DrCatface

had a really good meeting last night, all the old timers come talk to me after with some encouragment, then i get home, beaming with good vibes and i finally beat this elden ring boss id been stuck on for months, impale this messmer the impaler, see u next playthough bucko

hell yeah

im damn near unstoppable when it comes to drugs and alcohol... send my buddy a msg saying I'm going to drink whatevers left, take a few days worth of pills (9) and crash for 48 and she called the ambulance quick math, 2700mg of clonadine and 135mg of zopiclone, and they didn't even pump my stomach they could just tell im a beast, so sort of a waste of time and resources but it sure was nice having benzos for breakfast

edit to add i slept 30hrs and feel fantastic,

today is my first day sober. in the emergency room waiting to see mental health team, i dont remember anything but i drank a slab and took 2weeks worth of meds cause i was frustrated about many awful sleeps in a row, waking up in a puddle of sweat after 3hrs and i wont even get into the retraumatising nightmare. v hopeful these guys give me the all clear, spent so much time in hospitals since 21.

my shoes and socks were in a separate bag and i went to put my socks on they were covered in bindies so they must have had to chase me through a field. shrug. big dip in progress but im ready for another go.

lots of love for my girl z, thanks for the "ihaventcheckedinin3days"messsage, love it here LOVE THIS SUB

sorry team, im on a bender headed to hospy, i wish you all the best in your sobriety and i cant wait to join you all again, i love checking in its usually the brightest part of my day

hell yeah 🤘

kindling is real, jittery and restless thinking about drinking. the plan is to take my guitar outside a shopping ctr, hopefully make $7.50 for a longneck and repeat until i cant play, hopefully i smoke too much weed beforehand and get stagefright. still under a week

i havent checked in in forever, sry team, day 5 doing it tough

i was just driving, driving can be a huge trigger, thinkin ill have to grab some NA beers, they didnt have any and i was praying my card declined on the real stuff but it went through. wont happen again, no money.

sorry gang i blew it, had 42 days up and saw an opportunity and snapped, nearly at 24hrs