ryan

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GF slept with more than 20 men!

Yesterday I came to know that my gf has slept with 20+ guys (mostly hookups). She said that after her first break up she wanted to forget about her ex and her though process was “to forget someone you have to go under someone”.
Then she got some psychotic episodes. And she started sleeping with many men. She even dated a 32 year old guy when she was 21.
She said that she thought if she sleep with someone they might love her back. But they just used her.

Then come to Jan 22 when she met me. And we started going out. I had just one gf before and that was puppy love. I never slept with anyone before.
Then after 9 months me and my current gf had sex. Then I realized that she was also texting some hot guy and kinda cheating on me. When i asked her she said that she was used to jump from guys to guys and wasnt sure that our relationship will last or not. So she kept backup.

I feel for every problem she has lot of excuses.
But for last 7 months she has been super loyal to me and shown signs for love.

I do love her alot but dont know what to do at this time.

I was nice to her. Bought her presents, date nights. And i feel because of all that she got attached.

I jusr don’t understand how can i ever be special to her. And how can i ever trust this woman. I feel there is nothing left for me from her physical perspective.

Is it possible for her to ever love me?

Buddy, the problem isn't the people she hooked up with before the relationship, it's what happens during the relationship, and keeping a backup sounds like a red flag to me 🚩

Wife wants to meet ex-bf

We're married for 10 years now and my wife wants to go to her high school reunion where her ex-boyfriend will be. I told her she shouldn't go, and she says that I have trust issues and that she's not planning to do anything. I don't understand why she wants to go see her ex-boyfriend from high school. Is this something that people are cool about?

Maybe... She just wants to go to her high school reunion? Sadly, no TC mentioned - we need both his and the ex-bf's to make an informed decision, of course 🙃

Been with gf for 5 years, how to ask for open relationship?

I've been with my girlfriend for 5 years, and I love her to death. But lately, I've been feeling bored. I'm not sure if it's because we've been together for so long, or if it's something else. But I've been thinking about asking her if she would be open to an open relationship. I know this is a big ask, and I'm not sure how she's going to react. I know this is a lot to ask, but I'm hoping someone out there can give me some advice on how to tell my girlfriend about this, I don't want to lose her, but I also don't want to stay in a relationship that's making me unhappy.

Notable comments:

Like this: "I think we should break up ❤️😭"

This isn't reddit, wrong app

Tc? This is actually an important factor here. If your portfolio is sub 5m dont even think about asking unless youre ok with the relationship ending

Wife cant break into tech and that depresses me

I am coaching my wife to getting into tech. She cant seem to find a job after bootcamp in this market. Meanwhile other dudes whose TC are much less than me are doing much better financially because their household income is more than mine. I work way too much and its unsustainable . I dont blame my wife but I am depressed

The only difference is their wives started bootcamp earlier and 2021 companies were hiring any one that has a pulse, we missed the boat

It almost seems like whether you succeed financially in Bay Area solely depends on you have double tech incomes. Might need to get out of this place.

TC 540k

PS: a lot of you are fixated on the 540k. i already said I cant keep this work up, will try to get something with less stress and less pay soon

(For reference: yes, the Bay Area is expensive, but people do manage to live here quite comfortably with even half that income.)

This one isn't funny, but I feel it's a sentiment that is reflected in quite a lot of people. Individual contributors are more productive than ever, meaning we're juggling more tasks and have more responsibilities in work than generations past. The human brain wasn't meant to handle this level of constant multitasking stress, and some people handle it better than others.

Godspeed, anonymous Blinder. Hope you find your way through that hole to the other side.

Can't anymore

It’s endless. The harder you work, the more responsibilities you get. I hate taking ownership of things. There’s too much learning to do. Too many problems to solve which increase in scope and take a toll on your mental health. The brain should not be working this hard, all the time. I don’t love SWE, but SWE loves me; the money has me hooked. How can I possibly take a 150% paycut? Plus, I have no other employable skills. Every morning I wake up and open my laptop and see the queue of messages and emails, I feel stressed and trapped.

I want happiness but I also want to continue buying things and going on vacations without looking at the price tag. I don’t budget; the money is just there, always, and there’s lots of it. Not enough to retire though.

I’ve tried taking a break - didn’t make a difference. It’s not burnout, it’s a hate with SWE and tech industry as a whole.

