I'm fearing I won't develop into adult either. Not in the way that I could be satisfied
I could do so many stuff, I had absolutely nothing to do but I chose to do the most boring, most ordinary stuff, which does not help me in the slightest
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joined 1 year ago
more prestige, more money, more external validation etc.
anything that sounds cool enough from outside. or anything that I can point at as "look, i spent x years here and here is how i spent my time with"
eg. founding a startup as a highscholer is a good example. or doing some serious research
They had resources, usually from high school, or yes their family led them a bit as well. But the thing is I could have the same resources as well, if I didn't sleep around while choosing my high school. Or even then, I could just go ask around, I'd definitely get something if I woke up and asked everyone around "I want to invent something". Ask on internet literally. I didn't.
It's not "media" in the conventional sense. I just casually asked someone from a good high school what do best students look like.
Your life hasn’t even started yet. Just enjoy your life, your journey. Once you are old enough, you gonna miss this time.
I'm really sure of that. I'm realizing how much youth affects people's life later on directly or indirectly and it just makes me more anxious about my decisions. I'm definitely doing many mistakes that my 30 year old will remember with grief.
If I look at my past I kind of did the worst decisions I could. And I could perfectly avoid bad decisions. I just didn't, in combination of several factors and my ignorance.
I don't like how I spent my time myself. I could do better
I honestly didn't really enjoy my past years. It's not like I was partying in the time I'd be doing new projects.
That number is definitely not anywhere near 10 or 15. And I'm not comparing myself to "average" because I was never average. Median income globally is 12k$ per year, and half of the people are earn lower than that. I only compare myself with people from similar background as me, and I see numerous examples they just did better choices with their time and opportunities.
Your example kind of assumes every option is created equal. It definitely isn't.
I get a much better analysis of what I have done in my past as time passes. I realize I missed so many objectively good paths. I wish I could see what I'm currently doing in retrospect from future. Like, my future self comes and give me advice
Nobody expects anything of that sort from me. I want it myself. I see people from similar backgrounds who has went through a different path than I chose (which was, usually, not based on reason or thought) and achieve great things. I just don't want to miss more opportunities anymore and it's incredibly hard to make sure you're on the right path.
I'm trying to do some stuff and have been semi-successful. But it's not the same as people starting earlier
Psst you are 17. You can’t even legally waste your life on alcohol or drugs yet in Canada. Maybe you are/were messing around and causing trouble. You can still get out of it at this stage.
I wasn't really causing trouble to people around me, but I definitely caused trouble for myself. Either by lack of awareness or by laziness or mental problems. I just didn't do anything for myself. I think I don't miss anything that has happened in the past a lot, I just did regular stuff that was just enough to keep me afloat
I know almost everyone has a parent or relativ tell a kid to be the next Galileo, Mozart, Bill Gates, Elon Musk, or invent the next thingymajig. But it’s more about what you desire to do, what you desire to be.
No one tells me that. In fact, everyone around me usually tells me "I'm proud of you" "I wish I was you" or stuff like that mostly for some good stuff I did in the last year
I'm just not content with myself. I want more, and seeing people that have more makes me feel bad so I also want that
I hinted in the post I was 17
What I achieved doesn't satisfy me (nor my actions), and I want to change that
I'm not history-level obsessed on fame/glory/prestige (yet, lol) but I just want to prove myself or get validation etc. tbh
I just don't feel like I'm on the right track for the life I want.
Besides, you don't know how many people out there are looking at you right now and going, "damn, wish I was OP, having the maturity to question their place in the universe at only xx years old!"
And I'm saying the same for 14 year olds 😭 They're so mature and have some understanding of the life lmao, something I definitely didn't have. I was so dumb at the time.
I stopped accusing those people to be privileged. Some are, but there are many people from backgrounds similar to me, if not even worse. I met them. They aren't special. They just act with their minds and make some good decisions. I could perfectly be in a position similar to them if I made the right decisions.