pirat

There once was a Jack for the headphones

But Samsung would crackle the dead bones

Flagships, before shipping,

in shits they were dipping

Hence, now they're the lords of the shit thrones...

I like my internet like i like my coffee.

Filtered – yet full of unnecessary cookies and shit...

Remember to turn off their sunlight too!

And while we're at it, let's cut the wind off at their property as well, so they can't generate any local wind power!

And definitely take away their fruits and zinc and copper, so they can't build their own massive multi-lemon batteries, which they will otherwise rapidly upscale by growing even more lemons, using the same array of lemon-powered LEDs that also grew that weed, all in an infinite loop of lemon kush! We really can't let that happen.

Or they received a USB cable, which they later used to transfer pirated files, in an envelope... Remove their mailbox! (Or force every postal service person to ignore it...)

Don't lay all your eggs in one basket!

Could very well be an eSIM ...

by plugging in a HDD I can only record a channel if I'm watching it and not record one channel while watching another

That actually makes sense if we're talking DVB-[C, S or T] channels received through an internal hardware tuner. A tuner can only tune in on one frequency at once. To record one channel while watching another, it would need to have two internal tuners, which isn't very common and, I'd say, not something to expect unless specifically advertised.

Also it has developed a fault where it basically shits its self every couple of weeks and the picture pixelates. It needs to be unplugged for a week and plugged back in.

Warranty?

I had a similar experience, and didn't realize it until I read your comment here. Thanks for sharing!

"Es ist aber smarter mit so einem Indikator!"

There once was a man who went mad

When YouTube kept forcing an ad

They kept crossing his border,

So he bought this camcorder

Now he's looping his own tape of a cat.

EDIT: Had not seen your edit before i posted this. Though both sources agree on the protected word, mine does not mention Suriname in any way. It sounds like a good theory, but could also be coincidental that the same word was chosen, couldn't it?

--

Apparently, I stand (a bit) corrected. According to this dutch source, the dutch word for butter (boter) could only be used for products containing real (dairy) butter.

Here's a machine-translated and quickly edited (to make sense) version:

In 1948, the first jar of peanut butter was marketed in the Netherlands, but it was not allowed to be called peanut butter. Butter was a name that was specifically registered for real butter. So only butter was allowed to be called butter. Other types of butter were called margarine. And so, another name had to be thought of.

[...] Pinderkaas was compared to leverkaas ("liver cheese"). That is also a sandwich spread that does not contain any cheese at all, but does have cheese (kaas) in its name.

Pindakaas literally translates to peanut cheese. IIRC someone trademark protected the word meaning peanut butter, thereby forcing everyone else to call it kaas (cheese) instead?!