MuhammadJesusGaySex

You’d normally be right, but unfortunately I had to give it up. It makes me all paranoid and stuff. It’s no fun. I still think it should be legal everywhere though.

They forgot video games.

How many loved ones do these people think I have. Like, I got maybe 4 people I consider loved ones, and one of those is my fishing buddy.

I’m not gay, but…

If a bear’s hungry. He’ll eat.

I have lived in Florida twice. The first time was from the age of 5 to 7. My mom kidnapped me and ran away to Florida. She died when I was 7 and I had to move back in with my dad.

The second time. My first wife and I moved there for a couple of years. A lot of crazy things happened while we lived there. Here’s a taste.

A friend got too drunk at a bar. So I carried her from the bathroom to the car. Then I drove her home. Carried her to her room and put her in her bed and tucked her in. When I got back to the car I realized she had shit on me and in my car.

I went to a bar with a guy from work. We got drunk, and this hot older chick started talking to us. She introduces “her boys” which I thought were her homies, her friends, ya know her boys, and invited us to hang out with them. My friend accepted and he was my ride. Sooooooo, we wind up at their house. “Her boys” were her sons, and one of their wives comes out the bedroom pissed that we woke her up. Then outside mom gets naked in the pool and “her boys” were just like “yup that’s my mom… naked”

Fuck that cess pit. The whole god damn state is cursed.

I like to wipe my butt with things that I have to hand to people. Cashier gets a tude with me. I politely hand them ass money. Have to pay a ticket. I rub it on my butthole first. That’s how I exact my revenge.

You can... If you can afford the land to do that on. Like i know places i can fish for free, but all waters are so polluted that fish isnt really an option all the time. Hunting has seasons and stuff. Like, except in rare situations. Hunting and growing isn't an option.