Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/ThrowRa17920 on 2023-06-22 21:15:45+00:00.

My wife and I33 were invited to my sisters wedding. She had a rule about no children under the age of 10. My wife and I have a son who’s 13, but also is special needs and developmentally behind. He’s in a wheelchair, and fully disabled, we do everything for him. He can hold sentences with you, and he does enjoy things, but has a mind of a much younger child. We brought him along to my sisters wedding.

During the wedding our son began to get a little restless, in which we gave him his headphones and iPad which calmed him. At reception my sister pulled me aside and asked why I had ignored her rule about children. I said I didn’t, and that he was old enough to attend. She then said the point of it was for noise disruptions, then pointed out both her children missed her wedding because of their age. I told her that was her choice, and our son only acted out once which we reacted quickly and he was silent the rest of the time. She was upset still and said we reacted by giving him an iPad and how that was extremely rude of him to be on his iPad during her wedding. I told her if she didn’t want our son coming, she should have told us directly bc how are we suppose to assume. She got upset and went and complained to our mom, saying how we made her angry on her special day.

Aita

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/threekidsaita on 2023-06-22 21:10:02+00:00.

My husband (36M) and I (33F) have been married for 8 years and have 3 kids (5, 3, and a 1-month-old infant). I am currently still recovering from my planned c-section and it is taking a lot longer than I had hoped. I am not on bedrest, but pretty darn close. Unless it's to go to the bathroom or changing or feeding my baby, I'm pretty much always sitting or laying down. I don't like it, but it's what my body needs to heal right now. Both my husband and I are still on maternity/paternity leave.

Obviously, that means that pretty much every other aspect of our lives falls on my husband right now. He' been doing a great job of taking care of the older kids and making sure everything in our lives is running as smoothly as it can given our circumstances. He's also great about taking care of the baby and giving me breaks as much as he can. But I can tell it's starting to wear on him mentally and physically. Neither of us is sleeping well and I swear he looks like he's lost more weight than I have since the baby came.

Due to me being pretty much immobile, I can't really go out of the house to do anything without assistance. So I wasn't able to plan anything really fun for Father's Day. I did help the older kids make him cards and ordered him some nice steaks to cook though. I felt bad because for Mother's Day he bought me a 6-hour pregnancy spa treatment and took the older kids out of the house all day so I could have peace.

But on the morning of Father's Day, I was feeling worse than usual as I had to strain myself the day before to pick up something off the floor and I aggravated my incision. So, I was laid up all day. Again, this meant my husband had to do literally everything that day. By the time he got the older kids to bed, I could tell he was irritated and upset. I told him to try and relax for a bit, but then the baby started fussing and he jumped up off the couch, grabbed a pillow, and screamed into it.

I tried to calm him down, but he just kept freaking out about how he's at his wits end and he needs a break and that I couldn't even find a way to give him a single hour of quiet on Father's Day. I started crying and he just looked at me and walked away to take care of the baby without saying anything.

After he took care of the baby he came back to me and apologized, but he said he needs a break and he's going to talk to family about taking the older kids for a week or so and that he's just disappointed that his Father's Day was spent running around doing everything for everyone else. He didn't even get to cook his steaks, he ate cold pizza for dinner.

I asked him what I was supposed to do because it's not like I can move or leave the house and he said I could have looked into a sitter for the kids or made them sit with me and watch a movie for an hour so he could have just a sliver of time for himself. He said he feels like his needs are at the bottom of the list and he just wanted to feel like he matters for one day.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Impressive_Rock_8967 on 2023-06-22 20:22:51+00:00.

We're all 35, and my (f) friend Jill and her husband Marv have 2 kids (6 and 11).

Jill works from home and Marv works at a retail job down the road. Recently, Jill and I have been trying to hangout more, but it's usually at their place while the kids are there. I love her kids, but it means that when I am there they are always hanging onto us and trying to get our attention and we can't really have the full conversation we would like to. When I am there and Marv is there as well, he usually is posted on the couch with his phone doing whatever while Jill and I talk and hangout with the kids. Finally, we decided to plan one day a month where her and I can escape for a few hours so she can have truly adult time. Keep in mind that after his retail shifts, Marv will at least twice a week go hangout with his coworkers at their place or out at a bar.

Well, the first day of our scheduled escape comes up and he is throwing a FIT about it. He knew it was happening, and that it meant he would have to be watching the kids for 3 hours, but still he is in meltdown over it. How it's not fair that she can just "abandon" the kids with him, and what if an emergency happens, that she just wants to leave the house so she can get hit on, and so on. He is saying that if we want to go anywhere, we have to take the kids. He even said "take them to Chucky Cheese, they'll be preoccupied and you can have your adult talk". Going to somewhere like that is a literal nightmare for me as I do not have nor want kids, but it's also not doing Jill any 'favors" as the kids will need to be supervised anyway, and they'll be touring us around showing us everything they are doing. Very cute and I love it, but that's not the goal of the day.

