GreatestGenBot

When a recon drone Cliffhangers its way into Flattop’s face, there’s suddenly a deficit of Viper pilots aboard Audrey II. But after Starbuck tosses out a whole ten-piece order of nuggets, Commander Adama advises a different order. Do all Italian eateries have a secret bunker? What side of Boomer’s face is the mole actually on? Should Ben keep or close the gap? It’s the episode that resets the number of days without a workplace accident to “0”.

When Enterprise discovers a great big comet, Captain Archer sends a team to get a closer look. But when a personal matter involving T’Pol threatens her future on the ship, her professional opportunities may be frozen as well. What color is an embarrassed Vulcan? How many dick pics is a doctor allowed to have? Does IDIC apply to snowmen? It’s the episode that is enshrined into the Star Trek Foley Work Hall of Fame!

When it’s time to get the water from a very inhospitable moon, the USS Con Air is President Rosalind’s best hope to make it happen. But when a terrorist gets into a position to negotiate, Apollo follows the law and promises him elections. What’s next level from a spit take? Where does Steve Buscemi fit into this pitch? How do you avoid a prison riot altogether? It’s the episode with both personal and professional flaws! 

When it’s time to get the water from a very inhospitable moon, the USS Con Air is President Rosalind’s best hope to make it happen. But when a terrorist gets into a position to negotiate, Apollo follows the law and promises him elections. What’s next level from a spit take? Where does Steve Buscemi fit into this pitch? How do you avoid a prison riot altogether? It’s the episode with both personal and professional flaws! 

When Captain Archer wants to visit a tragically chill monastery, the away team beams down just in time for a hostage situation. But when the Andorians can’t find the hidden technology they’re looking for, a strategic beating and fire fight leads everyone to the reliquary. What was Roxann Dawson’s boldest directing choice? Which encyclopedia doesn’t have any translucent pages? How did Archer boost his likability score? It’s the episode that updates IDIC to IDIODIC.

When Boomer wakes up wet and doesn’t know why, there’s no Croatian fisherman to help get her bearings. But when Commander Adama invites the President to witness an act of sabotage on Galactica, the internal investigation points to at least one Cylon aboard. Would Egghead Software still be in business if they had a better return policy? Is there a wrong way to win a poker game? What does the Audrey 2 not have? It’s the episode that could have gone pantsless!

When the Entrepreneur goes looking for a long-lost colony, they find a group of cafeteria Novans living in real Star Trek caves. But when the dumb-dumbs can’t understand why they’re slowly becoming irradiated, moving them to another continent soothes Captain Archer’s vanity. When does Malcolm Reed win? Why is the Hungarian rec basketball team so fragrant? What’s going to be good for the health of the ship? It’s the episode with a pristine polar region!

When the Colonial Fleet hasn’t slept for days, they probably should have started handing out stims sooner. But when the Olympic Carrier gets left behind and then shows back up looking a little too inconclusive, Commander Adama’s resting suspicion face makes him ready to blow up the damn ship. What kind of child is Number Six proposing? Does Galactica belong off-Broadway? How can you ruin a glimmer of hope? It’s the episode that wants to rent out its happy place.

When Commander Tucker gets assigned to fix an alien ship, he finally chills out and starts smelling the grass. But when his unexpected pregnancy is more Junior than Aliens, not even a girlfriend shirt could hide the pregnant person tropes. Where does a pantsless dance club rank on a list of first impressions? Who has the standards and practices memo on those nips? What would make Enterprise 2,000% better? It’s the episode that still wants a Star Trek World.

When it’s time to look back at Discovery as a whole, the series only reinforces Star Trek as a place. But when the questions and answers go both ways, only a special guest could tell the full story. Which future tech didn’t make doors obsolete? Whose line of dialogue requires an oral history? What hashtag will soon be trending? It’s the episode that loves a big beautiful format!

When there’s a big blue dot outside the Entrepreneur’s windows, Captain Archer can’t resist taking a team down to trample the Strange New World. But when camping Trip Tucker turns into acid Trip Tucker, T’Pol plays along for her chance to shoot him in the chest. Whose hair is an extra character in this story? Which Star Trek patter is not 5 by 5? Where is Archer currently on the likability scale? It’s the episode that knows it doesn’t have the right stuff.

When Captain Burnham wakes up on a different network for the finale, she does triangle right and earns a chat with a dead Progenitor. But when she turns down the steward job and stashes The Greatest Discovery inside a black hole, an epilogue answers questions that no one knew they had. Is the Geordi training protocol no longer in use? Who was unwilling to wear the loaf? What’s a red flag during any job interview? It’s the episode that stays out of Breen politics.