ZenGrammy

The mod team and I have been working hard at making this a space where everyone feels heard and supported. It's difficult to make sure we are allowing people to talk freely about whatever they need to talk about, but not ending up with a time-sensitive crisis that we as volunteers don't have the tools to manage properly. We will definitely rethink that rule and ways to re-word it. We are always open to talking about the rules and what needs to change to make people feel comfortable posting here.

I agree with what the other posters have said, especially about the fact that it seems you may be depressed, and also I see the same patterns I displayed when I was depressed and didn't want to deal with it. "I know I need to get help but first I'll take care of my spouse's problem, and also my son needs to get through his thing, and also a friend has seemed down so I should check on them. I'll look into therapy someday but right now I'm too busy." It made it impossible for me to deal with my own issues and also not my fault, but really that was kind of a lie I told myself in hindsight.

When I stopped putting it off and started journaling about what it is that makes me feel bad pre-therapy, I found that it was well past time I start taking care of myself. Once I did, I was so much stronger. Post-therapy and healthy methods of dealing with anxiety and depressive thoughts me is still able to be there for my friends and family but also able to be there for myself.

I really think the first step is sitting down with your thoughts about yourself and your life, making sense of what is going on, and coming up with a plan for how to move forward.

As an adult who has raised children and worked in doctors' offices, yes, this is a good idea. If there is any way for you to get help in your state without your parents knowing about it, your doctor will know the steps. If your parents usually stay in the exam room with you, ask the office to make sure you get alone time with the doctor during your visit. You don't have to tell them why. They will help you.

I'm so glad you tried it! Now you can take that skill with you on all your walks going forward.

I'm sorry you're feeling like you can't express your pain with your family and your only safe place now feels violated and unsafe. I have said the same thing because I disagree with the way a lot of my fellow Americans treat people who are different in any way and I'm ashamed. You should be allowed to vent such things in some sort of private space. You've come to the right place to put those thoughts down on the computer screen and let strangers empathize and vent with you.

I hope you're able to get real help in the form of therapy and/or medication, or even just someone in your life who is willing to stand up with you and for you, really soon. In the meantime, you can come here and talk with us whenever you need to. It also may help to start writing in a journal, so you can say anything you need to say and either keep it or get rid of it as you see fit. Once it's on the paper, a lot of the stress you felt is removed from your body.

I feel the same. I can see why other people would buy it, but I'm not on a contract so I need the price on the foldables to come down to a reasonable point before I would bite. The upside to that is that while I'm waiting for it to happen, they are also working out the kinks and I can make an informed decision on which model is worth the money I'll have to pay for it.

I'm not sure what the benefits would be there, either. The small form factor may be nice for people who have to carry it in their pocket, but I'm not sure if it would be worth it for me personally. It seems cell phones are always either trending ever larger or smaller, and this particular lineup sort of covers both angles.

I'm loving the advice in this post so far - definitely speak to people already in your life about this if you can and seek out therapy and medication to help with your anxiety. While you are working on that, as a fellow social anxiety sufferer I can say that I used meetup.com to find a local group that was small and did the thing that I was interested in. I knew it was going to be hard but if I could force myself to meet new people at work I could do it for myself once in a while to better my life. For me, it was hiking, and I watched the posts from the group for a bit before joining to make sure it seemed friendly and welcoming to new people. It was a great decision and I made an actual friend there, along with going on many adventures with the group on the weekends.

I was also single at the time and too awkward to go to bars. It wasn't my scene and I didn't like it, and I couldn't figure out how to find a partner without it so I had to bite the bullet and try online dating. You'll be surprised at how easy it is to find potential partners who are also introverted and want to stay at home every night with you. Again, you have to actually force yourself to meet people but once you've talked online for a bit and know enough about them to set up a safe meeting, it's less daunting because at least you're excited about the possibilities of a romance. I met my husband on a website and we've been together since 2015. We allow each other space to do our own thing and also come together for dinner and a tv show most evenings. We work together to protect our "introvert bubble" from outsiders and make sure we're saving our energy for the people we love. It's really beautiful and we both had to put ourselves out there on a dating profile in order to make it happen.

Maybe your family could help cheer you on in trying out new social things like this, and your sister could be more of an ally than a threat. I think your feelings about her are coming more from a place of you feeling bad about yourself and assuming what she must think of you, and it's likely not even true.

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It can be whatever you need it to be if it is soothing to you. If you let those worries come and acknowledge them instead of trying to hold them back, you care for yourself in the way you need to be cared for. Just keep breathing in an even way and examine the worry. Is it something that needs to be taken care of or no? Make note of it as a "for later me" thing and return to focusing on your breath and the task.

It took me a while to decide to respond to your post because I lost my father in 2017, a month before my 40th birthday, and a family friend's child 2 weeks later. That time of my life was really a blur of raw grief and anxiety.

This time in your life is going to be so full of it that you feel like you can't focus on anything else and it's okay to feel lost. Grief comes in waves. At first, they are so big that every time they hit they knock you down and they hit you multiple times a day, but you have to hold on to the fact that over time, those waves will come less often and be less fierce. Every once in a while you'll get one that is a doozy but it will happen less and less often. The strength of your grief is directly proportionate to the strength of your love for them.

You've been getting great advice in this thread and you've already got meds and a therapist which is great. I also suggest journaling and meditation like some of the other posters did. I personally found the teachings of Buddhism and Thich Nhat Hanh helpful, too. There is a podcast called "The Way Out Is In" which is run by a student of his and you can listen to for free. They have guided meditations at the end of each episode. Even if you're not into becoming a Buddhist, listening to someone very calmly and rationally talk about how they know your pain and then guide you through sending your good thoughts out to your loved ones is so soothing to the soul. You can search out episodes that are specific to situations you may benefit from. The lesson in breathing in and out and sending out your thoughts to them is one you can hold on to.

Thank you! I have been trying for years to stay on the path to mindfulness, but only recently has it really clicked that even when life is difficult or busy, it's not a chore-it's a relief to go back to my practice.