Anyway, I show up and we quickly get her into my car and we go the the bar that is within view of their backyard. It was close enough for her to be able to get home in 45 seconds if there was an emergency, but we got to have our much needed adult time. Now he's wigging out, saying I'm an asshole and that I am banned from being over there because I am trying to split up their marriage. Little does he know her and I talked a lot about ways that they can grow in their relationship and get some happiness.

Anyway, was I an asshole for picking her up? With there being the insecurity issue in him, I do feel bad that he was experiencing that and I am left wondering if it was the wrong thing to do.

For some info: They have been married for 13 years, there has never been an instance of infidelity on either side, and if Jill were to flirt with someone while we were out I would absolutely be pissed off at her and give her an earful.

EDIT: Thank you all for your input - I feel better knowing that I didn't further the issue in their relationship and will be showing her these comments so far so that she can see just how off putting his behavior is. It tends to be hard when you've been married for so long to step back and see the behavior for what it is when it's clouded by a lot of 'context'.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Few_Bee7633 on 2023-06-22 18:43:08+00:00.

Long story short, my wife and I were evicted 2 months ago after the landlord sold the property. Given that my wife is a minimalist, we were able to rent out the smallest storage locker and fit everything inside, with the exception of one item: her recliner. We stored it over to my mom's house.

We are currently living with my sister while putting in home applications and house searching. It's been a bit stressful because my wife is not a dog person at all and there are 4 pretty untrained dogs here (Aussie Shepherds) who shed like there's no tomorrow. My sister and her husband aren't exactly on top of cleanliness either so there's piles of dog hair in the corners of the home that you could probably make a full rug out of.

Well, my mom said I need to move the recliner somewhere because she needs to store some of her own items and doesn't have room. I told her I'd come grab it tomorrow. I came home and told my wife about it and my sister suggested I bring the recliner there and just stick it in the living room. My wife said no, she was going to find storage for it. My sister didn't push the issue, but we don't have anywhere else to store it either. I told my wife later (when we were alone) that we didn't have anywhere else to store it and she said she would have to figure it out because her recliner is definitely not coming here. When I asked why, she said "I'm not having my one piece of furniture destroyed by a bunch of disgusting dogs. I want the recliner and if I bring it here, it's staying here. I'm not willing to do that." I told her at this point she's being difficult because I need to move that chair and don't really have time for her to figure it out. She raised her voice at this point and said "Do whatever the fuck you want then. I already have nothing but sure, ruin my one fucking thing that I actually kept." She's still pissed at me right now. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Ok_Fig_6450 on 2023-06-22 18:42:05+00:00.

Step daughter 17 and I don’t have a relationship nor any form of interaction for the last 2 years.

I used to be friendly to her and her two siblings. Helping here and there with what they needed; shopping, pick up & drop off to different activities plus I was also doing all the cooking, cleaning, entertaining, organizing trips and activities for all. But no matter how nice or helpful I was to her, I always felt rejected. Initially I thought it was normal and it was a matter of time for her to open up to me. Her other two siblings were simply cordial, which was fine to me.

Four years passed by and things got worse. She was only acknowledging me whenever she needed something, other than that, I was made feel like an object; no hello, goodbye, not even looking at me. We both could be in the same room and she’d just pass me by like if I was part of the décor. She was always wearing her AirPods around me and she was never helpful around the house (Neither her siblings).

I got tired of feeling used and rejected so I stopped doing anything with and for her. Husband was not happy at all. We had so many fights and arguments about it, but I stood my ground.

After two years of having peace of mind by not acknowledging one another, husband is out of town texting me that his daughter wants to know if she can email me some forms to print out and give them to her. Not only I said no, but also pointed out at how ballsy she was for requesting my help considering our situation. Also got mad at my husband for entertaining her request knowing how bad things are among us. Acknowledging me only when she needs my free services was one of the many reasons I wanted nothing to do with her. I had a big fight with my husband over the phone. He’s beyond upset at me and finds me petty.

Step daughter lives with her mom a couple blocks away from us. She has an older half brother that also lives in the neighborhood (they get along very well) Her mom has lots of friends and extended family, so clearly I’m not the only resource she has.

The task wasn’t going to take lots of my time and effort. Even thou it was requested at 10pm, I could’ve printed it out and left it in the front porch for her to pick it up In the morning.

So, AITA for not helping the step daughter with her simple request?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/farosco on 2023-06-22 18:57:41+00:00.

My (26M) bio mom left when I was 4. My dad remarried when I was 12 and my mom adopted me. She truly has been the only mom I’ve ever known/remembered. I’ve called her “mom” long before she adopted me. We are very close. Until now, I haven’t thought anything negative about either of my parents.

In the years since, my parents had 2 more kids, a 12 year old girl and a 6 year old boy. I am very close with both of them as well.

