Garbanzo

I can walk into any donut shop and I already know what I want. If you can't do that I suspect you're some kind of foreign agent who isn't familiar with what you might find in a donut shop.

BTW, it's apple fritters, and I'll have three, thanks.

JD: I saw some dudes on TikTok that were showing off amazing advances in toupee technology

Barber: I got you fam

You guys still get commercials?

There's not enough room for the addresses of all the citizens of Tulsa

They'd love to do that, they really would, but they can't go much lower and still have you pay the mortgage and upkeep for them

So you're telling me that you can just press a few buttons and learn how to make a bomb? How are your landlords and bosses still alive?

I didn't realize you could even run for GOP lesbian

🎶The best part of waking up, is taking a massive dump🎶

Absolutely, some of them are the staunchest Zionists

They wouldn't want to make more money because that would mean they'd have to pay a higher tax rate. Don't try to explain how tax brackets actually work because you'll just make them angry for highlighting their ignorance.

I'd like to see a cookie notice that just says "it's your browser, figure out how to get it to handle cookies however you want. If you accept cookies we're gonna use them and you can safely assume we'll use them for anything and everything they might be useful for. European regulators can eat a bag of dicks."

lol 🏴‍☠️