Ask Gay Men

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A community to ask questions specifically for gay men. Everyone is allowed here.

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This is going to sound like "what's your type" but let me explain. (lemmynsfw.com)

submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/askgaymen

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First off, most of us don't have one "type",I think, for example I have never been able to look at a guy and say he is hot because and name one attribute that made that true. To add to that I have had people "get sexy" that that I swore I would never want to date/hookup with because of conversation, talent, and all kinds of crazy shit.

Now with all that out of the way, not "what's your type" but what are some dating standards that you hold onto more or less rigidly?

I will start with a little reluctance, I was, and still am to a much lesser extent a heavy man, but I don't find myself compatible with other heavy people, bulky, bearish, or a little fluffy. I felt I was being hypocritical and that was part of the reason I am working hard to get into shape.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Even for hooking up, I look for educated professional guys. I usually chat a bit on whatever app before agreeing to meet and if you're a "wyd wya" type it's probably not a match. Even a one night stand is better with some connection. Though recently (see my recent comments) I've had more random hookups that have worked out, too.

Physically, I generally go for my otter boys. Messy hair, maybe scruffy, no long beards. I need a handsome face and a good body to really get my engine revving. I've reached a point where if your face is not good, I'm not gonna fuck you, and probably won't even stay hard with you, anyway. That just means I have to like your face, you don't have to be a model. I like intense eyes.

Smooth muscle guys are good, too.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I was guessing you would show up with the honestly, I am always curious. I get so self conscious, and feel like, because I was much heavier, and still need some muscle I am just, breaking some unwritten law. Like having a preference is somehow bad.

It is always easier to look to internet strangers for approval as a stop gap while you are working on yourself lol 😂.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

🙂 I'm not really my own type, but I've learned that I'm the type of other guys, and some of those guys are my type, too.

Even if you're heavier, there are going to be lean muscley guys that are into you! So who cares? If you want to lean out and build muscle, do it for yourself. Whatever you are right now, there are guys out there with whom you'll have mutual attraction.