Verto

I was not sexually abused as a child, although I had some early near-sexual experiences (around 7yo) with peers. But I don't know what to make of it. Generally, I think I was just born this way.

Thank you for understanding!

At first, there was a lot of frustration involved in this for me, but currently I'm simply mentally incapable of crossing the line. I just get instant aversion on the thought of making this a reality - similar, in some ways, to violent thoughts someone normal might have. (you might imagine yourself killing someone that made you super angry, but you're not gonna actually do this, are you?)

As per being angry at the world, I certainly get that sometimes. Having such attractions, even when you have "normal" ones too, is certainly living on hard mode. But then, there are many others with their own issues and their own struggles we know nothing about. Plenty of people were treated poorly by the merciless reality.

In my case, I am not out, since it adds a lot of risks for me, and I'm generally careful on who I'm out to - there's always a chance a person can use that against me, or just freak out and out me knowing I'm attracted to children.

But I do sometimes babysit children, and I'm considered to be an excellent person to trust children to among friends and family - someone who will entertain kids, properly care about them, follow all the requests parents may have. Children love and trust me too - I pay a lot of attention to their needs and always listen up on anything that's on their mind; I also mediated several conflicts between kids and parents, and earned a reputation of a person who can solve things in a way that makes both sides happy. At the end of the day, both parents and kids see me as a close and trusted friend.

Sure thing - protecting children is the highest priority.

And currently, protecting children and helping us combat stigma go hand in hand. At the very least, in a part where we could open up about our issues without fear and get professional help if needed.

I, too, like the veganism analogy. As per "brain wired wrong" - previously I would refer to my situation just the same way, but when you live with it long enough, it becomes normal, and the curiosity sparks not on "why am I like this", but rather "why others are different". Regular people find children cute, beautiful, lovely. But then, when it comes to actually feeling something for them, people just don't. This always made me feel weird. But yes, your case is the norm, and ours is exception - probably for the better :)

Done!

Ah. Well, as I said, merely abusing a child doesn't constitute an attraction, you're right on that. There is plenty of non-pedophilic child abusers (in fact, those constitute about half of all cases for sexual abuse of minors), just as there's plenty of pedophiles who never touched a child.

Constituting an attraction is therefore a separate task involving complicated equipment and testing methods.

Thanks for the link! I was gonna add it later, as VirPed answers limited amount of questions. But it's an invaluable resource allowing to see one question from the perspectives of different pedophiles and minor attracted people.

It absolutely should!

We absolutely need more therapy programs for minor-attracted people, more of the competent therapists, less social stigma (and please, stop calling child molesters pedophiles and child abuse pedophilia, that's not helpful and not true!), and probably softer reporting laws, too.

For example, reporting past offences may bring more harm than good, scaring off those who want to change. Similar with the consumption of CSAM - it is bad, but reporting it leads to people not being able to talk about it directly, which hurts prevention efforts, exacerbating the issue. Etc.

Possessing or producing loli/shota or other fictional materials - no punishment

Possessing CSAM generated by other people with no intention of redistribution = police warning, then administrative arrest, then ~2 years in prison

Posessing CSAM generated by other people with the intention of redistribution = 4+ years in prison

Possessing CSAM generated by the person with no intention of redistribution = all charges related to child molestation +4 or more years in prison

Possessing CSAM generated by the person with the intention of redistribution = all charges related to child molestation +8 or more years in prison

Something along these lines

I'm honestly impressed by the latter too, but I guess that's the magic of Lemmy. I knew one person who tried to spin the conversation on Reddit, and it didn't go so well.

I know pedophilia is something many people think exists somewhere in the dark, but that's more the reason to put it out in the light, as meaningful conversations on the topic are crucial - not only for the acceptance of many of those who did nothing wrong, but also for the safety of children, as stigma around the issue is one of the reasons many of us can't get help that would be very handy, especially for those (still) on the verge.

I appreciate any feedback, including your one. Hit me up with any questions later should you come up with any!

I'm honestly not super informed on Epstein drama, but if I recall correctly, he hosted minors in the age range of 15+ or something, which would constitute ephebophilia in case age is big part of it. Some people abuse children not because they are primarily attracted to them, but because they are just physically easier to abuse - however, given the power and influence many of those visitors have, I doubt they're deprived of adults willing to do it all to them, so probably that is their preference and they are ephebophiles.

I don't really force myself to abstain from urges; as a teen, I visualized the outcome and consequences (including outing) and realized if I'll ever do that I'll probably lose any future contact with children I know and trust of their parents (even if I won't go to jail due to being minor myself at the time). Currently, I don't have to "abstain from urges", I just feel it super inappropriate on an emotional level, like an immediate emotional aversion countering emotional passion.

I'm lucky to be highly attracted to adult partners. In an ideal world, I would have both, but yeah, one side of it leads to suffering and trauma, so I'm left in heartache on that front (but enjoying the other, adult side of things). Many pedophiles and generally minor-attracted people are not so lucky.

For AI CSAM I think, when properly controlled and reasonably walled from minors (some will find it anyway, but it should be matter of determination rather than stumbling upon it), as well as when meaningfully different from real imagery (so that you couldn't confuse the two), it could actually be very good and positive, preventing many from going for a real CSAM. I envision it can prevent a lot of suffering related to child exploitation, and it will be a positive development for pedophiles and minor-attracted people in general, too.

Out of books that featured children, probably The Book Thief. It's a very powerful and emotional book as it is, but for a person who low-key fell in love with Liesel and got adored by Rudy, this has hit me hard. I generally recommend it as a very worthy read. As per what everyone may wonder - Lolita - it didn't impress me nearly as much, especially by trying to make the reader feel compassionate to a sick man who sees little problem in what he does, even when it crosses the line of abuse even by adult standards. It does capture some of the features of attractive young girls well, though.