Recently, I discovered I have a 22 year old half-brother, Kyle, from my bio mom. Yeah, the math adds up and we now know she took off because she cheated on my dad and married the father of my brother. While bio mom and I still haven’t seen or spoken, Kyle and I have been getting to know each other. He lives quite a bit away but is now coming to visit and is potentially moving to the area after he graduates college as there’s more job opportunities for him and his girlfriend.

I mentioned to my parents that’s he’s attending my fiancé’s baby shower and I planned to introduce him to everyone then. It was then they revealed my younger siblings know nothing about me being adopted. It something I didn’t know, honestly because me being adopted doesn’t come up a lot. I don’t like to think about or discuss my bio mom. My mom has always made sure to make me feel loved and wanted, just as much as her bio kids.

I told my parents it was time for them to explain it to my siblings as I’m not going to hide who he is. They feel my youngest brother isn’t old enough to understand and that my sister wouldn’t keep the secret. I pointed out it doesn’t need to be a secret and I’m sure there’s literature or some way to bring it up.

This didn’t turn into a huge thing. They did end up telling my siblings (and outside a few questions, they did get it). However, some people I’ve spoken to feel it wasn’t right for me to ask this of them. My dad said he felt I “rushed him”. My mom was the only one who said I was right (outside my fiancé).

Was I wrong?

EDIT: stop treating this as something it’s not. My parents weren’t doing this maliciously or to hurt anyone. Yes, everyone else knew I was adopted, mostly because they were there when it happened. They don’t make a big deal of it to every single person who enters their lives, but honestly neither do I. The only people I’ve told in recent years are my fiancé and her family, when I first met them, as obviously they’re important. It’s the same with them.

My parents didn’t want to tell my siblings as they didn’t think they’d get it, as well as not wanting them to treat me differently. That’s all. Stop turning this into “wow, your parents are super sus”.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Resident_Plastic_957 on 2023-06-22 17:50:42+00:00.

Me and my wife went through a messy divorce when our son Joshua (16M) was 14 and he'd also had just came out around then and I know it was a really stressful time for him. Like a lot kids he acted out some and then he settled down some.

His mom my ex kinda got a new boyfriend Derek pretty quickly and he's not to fond of Derek and spends alot of time with me which his mom hates. She and Derek married Saturday.. in the few months leading up to it Joshua has been acting out some. Like skipping classes with his boyfriend ,missing football practice, arguing with his mom etc. Derek really wanted a no kids wedding but my ex really wanted Joshua there and he relented for Joshua to come. Joshua didnt want to go and his mom said he could bring his boyfriend if he behaved which he agreed to.

I told my ex that that was unfair seeing as Joshua didn't want to go in the first he should be allowed to have a person there regardless cause he was having a hard time with this. Of course she didn't listen. Well Joshua was on his last straw when they went tux shopping and he threw a fit about have to wear one. ( He's one of those boys who wears nothing but sweats) She promptly banned him from bring his boyfriend.

Joshua upset came to stay with me last week. His mom called everyday telling me that the wedding was that Saturday and she needed Joshua to come back home. I mostly ignored her. Day of Joshua begged me not to make him go and I didn't even after his mom called pissed and yelling about it. Now I've been getting calls from my ex inlwas about they couldn't believe I ruined my ex's wedding like that by not letting her have her son there and how embarrassing it was for her. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Icy_Click_2530 on 2023-06-22 19:00:33+00:00.

I have a horse boarded in a stable where people go to have lessons. She's not used for lessons, but sometimes if the owner of the stable asks or a friend wants to I let them ride her. Always with me there. Last time I went to the stable with a friend to care for my horse and take her for a ride, the owner came and asked me to let someone ride my horse.

I've almost never said no. However, that woman was extremely overweight. I don't usually care about people's weights, that's their life, but she was obviously going to end up hurting my horse. So I simply said that no, she isn't allowed to because I'll be the only one riding it that day. She got angry because she would have to wait around an hour (all lesson horses were being used) plus the owner also insisted and asked why not, if I've always said yes.

I answered "I already gave my answer and I'm looking out for my horse's health because with all due respect, I won't let her get hurt carrying too much weight" and left. But later they saw me letting my friend P on my horse and confronted me about it. The woman started yelling about how I committed a hate crime against her and how I discriminated her because of her weight, that I was a fat phobic person, etc. The owner came and apologized to her while glaring at ME.

After the woman left claiming that this was the worst stable and blablabla, the owner said I shouldn't have been an AH because of her weight and just to let her get on. Now, it's true that my decision was based on her weight which could seem fat phobic, but I truly wouldn't care about her weight if it weren't for the fact that she wanted my horse to carry her and use her for a lesson.

Most riders there agree with me, but the clients who saw the situation, some parents and the owners are calling me a fat phobic AH. So, I need an unbiased opinion, AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Vast-Lead-6027 on 2023-06-22 18:54:14+00:00.

