I do have a sweet tooth however, so as to not get carried away I picked out some specific things I would like and paid for them. It was around $20. The day I got back , X asked me if I had gone to the store with the Dr Pepper flavored jelly beans (he knows about the store). I said I had but I didn’t get the Dr Pepper ones, but I did get other flavors. I offered him my bag and said “hey try some of them, they’re good”. He takes a handful and says they’re great, I set the bag down on the kitchen counter and walk away. X continues to get increasingly high with his friend.

5 hours later I want to try some of the things I got, so I went to the kitchen but the bag wasn’t there. I look around and it’s on the coffee table with X passed out on the couch which is kinda weird bc I didn’t leave it there. I go to grab my bag and I see it’s 90% empty. I also happen to startle X awake and he’s like “what are you doing?” . I ask him if he ate all the candy and we go back and forth for five minutes as he acts like he doesn’t know what I mean. Finally I point to my bag, point to him and shake it. He then says “I have money I can replace it.” I ask if he’s going to Vegas soon and he says no but he has money. I say “this is not cool at all man” and walk away.

To be honest if he had just apologized I wouldn’t be that mad but everytime weed is involved he does something to upset someone and never owns up to it. Not even a “my bad”. Sometimes he rsvps to events and doesn’t show up bc he got too high. Sometimes he will lock my cat in the linen closet for hours because my cat ran in there while my roomie was looking for something and he forgets to bring the cat out even thought he saw it run in. Sometimes he leaves the front door partly open late at night.And on top of it his attitude today when I asked was not to my liking at all. So I am thinking of asking him to stop using my gaming console and other things I keep in the living room because he can’t respect other peoples belongings.

Why I think I may be the AH- a total ban on using my devices might be an overkill especially since it’s over something small like candy. It seems really dumb to care this much over $20, maybe I need to find a different hill to die on.

Thank you for reading!

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Fantastic_Ad_9075 on 2023-06-26 00:51:23+00:00.

I am a 19 year old male Security Guard having to deal with weird behavior with my supervisor. This all started about 9 months ago at my new job about a month or 2 after I started. My supervisor (42M) started bringing in his personal drone to show it off to the guys to see their reaction. I have always thought they were cool cause I was always been into technology since I was a kid. He continued to bring in new drones that he would get to show them off. Then one day on my shift I see something flying in the air, assumed it was possibly a plane cause I work not far from a airport but I was mistaken. My boss comes in talks about different behaviors that I was doing and then told me how he was using his drone to monitor my behavior. Internally I was freaking the F out! But played it cool and told him hey this isn't cool with me that's overstepping his position. He gave a bullsh*t excuse of he's allowed to monitor me and that he had permission, so I let it go. Then a few weeks later again caught his drone monitoring me and gave him the talk about how I'm not ok with this and its creepy and I would call the cops and he told me I have no evidence and they will do nothing. Few weeks after that it happened again, and layed it down the next time he did it I'm calling the cops or were gonna have an issue so he stopped. now about month ago he decided to bring it in again, I was infuriated but kept my mouth shut cause I was still processing his stupidity. So when I got home called HR gave them a report and talked to his higher-ups as well as the police and they said that the technically can't do anything cause he possibly has permission and that basically because of his position it's a blurred line. The cops told me to call my site that I work at higher ups to see if he had permission, HE DID NOT!!! He had permission from the place he sat and thought that was ok, like WTF. So a few days later everyone thought it was creepy that I've discussed this with and told this is going to immediately be taken care of, or so I thought. I had a few days off and tried relaxing about it then I decided to call the day before I went in and got put on the phone with the bad manager and basically got told he wasn't doing anything illegal and that it won't happen again and basically he got a slap on the wrist. This guy has a kid and a wife, what if his wife supervisor started doing that to her or teachers started using them to monitor the kids? AITA for wanting to get a restraining order?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Sharp-Alarm-9612 on 2023-06-26 05:58:02+00:00.

I20m have been with my gf20 for almost 5 months. On 4th of July I’m suppose to meet her family, and they are all Hispanics. Her grandparents speaks barely any English, some of her cousins speak none. I began looking up and practicing learning sentences in Spanish so I’d be able to atleast try to talk to her family. I did it out of my desire bc I am hopeful this relationship is going to be serious, and this is a big step for us. When my gf found out I was trying to learn, she told me that was rude of me to assume she’d want me too, and that I sound like a white boy mocking them. I told her it was hard for me, and I was still practicing and she told me I was being racist. She was pretty upset about it, and said if I was going to treat them like a project not to come at all. I was honestly doing it for me, I wanted to be able to talk to my gf family, and I honestly thought she’d be excited too. Aita?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/iAmMattG on 2023-06-26 04:24:23+00:00.

Long story short, I told my girlfriend I had a dream where she was wheelchair-bound. She proceeded to ask if I would stay with her in the event that happened. I told her “as long as you’re mentally coherent, of course”. Then the conversation turned into her getting upset because I couldn’t seem to find myself being able to commit to forever, in the event she was in a vegetable-like state. I told her if my quality of life was diminished enough due to her being in a poor enough state, it would be difficult.

All this being said, it was a complete hypothetical scenario. It still leaves me wondering… AITA? I’m curious what Reddit thinks here.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/throwawayyyduck321 on 2023-06-26 01:19:38+00:00.

