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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/adoptee_throwaway890 on 2023-06-26 22:23:26+00:00.
I [26F] recently bought a house with help from my parents. On my own, I had saved up enough for a 30% down payment and was getting ready to look into buying a house with a mortgage (I’m starting a PhD program and will need stable housing for the next 5-7 years). When I told them this, my parents very generously offered to help me buy the house in cash.
My parents are very well off and I acknowledge that I’ve had a very privileged up bringing, but I still try to not draw attention to this so people won’t treat me differently, and I live pretty frugally. At first I denied the offer because I feel bad taking money from my parents. Up until now they’ve only paid for my car and my education (through a college fund).
They refused to let me refuse and said that they’d rather help me buy the house in cash than have me pay more than what it’s worth in interest. They also didn’t want me to have to worry about affording a mortgage payment on a PhD student’s income. Instead, I will be paying my dad back in fixed monthly payments. The house that I decided on is a very modest size and price, and was even $100k under the budget my parents were willing to help me with.
Fast forward to last week, I finally closed and started moving in. I invited some of my close friends over for a housewarming get together.
When they got there, one of my friends [27F] asked me how I was able to afford such a “nice” house. I was upfront with her and told her that my parents very generously helped me with it. I didn’t go into detail.
She then started pressing me pretty hard for more information about my mortgage payments and interest rates, talking about how they’re ridiculously high and it was stupid of me to buy in this economy. I’ll admit that I got annoyed at her continuing to press about this in front of everyone at what was supposed to be a fun, laid back event, so I told her that they helped me buy it in cash and that I’d rather not talk about it anymore.
She then goes off on me about how I’m the reason people like her can’t buy a house right now and that it was unfair of me to take the opportunity to get the house away from someone who “needed it more” by putting in a cash offer. She even went on to insult my parents and my adoption and told me that the only reason I have this life is because my rich parents “bought” me from overseas.
That last comment was the breaking point for me and I kicked her out of the party. Half of my friends are on my side and the other half said I was too harsh on her and that I should’ve just lied. I’m starting to think I should’ve just lied too, but I also didn’t want to act like I bought the house all on my own, because I didn’t.
So, am I the asshole here?
Edit for clarity: I did tell her that I was paying my dad back but that went over her head. In hindsight I could’ve told her that I put down 30% of my own money, but in the heat of the moment I didn’t think of it and I don’t know if that would’ve helped much. She’s made off handed comments about stuff like my career and education before but never publicly or this extreme.