Used the wrong “there” in the title, on my phone sorry

Ok I’m getting mixed opinions from this. Two kids 13 and 11, I’m not going to lie we live a pretty frugal life, all my extra money I make goes into their college accounts or fun weekends. Dad has them once a month and is the fun parent. Can’t get his child payments in but willing to do a surprise trip to kennywood. It’s frustrating all right.

I try not to say anything bad about him but he has been pushing the narrative that without him and the money he gives me we wouldn’t have the home. It’s so false, and now the kids are going well dad pays for this. My last straw is when the kids told me that it’s dad who pays for the home. So I pulled up my budget spread sheet and it includes all the stuff that he pays for, so child support and he hasn’t paid for the past two months

The kids were upset for being lied to and the oldest get in an argument with him since she called to confirm. We got in a argument and he is calling me a jerk. My friends are split on this and I am wondering if I went too far

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Free_Grapefruit2289 on 2023-06-22 18:19:30+00:00.

I (31) met my husband (34m) 8 years ago, and we have been married for 6. He has an 11 year old daughter from a previous relationship.

I work from home so I mainly end up taking care of her. I have since she was young. We have a generally good relationship. She stays at her mothers most weekends.

She has incredibly long blonde wavy hair, just past her bottom. It’s a nightmare to take care of. It frequently tangles and she always needs help brushing and styling it before school. I’m not a morning person and I do not like having to wake up early to do a kids hair. It’s expensive to maintain as she requires more products, she insists on using hair oils which can cost around $11 and only last a few weeks. She also insists she has to use curly hair shampoo instead of regular shampoo and conditioner which is often over $10 per bottle. And she goes through it at a fast rate. She won’t use a regular brush on it as she insists it breaks her hair and hurts so she uses a wide tooth comb which takes a long time to brush when she could be doing other more productive things such as homework or helping me with chores.

I decided she had become obsessed with her hair, and I do not want her to become vain, so I decided it needs to be cut. I don’t see it as a big deal as I have always had shoulder length hair as my hair does not grow very fast and I get frequent trims. It’s a lot more practical.

I took her to the hair dressers as normal. In the car on the way down she said she wants to make sure the hairdresser doesn’t cut too much. I politely explained that I would like her to cut her hair to shoulder length as it has become a burden.

At first she thought I was joking, but when she realised she started to cry. When we got to the salon, the hairdresser was reluctant to cut her hair due to her tears but I explained the trouble we have maintaining it, and assured cutting it would be best for her. In the end the stylist agreed and cut her hair. The stylist braided her hair then cut it. She kept it. Her hair was now just past shoulder length, and looked a lot darker. The car journey home was silent, I offered her McDonald’s but she refused. She went straight to her room when we got back.

My husband went up to see her when he got home and apparently found her on her bed sobbing holding her old hair. My husband immediately called her mother to come and collect her and as soon as my stepdaughter was out the door, he started yelling. Her mother also came in and gave me a mouthful.

I explained my reasoning but my husband wouldn’t budge. He said if I had issue he would have did her hair in the mornings and that he didn’t mind paying for the products. He was so furious he said he no longer trusts me around his daughter, and doesn’t know if he can be with a woman who he doesn’t trust with her. This broke my heart.

I didn’t mean her any harm, I was just so tired and I’m trying to reduce stress. I’ve always been the one to raise her and her brother and I’m just exhausted. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Confident-Text-8322 on 2023-06-22 17:08:10+00:00.

My sister (45f) and her daughter (12) came to stay with me and my wife (both 28) and our kids (10f, 6m) following my sister's divorce. My nieces bio dad has never been present and my sister's ex husband wants nothing to do with her, despite raising her. Due to this, my sister is severely depressed and my niece has been acting out. My sister honestly can't handle it and it's made her spiral further. She sleeps a lot. Both my niece and her are now in therapy.

My nieces friend came over 3 nights ago and hasn't left yet. Since this girl arrived, both my daughter and my niece haven't been very nice to my son. Purposely making sure he isn't included, to a point of making comments to him for something simple (like him going in to the living room when they are watching a movie). They are taking "girl time" to the extreme and they have been spoken to several times about it and I thought it was getting better.

Well, I got home from work today and my wife was noticeably pissed. She says "choose what you want for dinner and go wake your sister the fuck up because I'm not feeding her kid or her kids fucking friend". Apparently about 30 minutes prior the girls were being over the top mean to our son and it made my son rage out. I told my wife that I understood her frustration and I'm there to help her now. She said, through gritted teeth without looking at me and gripping the sink to a point of white knuckles "Go wake up your sister because I'm not fucking feeding her kid and her kids fucking friend. I'm done." Sister hears and comes down and gets in to it with my wife about her lack of empathy (for denying kids food) and I agreed with my sister. I understand this is hard and that the girls are being asses but don't deny a child food. She told us all to get out (technically her house) and that I had better never darken her doorstep again. My sister and niece were very triggered by my wife and were both crying profusely. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Doyoureallycare1310 on 2023-06-22 15:49:16+00:00.