I feel like there's no way I could be the ahole in this situation, but here I am.

Walking my dog this evening (who is terrified of fireworks), someone was lighting off fireworks. As we continue walking, I can tell we're getting closer and closer... Til I see a fully grown man, surrounded by 4-5 kids, ranging in age from wearing diapers to probably 8 or 10, lighting bottle rockets at the end of his driveway. Literally lighting them, not really stepping back at all, with kids all around him

My dog is beside himself at this point, so I'm carrying him to try and calm him down and get home as quickly as possible. We are across the street, when the man decides to light another one and it TIPS OVER and shoots in my direction. It hit the ground before hitting us, luckily.

I asked the guy why he couldn't have waited until we walked by to light it, to which he replied "maybe I would've if you had asked nicely!"

There was a bit more of an exchange of words as we continued walking away, but I thought what I said was totally reasonable after having been almost shot with a firework.

Fireworks are illegal where I live, so I reported the incident to the non emergency line. I was on the fence about reporting it, but decided to since I had almost gotten shot by the guy... AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/generationalguilt on 2023-06-25 20:59:28+00:00.

My (26F) father grew up in poverty. His father skipped out and his mother worked a lot to provide, but with 5 kids, things were tight. I have a lot of empathy for his family and always admired my grandmother for all she did, along with my great-grandmother who provided free childcare and would clean the house for her. I know they did not have it easy.

My dad along with his siblings managed to pull themselves out of poverty. Two of my uncles became well off, while the rest of the family are comfortable, middle class. I have always been grateful for the sacrifices this family has made and have told my dad more than once how proud I am for all he’s overcome.

My father always had to make the point of how lucky me and my sisters were to have what we did. He doesn’t say these things in a nostalgic, sad way…it’s in a nasty, “you’re lucky you get this because I don’t have to give it to you” kind of way. Even though we always showed gratitude. If we were ever having a bad day or disagreed with our parents over something, my dad would tell us how good we have it and he could “make things worse for us” and make us live how he did growing up. My mom and us have tried to make that up to him, giving him birthday parties, things he wanted as a kid, etc. Still, every holiday and birthday, he made us feel like shit for having parties and gifts because he never did until he married my mom.

It always left us feeling like we didn’t deserve any of it and that we couldn’t ever have a rough time or be upset with him, because he was giving us what he didn’t.

I have struggled with depression and anxiety since my teens, something I hid from my parents for a very long time, because of how my dad is. I’m in therapy. I am still learning how to feel I actually deserve good things in my life and it’s okay to feel things other than happiness. It’s not my job to make my father feel better about his childhood.

Recently, my youngest sister and some of our cousins graduated, either from high school or college. My mom and aunts were planning a big family party to celebrate. My dad was on his kick over how “spoiled” my sister is, he never got a party for graduating. It got to the point where my sister was feeling really bad and said she didn’t need a party. My dad said no, it was fine, she just better remember how lucky she is. I told my dad none of this was necessary, just let her enjoy something for once in her life. He started on how he never had it and I said “Your crap childhood is not our problem. Get some therapy or stop taking it out on the rest of us.” He started on me about being disrespectful and I just went back to my place.

My mom says I wasn’t wrong but I should’ve stayed out of it and not said it to him, because he’s not going to listen anyway. I then pissed her off by saying she’s right, she should’ve stood up for her own kid and called her a coward. Now, both of them are pissed at me and my sisters worry I’ve only made things worse. (Though they’re grateful I said it) AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Unlucky-Cobbler-185 on 2023-06-25 20:26:49+00:00.

So my family has been going to the same beach house every summer since we were kids. It’s nice enough. My parents and dad take the main bedroom, and my sisters (21f and 23f) and me (25m) each have our own rooms.

Well this year my dad invited our grandma to come with us (didn’t consult the family before doing so). She’s had some health issues lately so he’s trying to spend more time with her, which I totally get. But here’s the problem.

He wants to put her in my bedroom. I have always stayed in the guest house (right off the main house) since I don’t get along with my sisters and need space. My dad thinks his mom should have my room since it’s the only one that has a private bathroom. That means I need to sleep on the pull out couch in the living room, which offers 0 privacy and is uncomfortable.

Obviously I have a huge issue with this. My parents told me to speak to my sisters about figuring out an arrangement that seems fair to all of us since “we’re all adults.” But my sisters are total brats and will not agree to give up their rooms.

My suggestions were that either they put my grandma on the couch since she probably doesn’t care and will be happy just to be invited to our family vacation. Or that my parents give up their bedroom since they were the ones who invited her and not me. When I told my dad this, he told me that since he pays for the trips, he makes the rules, and if I don’t like it, I should go on my own vacation. I’m unable to work due to anxiety issues and he knows I can’t afford to pay for my own vacation. I told him that and he said “well you don’t have to go then!” I found that very disrespectful since I think everyone deserves to have a vacation! I’ve had a hard year too due to mental health issues and I’ve been looking forward to this.

So I’m hoping you all can help. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Lucky-Payment7512 on 2023-06-26 02:54:58+00:00.

