this post was submitted on 25 Jun 2023
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Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Ill-Penalty7420 on 2023-06-25 14:11:39+00:00.


My pregnant wife (28 weeks), myself and our 2 kids live on one side of a duplex and my sister, her husband and their 2 kids (21f, 14f- both having disabilities) live on the other side of the duplex. My wife and I have 2 vehicles. My sister and her husband have 1. My sister and I both work full time. My sister's husband hasn't worked in 8 months. My wife hasn't worked for a bit due to some mental health issues surrounding this pregnancy and me suggesting she just stay home full time while she's in therapy and essentially baking our baby. I have no issue with her staying home and "doing nothing" (these are NOT my words- will be of importance later). I prefer it this way. She is able to spend time with our kids and work on herself while doing so.

For the past 2 weeks my wife has been expressing she's stressed out due to my sister, her husband and their kids. At first it was just an annoyance because their younger kid was over to our house frequently and she can be a handful and loud (ADHD). But this slowly turned in to my wife just being full on pissed because my sister started asking my wife for rides. Like, bringing her daughters places or driving the oldest daughter to job interviews or bringing her kids to the beach/park/trails whenever she would bring our children to do anything. Now, my sister works long hours so I know she's experiencing burn out but this isn't exactly my problem, nor is it my wife's.

Yesterday my wife was livid because when I was at work, my sister came over and asked her to drive her two kids to a concert out of state (5 hour drive) because my sister was "too tired" after working. When my wife said no, my sister refused to take her seriously. "Well you're not doing anything anyways", "it's not like you're working", "my husband can watch your kids" (hard no). So I went to talk to my sister and in front of her husband and kids told them they had better stop expecting my heavily pregnant and mentally ill wife to be their Uber service and that I didn't give a fuck if they were burnt out or not and basically told the husband to get off his lazy ass and do something for his kids for once. My sister was crying and saying "I was just asking for help" because of how tired she is and apparently her husband all the sudden has a bad back. My mom says I'm a complete AH and has taken over driving those kids everywhere.

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[–] ttmrichter 1 points 1 year ago

Not the asshole for drawing lines. Possibly the asshole for how you drew them. I wasn't there so I don't know how you put it. They're totally the asshole in both cases however for taking advantage of you.