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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Old-Boysenberry-5631 on 2023-06-24 12:44:38+00:00.
This is a throwaway. I saw the other post about hiring cleaning help so it got me thinking about my situation. I need your honest opinion
my husband (m51) and I (f39) have a good life together. We both work. I’m a business owner so my work schedule depends on my workloa. Some periods I work 7 days a week. Some periods 2. My husband has a 9-5 job. We have a joint accounts for our expenses and we put around 30% of our salaries there.
we are great at dividing chores so both do their part. now I’m in a period when I need to work 12-14 hours a day and I can’t do my part. I asked my husband if we could hire cleaning help instead but he absolutely refused. I said fine if I pay myself then? He said okay, just not him or from our joint accounts.
Now I have help for my part of the chores. My husband wants me to help him with his part. I said no since I’m still doing my part by payin. He thinks it is unfair because I am technically not doing the chores myself. He says that I’m using the fact that i make more money than him so I’m controlling him. But it is not true plus he makes good money too. None of us is struggling exactly
sorry one edit: he said he is more than happy cleanin his part so i said fine i will hire someone to do my part. He thinks now it is unfair that I don’t clean AT ALL