I (24F) have a brother Cole (28M). He has a wife Pam (31F) and a best friend Rick (28M) since kindergarten. As long as I can remember Rick’s always been around and my family’s joked that he and Cole are platonic soulmates. He’s invited to every family gathering, every holiday and sometimes just stays over without Cole there. Our family has welcomed SIL into the family (+ Rick) but she’s a bit socially awkward and doesn’t really fit in with our family. The only person she really gets along with is our mom and that’s because she gets along with older ladies since she’s practically one. She’s a vanilla wife basically.

Rick’s going through chemotherapy. Cole has been by his side the entire time. I don’t think that SIL hated the idea but it’s hard to know what she thinks. The place where Rick gets chemo is about an hour away from Cole and SIL’s place.

When Cole was at the hospital with Rick he got news that SIL had a minor car accident and asked me to check on her since I live close to the ER she was taken while he got ready to leave.

I got there and SIL was recovering from the small surgery and anesthesia. She only had a few staples in her scalp and a broken arm. The doctors said she was very lucky to be so unharmed.

SIL saw me and waved me over. She said “Tell your bro I wanna be loved. I want a divorce.” and stuff about getting a gold medal in her own life. I didn’t really think a lot about it since it was obvious she was still feeling the anesthesia.

I called my bro and told him that SIL was fine and it was a minor surgery and the doctors said she was lucky. He was relieved and came to the hospital an hour or so later.

I thought everything was fine until Cole called me the day after screaming his head off that SIL wanted to separate and I hadn’t told him. Then my mom called and said SIL’s side of the family was telling our side of the family that they were separating. She bit my head off for not telling anybody what SIL said. She also yelled at my brother for being with Rick instead of SIL even though she was there too. Either of them could have gone.

I still think there was no point of telling them since it was clear SIL was still feeling the anesthesia. AITA?

Edit: I don’t know the details but it basically boiled down to Cole putting his family + friends before her every time. Honestly I’m not sure what she’s talking about since Cole has always been a thoughtful, generous guy and she said that’s why she fell in love with him. I think it’s so sad that something that your partner loves you for is now why they hate you. She never even brought up these issues either. Cole’s devasted and begged her to not leave him.

Edit edit: the reason Cole was late was because Rick wasn’t done with chemo and another friend was going thru a severe mental health thing so my bro had to calm her down and he couldn’t do that in the car. So he was delayed getting to the hospital. It’s sad but like a triage SIL wasn’t where Cole was needed the most at the time because her injuries were pretty minor

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Illustrious-Sink-768 on 2023-06-25 22:50:07+00:00.

I (23F) ride the train home from work regularly. It's usually pretty empty but on Friday it was busy for some reason. When I got on, it was empty so I took a seat and put my bag next to me. Within a few stops, a lot more people got on and some people had to stand. There was a crowd of older men standing near my seat. I have been harassed by men on the train numerous times, and I was in no mood to let someone try to strike up a conversation or hit on me, so I left my bag on the seat next to me. If there had been a woman standing I would have gladly given her the seat, but I didn't want a creepy guy next to me.

I'll spare you the details of the altercation, but basically a man told me "you know people are standing, you should move your bag" and someone else told him to mind his own business. This led to an argument, and an employee had to get involved, and moved me to the handicap seat.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Creative-Study5944 on 2023-06-26 02:09:58+00:00.

Good friend who i was roommate with for several years is going into law enforcement. the agency he is going to has a super strict background process. friend got a conditional offer. He listed me as a roommate and said i could be expecting call from the background officer conducting his report. This is fine, but i told friend i had been arrested a few times for minor marijuana possession back in the day and i generally dont like dealing with cops.

Cop called, and started asking questions about my prior arrests/drug usage. I told cop politely and firmly that i would not answer any questions about my personal life but i was happy to talk about my friends actions/moral character. Cop ignored me and asked about my arrests and started asking about "if i had sexual relations with my roommate" and if i ever was arrested or questioned for "sexual matters" since we both were gay. I told cop firmly that this was over and not to contact me again. Cop told me he was gonna put the roommates offer on hold, and if i didnt call back and give a complete interview he was gonna let the conditional offer lapse, and my friend would have to apply again or somewhere else.

I told friend about it and he asked me to call back and suck it up, i told him no and he got mad.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/GarySixNoine on 2023-06-25 22:33:10+00:00.

My niece (on my wife’s side) had her third baby’s first birthday party at her boyfriend’s house. I had never been there before but was excited to go. When we (wife of 15 years, me, and our 4 year old son) arrived, the house was extremely unclean. The air conditioning was not running - on a 95* Georgia summer day. There were three dogs and a cat in cages relentlessly barking. Dog shit was all over the place inside and out. The house smelled foul. I couldn’t stand to be in the house. I hung out with my brother in law outside most of the time. Dinner was served but I couldn’t eat. My son was oblivious, playing with the other kids, but I couldn’t stop watching him, afraid he would get into something gross.

After an hour, I texted my wife “can we please go? I’m uncomfortable.” She said no. We argued over text for a bit and told me to go home if I wanted to and she would catch a ride later. Of course I didn’t do that. I sucked it up and stayed the entire time. When we left she said I was being disrespectful to her family for wanting to go home. She said she would never act that way at my family’s parties. She said essentially that I was being a snob and that this is just how it is at people of lower incomes houses.

Context: my wife is an immigrant and person of color who was raised in poverty. I’m a middle class white guy, so there’s that.

