Reason for my depression : Life sucks and I knew it, from my childhood.
I feel better: When I am too busy to think about it. For now, work and family occupies my time mostly. I smile ( = cry ) when I see same depression pattern for my kid.
Imo, you should actively change your situation ( see a doc, have a hobby etc... more importantly, find positive in even small things )
Can you share model details. Also, possible to use while driving/swimming.
Think twice before lending money.
tldr, track record
People are different. Even if 10000% perfect matches, there will be issues in between. Just give sometime.
Multiple solutions are there, like counselling. Understanding each other plays a big role. If you are parents, you gotta hell of responsibilities and less time for arguments.
Thank you for this lengthy reply ! Yes, I do have social anxiety. I do try to break it many times but inherently it is there. Without a very good reason, I will keep it in the comfort zone ( lazyness + anxiety , I guess ).
I may need a set of friends who are not judgemental.
Yes, I do small talk.
Sometimes I want to continue that relation. But, most times 1. I dont remember their face or parts of the talk 2. I just dont actively think about continuing ( Its like I have to put a remainder on that talk - quite dumb ? ) 3. They might be disinterested in the next time ( partly, I believe of silly way of expressing things )
Thanks, that consistency is what I am missing . I used to write notes. But what-if-others-see-my-silly-notes feeling also there.
Yeah, most people are. Some have the luxury of not thinking of it or have lower self expectations.
Edit : Listening to rattle my cage :)
Ok. Any online courses or videos you recommend
Oh... Thanks, mate. Let me check it.
Something like counting sheep - but in reverse.
I usually wander in external thoughts for .5 or 1 sec and come back to the last number. Then, sleep somewhere between 50-30