I think that all of the comments here telling you things like "it's just hair, get over it" etc are bullshit. It may be true for people other than you in other situations but if that were the case then you wouldn't have posted here in the first place. It's obviously an issue that requires more than "oh come on its no big deal". It's very hard if not impossible for people to change who/what they are attracted to and you should not be shamed or belittled for being attracted to long hair.
Having said that, I do think that couple's therapy would be a good idea to help you guys get everything out on the table so that you can sort through this together. People change over their lifetimes both physically and mentally, and it can be challenging sometimes to understand and accept those changes.
Wishing the best to both of you.
Ive never seen any credible evidence of an actual transfer of funds to Stein from Russia, but there is definitely evidence that they support her in order to siphon votes from the Democratic candidate. U.S. elections affect the entire world and it is no surprise that enemies of the U.S. are going to use every resource they can to alter the results in their favor.
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/national-security/russians-launched-pro-jill-stein-social-media-blitz-help-trump-n951166
https://www.intelligence.senate.gov/sites/default/files/documents/Report_Volume2.pdf