We have plenty of friends and family at lower income levels who we visit frequently. That sort of thing doesn’t matter to me. Even the heat at the party, which was uncomfortable, was not that big of a deal. It was the unhygienic, (IMO dangerous) conditions of the house that made me want to leave. I just thought it was gross and didn’t want to be there, or my son to be there. I don’t care about the socioeconomic status of my friends or family, but I do expect a basic level of hygiene when I’m invited for a visit.

It doesn’t take any extra money to clean your house or keep after a pet. But my wife is acting as I was some disrespectful, stuck up, white privileged asshole for wanting to leave.

So, am I the asshole here? Thanks!

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Dangerous_Sink_374 on 2023-06-26 01:24:29+00:00.

So my girlfriend and I have been dating for 7 months (we are both late 20s), and things have been going good! This issue however has been our first argument so to speak.

So the past month or so we’ve been getting serious, and talking about moving in together. Not sure if this was the catalyst for this behavior but I digress.

So I notice if we are out places, my girlfriend will tell little white lies to strangers and such. For instance, we were out walking my dog, and a couple asked if they could pet him, we said yes and that led to them asking how old he was and if he was a shelter dog blah blah blah.

Before I could even pipe up, my girlfriend steps in and goes, oh well we got him several years ago and he’s just been the best dog to cuddle with over the years and my life wouldn’t be the same if we hadn’t adopted him.

Another example. We went to a restaurant that I enjoy going to, and struck up a conversation with a new bartender, and she said that this place was our date night place for several years.

So they are lies. I mean not a huge deal, as they aren’t hurting anyone, but for some reason this just irks me to know end. So I asked her why she felt the need to do this because it bugged me a bit.

She said it wasn’t a big deal, that she just wanted to feel included in my previous life. And that even though my ex and I adopted my dog together, it’s her dog now, and telling strangers this makes her feel better??

I was nice but please asked her to not do that anymore as it makes me uncomfortable.

She agreed to stop but said I was blowing it out of proportion and being an asshole over something small and has been pouty all day.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/PMMePuppyDicks on 2023-06-25 20:54:59+00:00.

So! I feel like one of us lacks perspective on this, so I am hoping y’all can help.

My parents are coming to visit us from another state for the 4th of July. I know this always causes my wife stress, just because she wants the house to be spotless when we have people over. Towards this end, we already have a cleaning service scheduled to come in a few days to help get things clean enough so she isn’t stressed out.

You should also know we have a new puppy and this thing is in the stage of putting everything in her mouth.

Now, normally we’re kind of a bit cluttered. We have people over all of the time and our most common solution to the clutter recently is throwing anything that is a little unsightly into one of our front rooms. We normally just keep the door shut and well, out of sight out of mind, right?

Anyway, one of the items in there has been an artificial Christmas tree. For a couple months we’ve talked about it a few times as something we need to take care of. It was always “we” need to take care of it. I know y’all don’t know my house, but it’s pretty difficult for a single person to get an object the size of an artificial tree into our attack.

Anyway, yesterday my wife and I go out to eat. Before we order my wife goes “can you just take care of that tree?” And I was like “sure, I will just need help getting it into the attic.” Anyway, after some of the slowest service on record it’s actually pretty late when we’re headed home so I end up telling her I am just going to have to handle the tree in the morning.

Well, morning comes around. My wife reminds me that I said I would do the tree and then tells me she is going to be outside handling some things.

So, I get up. Handle tree solo and clean up some dog mess, because of course.

Anyway, then my wife comes in in a bad mood and I am trying cheer her up, but I decide not to mention the tree… because, well, idk. It seemed like it would make her happier to find out later.

Anyway, she just asked me about it and I told her it was the first thing I did today, but she is mad. She says she would have been doing other things in there if I had said something. Maybe I was the asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/rock_fact on 2023-06-25 21:06:12+00:00.

We were at family dinner and we were all sitting around talking and enjoying each other’s company. My toddler (21 months F) was standing by my FIL (60sM) and started grabbing my MIL’s (60sF) phone off the table.

I don’t love when my daughter takes her phone but my MIL doesn’t care and typically will let her take pictures with it. point being, it was not a big deal that she was grabbing the phone and FIL knows this. oh, and the room we were in was carpeted so her dropping it wasn’t a huge concern.

I hear my FIL yell “no!” in a really harsh tone, so I turn around (I’m approximately 4 feet away on the other end of the table) and he is aggressively grabbing my daughter by the straps of her tank top with his hand twisted around them trying to grab the phone back. My MIL was sitting next to him and again, did not seem to care that she was taking the phone.

I yelled his name and told him to stop but no one else at the table seemed to think I was right for that or that he was doing something wrong. Had he just gently told her no, I would have intervened and grabbed the phone back from her but I didn’t even get the chance. My daughter started crying in a way I have never heard her cry before, I think because she was scared.

AITA because I yelled at my FIL and possibly overreacted?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Important-Window-715 on 2023-06-25 23:58:51+00:00.

Last week was our daughter's 16th birthday. We decided to go all out on her party for a variety of reasons. This would include a private tour of a place she's wanted to go to and we rented out a room to have a catered dinner. This should all have been just a smooth ride, Right? Enter my SIL.

