kristina

hmmm... it was so long ago that i thought like that. i think i felt like i was too masculine to pass, and asked myself what the point of transitioning was if i didnt. this obviously was very untrue. i feel after being transitioned for 10+ years now, most binary trans people pass as cis after a long bout of hrt. of course passing is not the end all be all, though it does make life a bit easier in more transphobic areas.

i also had some bizarre ideas about how i needed to change my personality to be more feminine in order to be truly trans. also very silly, im just me but now everyone sees me as a woman, i didnt need to change anything about how i acted

yeah np 👍

Everybody’s working hard to get this place modded more efficiently. This community is only about two months old so we’re still trying to figure things out. Most of the stuff that I’ve had to remove on here requires more investigation than your typical auto mod can catch, although we do have an auto blacklist flagging system. I do want to ensure that this is a safe place for trans people to express themselves.

Yeah my advice would be to just regularly ask if anyone wants to mod, imo. Makes the community more active as a whole because more people get more invested.

I’m glad that hexbear has been able to help people out with mutual aid. I passionately believe in the concept of mutual aid. We recently had someone who very well could have ended up homeless and in danger but the community pulled together to get them financial help and a place to stay.

Yeah I saw that. Was gonna reply myself but looked like the situation was handled. A lot of people really get the concept of mutual aid wrong, some people think its just charity. But no, helping out homeless people means they can also help others in turn. I hooked one of the homeless trans folks I met up with a commune that needed a cook, the people there had missing arms and stuff but had an extra room. So the homeless trans person learned how to cook and everything is going peachy and cute!

I love talking to people all the time so one of the side benefits is I sometimes know people with extra rooms that can help out like this.

Not sure how the modlog works here. Sometimes on hexbear if someone began to post identifying info we don't remove the post, but purge the user entirely from the database so no information is shared in the modlog. Maybe @[email protected] did similar

Yeah theres a handful of other associated threads related to this topic too. Technically Tomboyshulk referencing chasers in that post was referring to the DM harassment of trans women.

https://hexbear.net/post/1592846

https://hexbear.net/post/373222

There was a refed post where the second one came up. They made a refed post due to a new lemmy feature coming out

Grain of salt: the Hexbear admins fail to mention any “DM harassment of trans women” (from 196 or blahaj) in their defederation announcement, which seems like a huge detail to leave out if you’re defederating over alleged transphobia.

Most defederation announcements don't usually assign a cause, a user usually requests it in a thread and then the admins bring it to a vote if it gets enough attention. I personally voted to stay with blahaj but with the addendum that we ban all regular 196 posters and mods. If you search around you can see a handful of people posting personal experiences with harassment from 196 here. Its been a long time but I recall getting sexually harassed as well, though that user did eventually get banned here much later.

Out of the hundred or so very active trans commenters, only 5 voted to stay federated with blahaj, me included. Though some trans people were very hurt by this, so ultimately I was fine with defed, I voted to stay federated mostly for trans unity reasons.

At the risk of an argument, I don't think its entitled to want an extremely secure place that catches transphobia almost instantly. Trans people imo deserve a place that is theirs. A lot of people in the trans community are very suicidal and deal with a lot of pain and isolation IRL, having a community to go to where they don't have to interact with transphobic bullshit, concern trolling, etc. is a good way to make these people feel more connected and find ways to build support (cheers intro begins playing). There's a lot of ways to make sure this happens, for instance, good mod tools, bots catching bad behavior, an aggressively supportive userbase, and massive mod teams.

Also, Hexbear isn't just an instance, we regularly do mutual aid. I've personally helped 3 homeless trans people get housing via hexbear. And of course I really hope blahaj can do similar too. Its always great to have a backup if something implodes, and its even better if its not a corporate controlled community.

yeah feel that. i do just one and its annoying enough

yeah i block it on this account too. far too jarring and it clogs out all the cool lgbt stuff.

im also very serious about my offer to add any trans people here as a mod on c/traa btw. hit me up if you want it 🤣

we even have a super secret evil group chat

as a mod of c/traa on hexbear, yeah if it were me id love to just to link all the trans comms together. having them all split just increases workload and burnout on trans mods of all instances dealing with transphobia and spreads out the trans community too much. this is why we have 23 mods on c/traa, to spread out the annoyance and remove bad content before any vulnerable people see it. we usually remove bad stuff within 5 minutes, no matter the timezone. its also more democratic, less cliquey, and we regularly ask people to mod with no requirement other than being trans/adjacent. in fact, if you asked to mod on c/traa id add you in a heartbeat

there were also some significant issues with dm harassment from 196 users towards trans women, and we're extremely overprotective of our vulnerable users so we're much more likely to pull the plug on federation than other instances if even a few infractions have happened without people being banned/posts removed from that instance.

if it was possible to federate with only the trans communities here, i feel like everyone would agree with it.

i feel like half the people would be angry they were being asked