I wouldn't take it personally, to be honest. A lot of these downvotes are from people on other instances who just downvote furry stuff as a matter of policy, everything here gets one or two downvotes. The things that stay downvoted tend to be those that are on unpopular communities where people just don't see them.
And yeah, it does suck and feel bad.
I guess I keep posting these kinds of things, in various names and places, in the hope of finding that one "nugget of hope". That one piece of information that can prove to me that maybe everything isn't so bad. That the mental prison I trap myself in isn't real. That... Doesn't seem likely with this, and I really don't know how to handle it.
I need hope, I need coping mechanisms, I need something to stop these unhealthy behaviours. Hell at this point I'll take hugs or hedpats.
And yes, I do see professional help and I think it works. But at the same time... I do feel like I'm living "paycheck to paycheck" with appointments.
I truly do appreciate the people here who help out and be friendly and give me a nice safe space, so thank you.