My wife and her sister do not get along. They can keep up a causal relationship for the sake of family but that's it. It doesn't help that my experiences with my SIL have been incredibly dramatic. She's quick to play the victim and gaslight. SIL has two daughters who are practically best friends with my daughter. So obviously she wanted to invite them.

One big issue with SIL and her family is that when it comes to coordinating anything with them, they are unreliable on a good day and like trying to communicate with a blind deaf person who does not speak the same language as you on a bad one. They are never on time, sometimes hours (or in one case a day) late, and will not communicate at all if they are planning to show up. The thing I hate the most is that she will just text you randomly after an event started saying they decided not to come, or show up when they said they said they can't make it.

Because my wife does not get along with her, I told her I would handle it. I sent two emails, and three texts, and had a 20-minute phone call with SIL months ago telling her what we were doing for my daughter's birthday. Because of what we were planning, we needed to buy tickets for everyone and tell the caterers how many they were serving. I needed an RSVP as soon as humanly possible to organize this stuff. She either needed to be on time or tell me she could not make it. I told her if she ghosts me, there will be no tickets for her and her kids.

She ghosted me. I didn't buy her and her kid's tickets.

SIL and her kids showed up (on time somehow) for the event.

My wife was livid, so I handled the situation on my own and told my SIL and her kids they need to leave because we did not get tickets for her. If she wanted to join us for the tour it would cost quite a bit to get new tickets, and the caterers do not allow alterations after a certain amount of time out from the event. At first, she tried to say she did RSVP with me, and then eventually started to shame me. Our guide called security and in the end, she and her daughters were escorted away.

The event was great, but my SIL's entire family has blown up at me and my wife. The event was 2 hours away from SIL's home and they say it was heartless of me to turn her away after the trip. Along with this, her daughters have now stopped talking to my daughter. Telling her that I kicked them out of her party. I explained to my daughter the situation and she called me a dick. My wife has told me to ignore her family and that daughter will realize we're not in the wrong.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Throwra_TriDate on 2023-06-26 00:16:57+00:00.

Obligatory sorry for grammar, format, spelling, fake names, etc. I (37M) was getting to know a woman named Emma (32F) who I met on a dating app. From talking to her online, I felt as though we had a connection. I asked her out on a date and she said yes. She asked if for the date we could drive separately to the restaurant. No worries.

The date: I show up 15 minutes early and she is already there. I go to give her a hug, let her know she looks stunning, and then ask the hostess if we could be seated a little early for our table for 2. She informs me that she changed the reservation and she had invited her friend Karley (35F). Turns out she had called and changed the reservation from 2 people to 3. I could also tell that Karley felt uneasy and was not informed about the restaurant as she was a little dressed down for the place.

I try to have a conversation with Emma, but she has her head in her phone and keeps her replies short. I look at Karley and she just looks like she wants to do anything but be here. We order drinks and appetizers then Emma leaves to go to the bathroom. Karley turns to me and apologizes. She lets me know she had no idea this was supposed to be a date. She was just told to get in the car and Emma was taking her to dinner. I ask her if Emma does this kinda thing regularly and Karley says kinda. Emma comes back at this point.

I try to engage with Emma in any meaningful way, but she just kinda refuses to interact and stays locked in on her phone. I started talking to Karley. At first it was a little weird, but the more and more we talked, the more I felt comfortable with her. I tried to get Emma to engage but never got anywhere. I had a blast talking to Karley and just kept at it. After the meal arrived, about 20 minutes after sitting down, I stopped trying to get Emma to talk with us and focused on Karley.

I pay for dinner and hand my number to Karley. Said I had a great time and would love to go on a date. At this Emma starts yelling. How dare you do this you are on a date with me. I said that I was supposed to be on a date with her, but that she had invited someone without informing me, spent the entire night on her phone, and that she had ignored me the whole night. She stated that she thought we were going to do other things that night and that she was “saving her energy” for that. Told her and Karley to have a good night and left. Emma yelled at me to talk to her and I yelled back she had all night to begin it’s too late now. I looked at Karley and said please call me.

My friends are split on this. So reddit AITA?

TLDR: Went on a date. She invited her friend and ignored me all night. Had an amazing conversation and chemistry with date’s friend. Asked friend out on a date in front of date.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/joshg1838 on 2023-06-25 19:22:06+00:00.

I (20m) work for a small business where there’s probably 15 or so of us. My boss and I get along great and sometimes hang out outside of work along with a couple other coworkers. Last year we had a company picnic at our local amusement park/picnic area. We had a good time but in the middle of it everyone, my boss included, wanted me to start getting on amusement park rides with them. I told them (and told them once before we even went), that I don’t do rides but I’ll hang out while they go, no big deal. They pressured and badgered me for a couple minutes with ‘oh come on, don’t be a whimp, have a little fun.’ Even though I knew better, I got sick of it and was finally like ‘okay fine, I’ll do it.’

We get on this stand-up spinning type deal, everyone is having a great time and I’m 100% going to puke. After a bit of self-talk I get through it, we get off and I make it about five feet before I fucking lost it. Meanwhile while I proceeded to projectile vomit, my boss and my coworker snapped a photo of me and were laughing their asses off, even sent the photo to someone who wasn’t there to be like ‘ha, you’re totally missing this!’ At that point I’m irritated because I didn’t want to do it in the first place and I know I shouldn’t have, I don’t feel well and now I have the people I thought were cool with me kind of being assholes (who then also posted this photo online which wasn’t cool.)