I’ll try to keep this short.

25F here. I have been dating my boyfriend since 6 months now. We studied at university together and even though I wanted to move back to my home country, I chose to stay with him and find a job. Everything was going great until he told his parents about us sometime back.

The first time I spoke to his mom, she basically was ranting to me for 30 mins straight that we should get married as soon as possible. I didn’t want to be rude or create a scene. So I gently tried to tell her that I’m trying to find a job first and focus on my career for a bit. I told my boyfriend later that I didn’t appreciate her asking us to rush things (we had only been dating for 6 months and I’m just 25!). He spoke to his parents and said that it wont happen again.

The next time his mom spoke to me on call. It was the same bullshit. This time telling me to have kids soon too. A short while later, they were visiting us. And I basically told her that I didn’t like a few things she mentioned to me over call the last time. She became really hyper and said that it is normal for parents to get involved in their kids lives, marriage and babies. I basically said that in that case, she should talk to her son about it and not me since I’m not her child.

My boyfriend gave me a lot of shit later for saying that to his mom. He said that ‘this is how his mom is’ and ‘this is how things are’ and if I want to be with him then I need to learn to ignore whatever his mom says. Cause afterall, it wasn’t like she was tying my hands and getting me married forcefully. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/yayabananaaaa on 2023-06-22 15:24:14+00:00.

I (f20) work at a small clothing boutique, my manager is “Jacob” (M28,Jacob is gay, keep that in mind as its relevant to this story)

My boyfriend has visited me at the store few times and has met and talked to Jacob aswell. Jacob always tells me how my boyfriend is “sooo hot” and how he wishes he had a boyfriend as hot as mine. I don’t really pay too much mind to Jacob’s comments because that’s just his personality, he’s outgoing and just says what’s on his mind. My boyfriend has expressed to me that Jacob’s comments make him a lil uncomfortable because he’s not gay and Jacob has been openly flirty with him.

Today we got a new shipment of clothes so I was busy placing the tags on them and Jacob was just chilling at the cash registers. My phone was placed on the counter next to Jacob. As I’m placing tags , the store phone starts ringing so I pick it up. As I’m speaking to the customer, my personal phone also starts ringing (my boyfriend was facetiming me). I look down at my phone and as I was about to reject the facetime Jacob gives a me cheeky look and grabs my phone like he’s about to answer it. I yelled “Jacob no, don’t answer it.” He starts jokingly running around the counter, me chasing him. He eventually answered it anyway and was like “heyyy baby”

I quickly snatched my phone out of Jacob’s hand and told my boyfriend I’d call him back in a few minutes and I hung up the facetime. Keep in mind I was still on the phone with the customer while this commotion was going on. I apologized to the customer, helped her out and hung up the call. I look at Jacob (he was laughing about this) and I said “don’t do that again. Especially when I’m on the phone with a customer. That looked so unprofessional over the phone”.

Jacob said “omg!!! Just lighten up! I just wanted to talk to your boyfriend. I look good today I just wanted him to see me heheh!!”. I said “just don’t touch my phone, I don’t answer your phone without your permission. Also my boyfriend isn’t gay and you flirting with him like that makes him uncomfortable”. I didn’t say anything else and just went to the backroom of the store. Since that happened this morning there’s been some awkward tension in the store.

AITA for saying what I said?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/sunshowered on 2023-06-22 17:33:16+00:00.

My (31F) stepdad died last year, and we were all on a family cellphone plan. Since he died, real estate developers, roofing companies, hurricane window salespeople, etc., call me constantly to ask about selling or working on his house (which has already been sold, which is another story in and of itself) because I guess they see my cellphone number attached to the address. If I answer, I tell these people that they’re harassing a family member of a deceased person and that they’re terrible, stupid people, and how would they like it if I called them daily about THEIR dead dad? My friend witnessed this the other day and said I was being unnecessarily dickish and taking my grief out on an innocent person, but I feel like if these people cold call randos and won’t leave me alone, they deserve to get ripped into and maybe I’ll get pulled off their list, but I see her point, and she’s right—I am still pretty angry with the universe about his premature death. AITA? How much respect is owed to spam callers?

Edit: to be clear, they are definitely spam callers. They’re finding my number associated with the address online because of the family cell plan or something and cold calling me about the property. Most of them are real estate companies “looking to buy my property,” except my name wasn’t ever on the deed, my stepdad and I don’t share a last name, and I have never had any legal or really even personal attachment to the property—I never even lived there! His executor, my step-uncle, handled the sale of the house months ago and was the POC for all things house-related.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Ok_Payment_6843 on 2023-06-22 14:00:30+00:00.

My oldest son Jax 16M practically grew up with his bestfriend Nate also 16M. My wife was close college friends with his mom and he's been around so much that he was basically like a third son and like another brother to my boys. Now Nates have always been a bit more old fashioned for my taste but I didn't know by how much until Nate came out almost 3 yrs ago and they kicked him out.