I always thought of starting my own company though. It might be a stupid idea given my stance on work, but I still feel like that’s the solution.

I'm 32 and still don't understand women

Can someone actually legit tell me how to treat women if my goal is to be respected and not have a sexless marriage? No trolling please, I’m being dead serious.

I’m 5’8, nice body, good face, but very unsuccessful with women long term. I’ve had some short term one night stands (10-15) and one relationship for 1.5 years all of it was through online dating apps, which are purely superficial and I truly have no social skills with women. All of my “success” has been completely superficial based and I’m completely fcked if I want a normal marriage.

I’m seeking advice with how to actually treat women. I was at the casino talking to this girl at the roulette table and then her fiancé showed up and was a complete asshat to her but she got closer to him and seemed like she liked being treated like a dumbass. On the other hand maybe she wanted me to hit on her. It got awkward when her fiancé showed up at the table. I assume fiancé since I saw the ring on her right hand.

I’m starting to think it’s entirely dependent on the woman. Like women who sleep around a lot, very promiscuous and don’t have a lot of money tend to like guys treating them like shit. Women who have no self esteem and think they can’t do better. Women who would cheat. Idk

Can someone explain it to me like you’re my father and I’m 10 just learning about girls for the first time. I’m being dead serious. Assume I’m on the spectrum and have no idea what I’m doing. Shape my mind like I’m a kid

Thanks

Notable comments (combo of useful and yikes):

Please watch videos on "dating red pill", "fresh and fit" Youtube channel to understand what is the current dating landscape and how it has changed in the last 20 years. As you are shorter than an average man, you've your work cut out for you. Better to educate yourself to understand what is the landscape is like, where you stand, what current women your age are looking for, etc.

Stop asking over and over your best bet is google and YouTube. No one should help you possibly breed. If you can’t figure out basic relationship dynamics at 32, then your genes should be removed from the pool and you should agree. No one is coming. Help yourself or be happy alone with yourself.

There are many women in their 30s looking for a great partner. I feel like in my 20s it was more single men, now it’s more single women. No time like the present to find a great wife.

So what works? Be authentic. Be you. Pursue your interests. Most of all, when you meet someone be very upfront about what you want. Kids? Career? House? Hobbies?

Also, avoid casinos and bars or places where the vibe is more casual hookups. Take a painting class or a yoga class. Go to the gym! Go skiing. Hiking. That kind of thing

Girlfriend took great offense to me buying her cat ears

She thinks it's a disorder and called me crazy

I (25) bought my girlfriend (32) some cat ears because I thought it would be fun for her to be a cat girl but she got very angry

For context I am white and she is from south Asia

Am I AH?
200k

But thankfully, he has an eye-popping TC to make up for it...

spent $25k on OF, adult content and escorts last year

I don't know how to overcome this but I'm addicted to adult content. I looked at my yearly expenses and I spent $25k last year on only fans, cam shows, adult content and escorts and on track to do that again this year. What can I do to get help?
TC: $600k

Notable comment:

Osho says do a lot of something until you're bored of it. Have a habit you wanna kick like smoking... smoke 20 cigarettes a day until you can't stand the smell of it anymore. And it makes you vomit. Same goes for sex. Get it all out of your system. Do an escort marathon until you are tired of them. Then focus that energy on Something else. had a similar problem. The excess testosterone is best used in exercise.

The rest of the comments range from "genuinely helpful" to "misogynistic", of course.

TC went down.l am screwed

TC went down from 500k to 250k next year due to 4y cliff and amazon changes in comp. Single income family with 2kids living in San Jose. Promo unlikely to happen next year. Should I leave. I havent done leetcode in many years.

This comes from a Blinder who works for Zillow:

Traditional wife vs modern wife

What are the pros and cons of each? Would love a traditional woman to raise my children, cook, and clean. Would also love double income big shot high roller career woman, travel, wild sex, etc that comes from a more liberal woman so in conclusion what are the pros and cons of a traditional wife vs a modern wife and where are the best places to meet each type

Notable comments:

If you want a live in housekeeper/nanny, hire one. We quit doing the slavery long ago

Go Mormon and have both

If you fart in front of your partner is it actually worth apologizing to them?

I know it's awkward and gross from a child-like perspective, but do we constantly have to apologize for farting?

The poll currently stands at 80% No to 20% Yes. Godspeed, gassy Blinders.