Asklemmy

Yes, as much as you disagree with it (and we do too), you're not changing it on a brief visit to the US and you'll just screw over the person serving you. Remember, those tips help pay their wages because they make far less than minimum wage and that's how they're expected to make up the difference.

no it's not required but I can afford to tip so I do and that makes me better than people who don't ;)

You don't technically have too by law but if you decide not too... you should know the server will likely be irate to the point of secretly wishing you dead. I highly recommend leaving a tip or just don't eat out. Order the food for take out and just pick it up at the counter, but do not expect someone to be super happy that they just served you for basically nothing.

Only tip if it makes sense. I'm from the US, and I've also noticed that tipping culture is getting out of hand The only times you really want to tip is when you interact with people in sectors that rely on tips just to make at least minimum wage. In food service, this mostly means restaurants that have a server come to you and take your order. For other "café" type establishments where you go up to a counter and order that way, where a busser brings your food out to you, I would not tip because there isn't another human monitoring your experience and ensuring you have a good time. This latter case includes fast food, actual cafés, etc.

So, if you go to places where you actually have a server, tip. Else, don't bother.

You need to tip places where you sit down to eat with waiters, yes. ~20% of the subtotal before tax. Don't be intimidated by those little tablets asking for a tip for places where there is no table service, there is usually a no tip button. Just relax and don't hit a button right away. They make it a little smaller.

So will AITA if I don’t tip? Is it really my personal responsibility to make sure my server is paid enough?

ABSOLUTELY NOT Don't let anybody tell you otherwise. It is and should be employers job to pay their workers a living wage in a rich country not the buyers.

Culturally, there will be people who will look down on or say nasty things to you if they find out you do not/did not tip. This happened to me. Some of the nasty comments (these are not said by the employees) people say are "The employees will remember this and may spit in your food or tamper with it in some way next time you order, which has got to be illegal for health code reasons for employees to do and is guilt tripping on the person who says this comment. Not only that, but those who say such awful things are continuing the nasty treatment of employees by the ruling class by saying such nasty remarks.