To say we were shocked was an understatement and of course we let him stay with us while we tried to talk to his parents and while his mom seemed liked she'd take him home his dad wouldn't have it and they let us take him. We became his legal gaurdians overnight pretty much. After about year of nc/lc Nates mom started going to pflag meetings then started getting his dad to go.. Nate are in a much better place then they were but Nate still didnt want to go home. His Dad recently found out he might have cancer and now his parents really want to reconcile with him and maybe move back in.

They asked me to talk to him about it. Now this maybe a little selfish, but Nates kinda bloomed with us , his grades are up, the boys especially Jax love having him round and he even got a boyfriend. Me and the wife love him we'd hate to see him go so last Friday I talked to him about it but I told him I wasn't going to make him reconcile or move back in with them. He told he didn't want to and I relayed that to them which they didn't take well. His dad in particular accused me of not trying hard enough and me stealing their kid. I told them I wasn't going to force Nate to go back with them just because he might be sick and now only really wants to make up for it. They just told me to go screw myself. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/stocktismo on 2023-06-22 15:07:01+00:00.

I(M31) and my wife (F31) have been married for 7 years now. We recently had a child and it has been amazing. Of course it takes up a lot of our time and energy but completely worth it.

Through out college an highschool i used to play basketball and wrestle competitively i was extremely good and loved both sports. After college i stopped and picked up the hobby of BJJ my wrestling foundation obviously gave me a huge a advantage and i started competing and doing very well. I picked up coaching for a bit of extra income and to offset the time spent training. 4ish hours per day 4 days a week 3 weekdays and one weekend day on top of a regular job. My wife didn't like it much but was supportive anyway. She doesn't really have any hobbies or many close friends.

Fast forward a few years and our son was born. I took a month of of BJJ to help out with the baby. I got a new job with better pay and a few days remote work. After a month i went back to training. It would occasionally come up that i spend to much time away but with her quitting her job to be a SAHM we decided to keep it as is. Within a week or so of getting back into it I had a pretty rough shoulder injury. My competitive career is over but i continue coaching. 2 days week 8 hours on Saturdays and 4 hours on Wednesdays. I have no joy in it anymore but the money still helps.

I started playing basket ball a couple hours once a week. The team i play for practices twice a week. Am i the asshole for wanting to play both days? I'm extremely extroverted and extremely competitive. Essentially all i do is work and don't have any other hobbies or social outlets. My wife is more introverted and would prefer i don't play at all but definitely doesn't want me to play 2 days per week.

Edit : i don't want to continue coaching but she thinks we need the money and don't disagree but i think we would still be fine if i stopped.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/jvhobee on 2023-06-22 14:26:03+00:00.

I was walking with my friend and we passed near a fountain. It’s very hot here and in the fountain there was an obese kid (maybe 11-12) on a bike without a shirt. We shared a look because it’s not an usual sight but then she took her phone and started taking pics/recording him. I asked why she did that and she got really defensive, saying that she wasn’t going to send or post it anywhere. I again just neutrally asked why she needed to take picture of that and what’s the point of having stuff like that on your phone. She said that I’m blowing things out of proportions and trying to make her feel bad, but I was genuinely curious what the pics were for. She just said that it’s normal to talks pictures of unusual things and it’s nothing bad because she’s not posting them anywhere and in her opinion it’s not disrespectful. For me taking pictures of any stranger is kinda weird but especially kids. She also brought up her friend who sometimes posts pictures of homeless people sleeping in weird places which I also don’t think is okay (may be illegal even) but she’s making it seem as if I’m taking it too far because it’s just a harmless photo.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/DesstinSong on 2023-06-22 13:08:34+00:00.

So my dad has my sister (23f), my brother (21m) and me (18f) with our mom. They divorced when we were young because he wasn't very good to her. About four years ago he got married again and 2 years ago he and his wife had a daughter together. It bothers my dad (and his wife to an extent) that we are not all about their daughter and that we act like she's different to us. She's so much younger which is a part of everything but the main thing is he wants us to be invested in her as much as we are with each other. He wants us to be those much older siblings who don't want to miss out on much. But none of us feel that way.

She got a small surgery recently and dad was so upset that none of us insisted on being at the hospital with them. It was not a serious surgery at all and she was home the same day. But it weighed on dad that none of us were like "out of my way, we need to be there!!"

So my siblings and I have this sibling trip planned that sort of coincides with celebrating me graduating high school. Dad heard about it and proposed a change of plans to us. He wanted to pay for all of us (the three of us, dad, his wife and their daughter) to go to Disney or Universal for a week and that we could spend time with our half sister as well and have sibling time with all true siblings, not just us older three.