At the same time it wasn’t the end of the world so I got over it quickly, life moved on and it was forgotten. The year went by and last week, my boss announced that yet again we were going to have the same event at the same place. He looked over and made a joke about ‘you think you’ll be able to handle it this time?’, while nudging me in the arm. I decided to tell him I wasn’t going because it wasn’t really for me and I didn’t want to bring down the vibe. Not much was said until the morning of, where my boss texted me ‘where are you?’ I let him know that I again didn’t want to attend this year because of what happened last year, and I felt no one wanted to respect my boundaries. He has been upset since then and hasn’t said much, and I don’t know if maybe i was too sensitive about it.

I would have been perfectly fine going and tagging along without the rides but since they didn’t want to take no for an answer last year, I didn’t want to feel uncomfortable about it this year and repeat it all over again. AITA for declining the invite?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Cool_Advertising126 on 2023-06-25 15:57:49+00:00.

My biological mom died when I (20f) was a newborn. I also have an older sister Mia (22f). Our biological mom's best friend was Lisa and because mom could not carry children, Lisa offered to carry us for her and dad. After mom's death, Lisa and my dad ended up getting together. And I know what many will think. But DNA did confirm we are our mom's children (did a DNA test with our grandparents). They ended up moving out of the country and while it was tough on our grandparents they offered support and would send money and cards and gifts for them/us. Only Mia and I never got the cards and gifts. We heard about the money. We were told it was sent by a family friend.

We were led to believe Lisa was our real mom. Mia found out the truth last year when she went back home and went snooping. We reached out to our grandparents and started to form a relationship.

This was upsetting to dad and Lisa who said Lisa was our mom in every way that mattered. I told Lisa during that argument that she was a shitty friend and I wish she had been erased from her kids the way she erased her own best friend from us. She said it wasn't fair and they had their reasons. I told dad he clearly never loved mom. He said that was unfair. I told them they erased the woman who was our biological mom and that made her a real mom too.

Our grandparents were not aware of everything and we weren't going to say anything. They were so appreciative that we had a good life and that (as they thought) we grew up knowing about mom. In the end I could not let them keep sending money or anything else. They stopped when they learned the truth and sent a letter saying dad and Lisa (I call her Lisa because it does really disgust me what she did and dad too, but I have a best friend and I could not do what Lisa did). Dad and Lisa were distraught because one of their children together is sick and they were using that money to help themselves stay afloat.

They were enraged when they found out what I did and said I could have at least waited until my (half) sister was better. That I had punished her more than them and it was a sick thing to do.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Ok_Fee1565 on 2023-06-25 21:23:03+00:00.

I (35F) have a morning routine that includes getting up at 5 AM, exercise, shower and work as well as making breakfast with my wife (Iris 33F) and our twins (Benjamin and Kate, they're 10). We play upbeat songs and dance and sing together during that. I usually leave for work right away and Iris (she's a SAHM) handles the kids.

My in laws were staying with us for the first time in the past 5 years. Iris was tired because she'd picked up her parents late at night. Kids wouldn't let go and wanted some music. So I set the volume of the music to the lowest I possibly could (it was barely audible) and told the kids it was a challenge to lip sync quietly.

Also, the house is spacious, and the in laws were staying in the guest room that was farthest from the kitchen. We usually do this because we dont want to disturb our guests around the house.

It was all well until my MIL showed up. She called me an inconsiderate person and said I should have known better. She said I needed to start acting like a responsible adult of my own age and told me she was once again disappointed.

I just said sorry, and thankfully she went into her room. It was hard to keep my mouth shut but I did. I told Iris about this and she was furious. She had a huge fight with her parents. This issue is now a major conflict on her side of the family. I kind of feel responsible because it all started because of me. Aita?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/LawnJustice_ThrowRA on 2023-06-25 23:19:06+00:00.

I (37M) always kept my lawn mowed until a year ago, when I ended up hospitalized for a month and when I came back I found all sorts of plants growing. I had been told before that some of them were weeds but there were other plants I hadn't seen around before, so I decided to look into them since I was stuck at home recovering anyway. Turns out none of them were weeds and the "weeds" were actually native wildflowers that are illegal to remove.

I ended up calling my local city government and told them what was going on and, after a few long talks, decided to just let my whole yard grow to preserve more wildlife instead of just the flowers, which I think is awesome. There's apparently a lot of different bugs and small animals that depend on the plants growing in my yard and this can help them flourish. I started seeing all these butterflies, moths, bunnies, and so many more in my yard and I loved it. I told my neighbors about it and a handful of them have been letting the flowers grow, though not anything more than that.

Well, I ended up in the hospital again for a few weeks. When I came back, my entire yard was completely trimmed, including my fruit trees. My beautiful marsh was just an inch of grass. I actually cried because several cocoons that hadn't hatched yet were gone, as we're the bunnies who had been staying on my back porch. I learned that a local who goes around doing free yard work for those in need came by and did it without asking me. He has a YouTube video and I've watched before and usually people are incredibly grateful to him, though he asked permission.

