itsgoodtobeawake

Of course it's her money, it's not for me to decide what she does ultimately. That being said it's not where I want my relationship to be if she can't trust me with a number. I want to be generous and not have to check myself and keep my cards close to my chest if I receive a windfall at some point. The sad part is she is the first person who would know if I were in her shoes. It's already leading me to a lot of uncomfortable questions, you're absolutely correct.

which level of communication do you mean exactly?

It would be putting my hands in her pocket if we had an open conversation about the bills that we can afford jointly? I'm talking at most about adjusting household bills closer to 50/50 - if she is sitting on 10x-20x the amount of money I have ever had in my life then that doesn't seem unreasonable. If the money isn't all that significant then I'm not asking for any change in the status quo. Your approach is a fair one though, thank you. (edited to be more realistic with the numbers above)

I appreciate this reply, thank you, it's pretty accurate. I can even see it but in the moment it is hard to not get reactive around these hot button issues.

I don't think she intends to be malicious, but I don't know how to categorize this as not deceptive. Her standards for the transparency she demands of me is quite high, so it doesn't feel reciprocal at all.

You have hit the nail on the head as far as describing the whole identity crisis that happens as a stay at home mom. She was far more independent, we lived in another city where we had more support from friends, and in general there have been a plethora of stressful life challenges that we have faced along the way. Mental health has been a big challenge for sure.

This isn't lost on me, I just don't always know a skillful way to address it in the moment.

It's a good suggestion but I don't think it will be interpreted well at the moment. Likely would come off as "I want us to talk to a planner about how to spend your money". I'm certainly open to the idea, I guess I have no idea what a financial planner actually charges when you sit down with them. If she isn't honest with me face to face I'm not sure how it would be much different with another person in the room.

We are not officially married, but I certainly agree it's insane to not have transparency in a committed relationship. What's the point of being together if they can't even trust me with information?

Is your google broken? Here is the quote - "Look, I view myself as a bridge, not as anything else,” Biden said at a rally in Detroit, one of his last pre-lockdown campaign appearances of the 2020 Democratic primaries. It was early March, and he was flanked by Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer and a pair of his former rivals, Kamala Harris and Cory Booker—all members of what Biden would call “an entire generation of leaders” and “the future of this country.”

Are you responding to a different post? Go back and look again.

The check engine light for American Democracy is blinking red. Smoke is pouring from the engine compartment, we have two flat tires and the driver is telling the scared children in the back seat "Don't worry, I don't need to pull over for anything, everything is fine up here, we can make another 3,000 miles easily"

No more free passes for Biden on these flubs. It's not a minor "misspeak" when Zelensky is called Putin and your own vp is called Trump... It's unacceptable to be this incoherent as the most powerful leader in the world. This is not fine, and if he stays in we will see worse before the election. Obviously there is no world where he is fit to be president 4 years from now.

I hear ya and I guess Im doing the same.... But jesus fucking christ is it hard to imagine voting for that walking corpse after the debate. I'm wondering if it's somehow in the playbook that Democrats secretly want to lose. If we're not in a cult of personality it should be a no brainer to replace the candidate.

Imagine all you want, in reality he shouldn't have final say regarding anyone's prosecution.... Its sort of a cornerstone of this supposed democracy experiment thingy that we're doing.