My siblings were all auto no's but I couldn't reply straight away so dad thought he had a chance (when I say I couldn't reply, I mean the app on my phone was being weird) and he was then messaging me alone and saying how it would be a good thing and how we'd have those memories forever and if we could make a tradition of it and she (half sister) would always know her big siblings enjoyed having her around. When I could reply I did and turned down the offer as well.

Dad is pissed and said it's not every day kids our age get the offer for a vacation paid for by parents and even offered spending money. He said it's like we're determined to make it clear our half sister is not wanted and we'll be the reason we're not close as she gets older, not the age gap and not him or his wife.

He told me I was acting like a kid and not like a new adult.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/throwaway479259 on 2023-06-22 15:09:24+00:00.

I (27F) got married to my husband (29M) last weekend. We spent months planning it and we were really excited because we had managed to rent our dream venue, find a perfect bakery for the cake and gorgeous decoration. We went with a fairytale aesthetic and most of our decoration was a dark green/ wood toned.

For the bridal party, we chose a few fairly affordable dresses that fit the theme (each about $100) and I asked each of my bridesmaids to buy one for themselves (but clarified that if any of them was struggling financially, I‘d cover the cost of the dress).

A few weeks ago, my husband‘s brother (24M), who is one of the groomsmen, asked me whether he could wear a dress to the wedding as well. I knew that he liked expressing himself through fashion, so I told him to go ahead and sent him the same selection of dresses my bridesmaids had been given.

Apart from thanking me, I didn’t hear back from him about the dress situation, so I just assumed that there were no problems.

However, the day of the wedding, he showed up in a pink dress. Not a muted rosé, but a hot pink, walking highlighter-esque.

I asked him what the fuck he was wearing and he told me that I had given him permission to wear a dress. I had, but I was expecting him to pick from my pre-chosen selection and I had very clearly communicated that. He hust shrugged, saying he hadn’t liked any of those dresses.

At that point, I was nothing but stressed and trying to hold back angry tears. Even after my husband had tried talking to him, he insisted on wearing that dress and I set an ultimatum for him to either go change (my husband had a spare suit at the venue) or get out.

He told me calm down because "bridezilla didn‘t look good on me" and I just screamed at him go go fucking change or I‘d kick him out myself. He seemed surprised at my outburst and with an annoyed huff, he went to get changed into my husband‘s suit.

Apart from that incident, the evening was lovely and except for the ceremony, my husband tried keeping his brother as far away from me as possible.

I‘ve had time to think about the situation and I‘m starting to think I might’ve overreacted a bit and shouldn’t have been as rude. Both my husband and my bridesmaids think that I had every right to be angry, but my BIL hasn‘t talked to any of us since the wedding and my brother received some calls from his family about how he shouldn’t have let me talk like that to his brother.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/No_Basil3744 on 2023-06-22 15:53:04+00:00.

So I’ve been with my bf for 3 years and he’s never ever had an issue with my body etc. I hate that women are expected to live up to certain beauty standards and quite frankly I can’t be bothered shaving my hoohaa every freaking week. I mean I keep it tidy but not like a bald badger. And no suddenly my bf has an issue with it. So I’m purposely going to grow it out. I hope it turns into the god damn Amazon jungle. Am I the ass hole for doing the complete opposite or is he the ass hole for wanting me to do this

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Rememberthepogs on 2023-06-22 14:55:31+00:00.

This all happened when I was around 36 (m) or so. My father is obsessed with needing to know what I do for a living. I began a job a few years ago and have signed multiple forms indicating it is 100% confidential. It's a great job, and much better than the long time I worked in restaurant. I have told my father as much as I am legally allowed to tell him, but it is not okay with him. He wants specifics of what I do, which I can't legally give. He believes because he is family, it should be okay for him to know. That said, I already can't trust him not to go around putting any details on display. For context, when my brother and sister-in-law had their first baby, they told him not to announce the news until they did. He announced it immediately, and they were furious. When they had their second baby, he did the same thing.Well, back to my story. His desire to know my life has become an obsession.

For context, I had been living with him for a brief spell because of Pandemic and the first year of this job was part time (yes I know, 36m living with dad, I'm not proud of it, it's just what I had to do at the time for financial reasons). I would have breaks in between projects, and so I wanted to check out a board game convention. It was in the same city, but a fairly long drive, so I figured I'd just use my hotel points to stay the hotel where the convention was being held. When I returned, I found out he had been keeping tabs on me, as he asked me how "hotel xyz" was, and I hadn't told him where I was staying or the name of the convention, but what upset me was that it seemed like he didn't trust I was telling the truth about where I was going. Even if it was a secret, it's none of his business. He started opening my mail, specifically mail from my employer. All he's seen is my tax information. Thankfully, it wasn't long before I could move out, which of course, infuriated him. Some of my mail still goes to his house, since I had been staying there previously, and he continues to open it, but luckily, nothing that could cost me my job.

AITA for not just telling my father the details of my job?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/throwawayaita4543 on 2023-06-22 14:41:32+00:00.

