this post was submitted on 21 Oct 2023
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The Monkey's Paw

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Want to make a wish? Just ask the Monkey’s Paw! No strings attached.*

Just create a post that starts with “I wish ___”. Other users will then grant you the wish, and probably not how you intended.

^(*)^ ^Strings^ ^definitely^ ^attached.^ ^Satisfaction^ ^not^ ^guaranteed.^ ^Wish^ ^will^ ^likely^ ^backfire.^

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Originally posted by @[email protected].

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago

Granted. Every time you snap your fingers, $1000 is removed from your bank account and given to some random person on the planet.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Granted. It comes in the form of a mass of pennies, weighing about 550lbs or 250kg and is dropped on them. Your role as an extra in West Side Story causes a massacre.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

To add to this, the pennies are moldy and gunky. It's not USD currency but a strange mix of groshcys, Groschen, lira, yen, Franken, even 900 year old Skrupel from all over Europe...

[–] sramder 5 points 11 months ago

Granted. Unfortunately it comes out of your bank account and Citybank just increased your "overdraft insurance limit" to 1 million dollars.

[–] gredo 4 points 11 months ago

Granted, but everyone else loses 100$

[–] tdawg 3 points 11 months ago

Granted. It can never be you

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Granted. You get $1k poorer and it’s only given to people who have way too much already.