I will not share it since it shows where I live. His video showed he tried knocking for a few days and then decided to "make it look nice" for the neighborhood. It took him several hours to cut it since my yard is large. Why didn't my neighbors stop him? I don't know. He had comments pointing out the wildflowers and that the trees were fruit trees out of season, but he responded saying they were wrong.

I called the city and they are planning on giving him a fine and told me I could press charges since he trespassed and damaged my property, I instead decided to sue. It is going to take ages to get it back to where it had been. I had been feeding the bunnies and they had started trusting me and they haven't come back. Its so quiet now with all the birds gone that I've been incredibly sad. I miss the butterflies and moths.

I've gotten a lot of hate from the local community over me suing, but I didn't think I was in the wrong, he damaged my yard and killed native insects. I get hate mail and dirty looks when I leave my house. I've also been uninvited from a lot of community events and banned from others. I'm starting to wonder if I should just drop it?

AITA for suing a local one man business for mowing my lawn without permission?

Edit: I did talk to him before I sued. He defended himself, and refused to replace the trees he damaged. Also I'm not suing him for very much, only a few thousand, which I know he can easily afford. I'm going to replace my trees and use all the money to make my yard better for the wildlife and put up no trespassing signs. The amount I'm suing is based off of the quotes I've gotten for that stuff.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/ThrowRAlockedinn on 2023-06-25 18:19:53+00:00.

My sister Isabella has, because both of our parents are just complete dumpster fires, been like a mom to me as we were growing up. She's 24, I'm 22. Now, sometimes, she can be really helpful, really motivating, and it's awesome, other times it seems like she's just out to obliterate and demolish my self-esteem.

I was over at her apartment visiting. I started venting that I wasn't happy with my job or my co-workers, just wishing I'd get promoted or something. Told her it seemed unfair that I do the work, my numbers are good, but nobody seems to recognize it and that's what discourages me from doing the extra work.

She goes, " That sounds like laziness to me. Sounds like your lazy".

It got me really angry and I told her that she( who is obese) needs to look in the mirror if she wants to take a look at laziness. She got angry, asked me to have some self-control. I told her that she needs to learn a bit of it herself so she can prevent packing on more pounds. Told her that rather than bashing me she should be getting a jog in. She said I was weight-shaming her. I made the case that she should've actually tried to help me with my issue instead of labeling me as lazy.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Candid-Marzipan-2193 on 2023-06-25 21:19:44+00:00.

I (16f) am the only child in my household who does not call the adults in our home mom and dad. I have two bio siblings ages 14m and 13f. And I have four stepsiblings ages 19f, 14m, 14m and 12f. Mine and my brother's mom died when I was 5. Oldest stepsibling never knew her father. My other three stepsiblings dad still plays a role in their lives but was never big on the oldest and eventually my stepmom left him for that reason.

My siblings call stepmom mom since they only know her as mom, oldest stepsister calls dad that because she never had one and he was willing, younger three call him that because they are not fond of their bio father. But I have never called my stepmom mom. I was only 5 when dad and her moved in together (5 months after my mom died). She's okay. But to me I do not love her like that and I do not want her to be my mom. I have some memories of my mom and find it disrespectful. She's told me before it's never disrespectful and if I had a baby one day, wouldn't I want them to never be without a mom, I told them they'd always have a mom whether I'm dead or alive and I wouldn't want them calling someone else mom. She told me I was too young to get it so I should just follow the flow of the household and start calling her mom.

My dad and stepmom went to a meeting with my school about my IEP and there it was brought up that she was my stepmom because I tell teachers at school and my aid. Always did. But I guess it was brought up for some reason and they hated it. So they sat me down and said if I won't call her mom, then they will try to accept it, though they think she has earned that title after all these years, but they said at least stop saying dad and stepmom and start saying parents. I told them no. That when I say parents I mean my mom and dad. Not dad and stepmom.

Dad told me I was being a difficult little shit and why do I insist on punishing my stepmom for mom's death. I said it's not punishing her. It's doing what feels right to me. Just like the other kids do what feels right to them. He told me he doesn't give a shit about what I feel is right. THEY say what is right as an adult.

Stepmom said my unwillingness to work with them and compromise drives her crazy.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Ill-Penalty7420 on 2023-06-25 14:11:39+00:00.

My pregnant wife (28 weeks), myself and our 2 kids live on one side of a duplex and my sister, her husband and their 2 kids (21f, 14f- both having disabilities) live on the other side of the duplex. My wife and I have 2 vehicles. My sister and her husband have 1. My sister and I both work full time. My sister's husband hasn't worked in 8 months. My wife hasn't worked for a bit due to some mental health issues surrounding this pregnancy and me suggesting she just stay home full time while she's in therapy and essentially baking our baby. I have no issue with her staying home and "doing nothing" (these are NOT my words- will be of importance later). I prefer it this way. She is able to spend time with our kids and work on herself while doing so.

For the past 2 weeks my wife has been expressing she's stressed out due to my sister, her husband and their kids. At first it was just an annoyance because their younger kid was over to our house frequently and she can be a handful and loud (ADHD). But this slowly turned in to my wife just being full on pissed because my sister started asking my wife for rides. Like, bringing her daughters places or driving the oldest daughter to job interviews or bringing her kids to the beach/park/trails whenever she would bring our children to do anything. Now, my sister works long hours so I know she's experiencing burn out but this isn't exactly my problem, nor is it my wife's.