I'm going to try get straight to the point. I'll call my sister Jen for this post, also if anyone's curious I'm 33 and Jen's 26. We've always gotten along fine but we've just never been super close.

I'm getting married in a few weeks, Jen's invited. We decided to have a child free wedding, no one under 18. (side note, I know some people don't agree with child free events and that's okay, but this is our decision.)

Jen has a 10 month old daughter. When the invites went out last year, they asked if they could bring the baby but I said no, this is the rule that we've decided for all our guests. She seemed to understand and confirmed she'll be attending the wedding.

Long story short, recently Jen asked me again if she could bring her daughter because the original arrangement she had is no longer possible, and she'd still like to attend my wedding. Again, I told her (politely) no, and she said if that's the case then she doesn't think she can make it. I said I understood, but I could see Jen was really upset.

Mom got involved and said I'm being selfish, and should allow Jen to bring her baby so she can attend at least part of the ceremony. She's saying she won't attend either and would rather stay with Jen.

I eventually snapped and said they both need to respect my decision, I understand if Jen doesn't want to come but she doesn't get to act all huffy and think the world needs to cater to her, and mom is willing to miss the biggest day of my life because of all this.

Needless to say it's been pretty tense between me and Jen. I've got a couple of people telling me I'm in the wrong here, so AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Negative_Avocado8254 on 2023-06-22 14:16:25+00:00.

So I 21m recently turned 21 and decided that I wanted to have a family dinner instead of a party this year. A little backstory Growing up I was always close to my cousin let’s call him Ryan (20m) Ryan grew up normal and got in an accident when he was 17 making him paralysed from the waist down.

I came out as gay when I was 19 and recently got a boyfriend to which Ryan think he has more rights and the “one up” since he’s in a wheelchair which I’m not gonna get too much into, he has been openly homophobic, he claims being gay is not natural, disgusting, gay people are disabled and is a sin (he isn’t even religious) when I came out to him a couple years ago he outright cut me out of his life even though I was there for him through his whole recovery of his accident, we haven’t spoken in about a year. This year I turned 21 and made a little event on Facebook, I invited my family and friends including ryan. About a week or so before my birthday my family was at my house as it was my moms birthday, ryan saw that I had a boyfriend and kept giving us dirty looks. Ryan eventually wheeled over to us and said “oh so you’re still a f(slur), you both will burn in hell”. Everyone at my house heard and it went silent, me and my partner were speechless so we just ignored it as we thought it was best not to retaliate and didn’t want to make a scene at my moms birthday. Later I went on Facebook, removed him from the event and blocked him on all social media. My phone started blowing up with texts from my uncle and Aunty saying how inconsiderate I was to do such a thing and that me and my boyfriend need to stop being so “soft” and that gay people are always so soft, I tried to ignore the messages but they kept messaging to which I replied “it’s my birthday I can invited and uninvite whoever I want, he called me a slur and has never accepted me, maybe he should look in the mirror and see that HE is the disabled one here, not me and at least I can walk away from family unlike him” and then blocked their numbers, my parents found out what I said and claimed what I said was “uncalled for” and “out of pocket” and saying that I need to apologise, I don’t think I need to apologise for anything I done, I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong, my boyfriend said I may have been a bit harsh on my words which has me thinking if I’m an asshole or not. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/ThrowawayPBaJ on 2023-06-22 13:23:02+00:00.

I (19f) recently attended my cousin Judy’s (18f) birthday party. I bought her a purse from one of her favorite brands and she was pleased when she opened it at the party (family tradition to open the presents toward the end of the party so the giver could see how happy they made the birthday person).

A couple days ago I ran into Judy at the supermarket. Judy asked me if I still have the receipt of the purse. I said no. She then asked me if I could find the time to go with her to the mall. I asked what was going on and she said the birthday gift from her cousin from the other side who lived in another city just arrived and it was exactly the same purse I bought her. She thought she could exchange my purse for something else since she doesn’t need two of the same thing. So she either needs the receipt or my credit card to return the purse.

I admitted that I was a little upset. I wasn’t particularly close to Judy because her parents moved around a lot until a few years ago, but I put time and effort into getting her this purse. I told Judy that I’m busy and don’t plan on going to the mall anytime soon. I then walked away. Judy followed me and asked why was I being petty and mean when she was just being practical, but I paid for my things and left the supermarket. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Riseofthethunder on 2023-06-22 12:56:16+00:00.

Brother got caught using chat GPT and now received a 0 in both papers. now had to resit his exams. 2 different papers. He had a meeting with the head. He’s in college doing engineering.

Mother can’t pay for it cause she’s “broke”

I’m also broke. I’m also a college student. Working for the summer. I don’t get paid until next Friday so the money I have has to do me until then. I told her I can help out when I get paid

She said I was being extremely selfish. I told her that it’s not my fault he failed his exams, and she said that “this is family, and we must help each other”. I told her that I needed to help myself first

What do I do? His repeat exams are €150