this post was submitted on 21 Oct 2023
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The Monkey's Paw

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Want to make a wish? Just ask the Monkey’s Paw! No strings attached.*

Just create a post that starts with “I wish ___”. Other users will then grant you the wish, and probably not how you intended.

^(*)^ ^Strings^ ^definitely^ ^attached.^ ^Satisfaction^ ^not^ ^guaranteed.^ ^Wish^ ^will^ ^likely^ ^backfire.^

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Originally posted by @[email protected].

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[–] sramder 3 points 11 months ago

Granted. From now on, you will be the tallest person in every room, but you will have to duck to get through most doorways. 

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Granted, but it always comes off as arrogance

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Granted. You are now totally confident ... and totally incompetent. Enjoy your new career as a consultant or politician.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Granted, all your online usernames change from petertheprettygood to peterthegreat.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

[@[email protected]]

Granted, you are very confident, but that’s only because of your poor memory - your life continues to be a consistent string of repeated failure