Yesterday my wife was livid because when I was at work, my sister came over and asked her to drive her two kids to a concert out of state (5 hour drive) because my sister was "too tired" after working. When my wife said no, my sister refused to take her seriously. "Well you're not doing anything anyways", "it's not like you're working", "my husband can watch your kids" (hard no). So I went to talk to my sister and in front of her husband and kids told them they had better stop expecting my heavily pregnant and mentally ill wife to be their Uber service and that I didn't give a fuck if they were burnt out or not and basically told the husband to get off his lazy ass and do something for his kids for once. My sister was crying and saying "I was just asking for help" because of how tired she is and apparently her husband all the sudden has a bad back. My mom says I'm a complete AH and has taken over driving those kids everywhere.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/jgorzo on 2023-06-25 16:33:54+00:00.

I (24M) just moved to a new city with a roommate (27M) I met online. We had spoken for months before this and seemed to have a lot in common. He told me ahead of time that he had a ferret named Lucky. He sent me a lot of videos and pictures and overall she seemed like a cute pet. I’ve heard bad things about ferrets, but I ignored them because my roommate seemed cool and Lucky was adorable. In person, she was even cuter so I didn’t think much about it.

A few weeks into living with him I noticed that Lucky was bipolar. Not literally, but it seemed like sometimes she was playful and nice while others she was more aggressive. Again I chose to ignore this because I knew very little about ferrets so it’s possible that they were just like that. But as I got to know Lucky I realized something. She was almost certainly two different ferrets. When Lucky was nice she looked slightly different than when she was mean. This revelation hit me like an anvil so I immediately confronted my roommate about it. He confessed that he actually had two ferrets (Lucky and Domino) and that he thought I wouldn’t agree to room with him if I knew. I was a little peeved but forgave him for lying and didn’t make a big deal out of it. However, I remained suspicious which led to the next revelation.

Part of me thought that my roommate was still lying so I did a little investigating. For context, we rent a house and he lives upstairs while I live in the basement. I couldn’t (and generally wouldn’t) snoop in his room mostly because he locked his door. I originally thought this was totally acceptable but by then I thought it was suspicious. What really tipped me off was that the Instagram profile where we mostly talked only had pictures of Lucky, which is why I didn’t think he had two ferrets. I dug around looking for alternate pages but couldn’t find any. Then I remembered him deliberately asking if I used TikTok (I didn’t) and checked there. And, my god. This man had a TikTok account where he showed off his TEN ferrets. TEN weasels that had been living under my roof for months at that point.

I confronted him again and this time he was much more defensive. He was mad that I didn’t believe him the first time even though he was still lying. I told him that if he had just told me about the ferrets right away, I may have been ok with it (probably not, but maybe). But now that I couldn’t trust him, I couldn’t live with him. I called the land lord and broke my lease. I’m staying on a friend’s couch for now but my roommate keeps blowing up my phone, cussing me out. He thinks I’m in the wrong but idk how I possibly could be. So am I the asshole for breaking my lease over my roommate’s ferret obsession?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Cute-Panda100 on 2023-06-25 18:44:16+00:00.

(Throwaway for obvious reasons)

My ex-wife Kate and I have two kids (Mike, 16 and Abby, 14). We had a turbulent marriage and split for many reasons. It wasn’t amicable and I had to fight for custody.

Kate and I both remarried. She didn’t have children with her new husband. I have three (9F, 7F, 5M) kids with my wife and also gained a stepdaughter (19). My stepdaughter’s father left after he found out my wife was pregnant, so she never knew her father. When I came into their lives I took on the role of a father figure. As far as blended families go, I am really lucky that we are all happy. My stepdaughter and I have good relationship and Mike and Abby love their siblings from my wife.

The only person that is against my family is my Kate. My wife is black and this has been a point of contention since the beginning. Especially the fact that my wife is a very dark-skinned black woman is problematic to her. Kate, her husband and I are very white. Kate hates my wife and, especially, my stepdaughter (her bio-dad is also black). Kate’s racism was one of many factors of our divorce. She has been mostly silent on my biracial kids even though they present as black. Thankfully Mike and Abby haven’t taken over her racism.

Because of this, Kate has been on a crusade, trying to make my families life as difficult as possible. It came to a head last week. We were planning to go on a vacation abroad with the entire family. Including Mike and Abby. Everyone was looking forward to it. Especially, my stepdaughter was looking forward to it. But Kate wouldn’t sign the documents that would allow Mike and Abby to travel abroad (because they are minors). Everyone was really disappointed. It would be the first vacation abroad for my three bio-kids with my wife.

I then decided to go and book the vacation anyway but without Mike and Abby. Understandably, they were not happy. Normal I don’t badmouth Kate in front of them, but I told them its because of her that they can’t go.

This caused Kate to become really angry, saying I was prioritising my new family, and abandoning Mike and Abby. She somehow placed the blame for all this on my stepdaughter. Saying my stepdaughter was taking their father away. Also calling me a “race traitor”, which didn’t make sense.

This unleashed a shitstorm with everyone of our friends weighing in, with some saying I am an asshole. Mike and Abby are pissed at me for not going on vacation, and place the blame on me, after I deflected blame away from my stepdaughter.

Kate calls me an asshole for going on vacation. I am beginning to think booking the vacation was a mistake, AITA?