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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/decordilemma on 2023-06-21 06:52:54+00:00.
I’ve (M32) been with my girlfriend (F29) for over a year now. She’s smart, funny, a bit quirky, and has a serious job with a good salary. We have a great time together and generally get along very well. The only thing is her choice in home ‘decor’ is bizarre, to put it frankly, and not something you think a normal, grown adult would be into.
Her apartment is definitely a reflection of herself and interests. Not in the best way though.
My girlfriend has wall dedicated to animation in one room of her apartment, like Futurama pieces and etchings of some weird triangle guy. Then there’s the wall of framed preserved insects in another room. But not insects like butterflies or moths. Instead she displays tarantulas, beetles, and large stick insects. Her bathroom has a subtle theme of the ocean-pretty common. But instead of starfish or shells, she has a little anglerfish nightlight, a small vampiric squid painting, and then a framed diagram of what apparently is a Goblin Shark right by the toilet.
I would say a majority of her home decor and furnishings are okay. The apartment itself is very modern and sleek. It’s just the random decor and juvenile-ish themes like cartoons, insects, and bizarre ocean creatures, is off putting.
This is where I might be the AH. I avoid bringing people over to her place, especially people from my job, because of how juvenile it looks. Everyone’s impressed when they see the high rise, but that quickly fades once you enter. The one time I brought a work colleague over they ended up telling me after that they found her insect wall terrifying. I work in finance and appearances and first impressions are important.
My office will hold casual gatherings where we get together for a few drinks, good food, and we rotate hosts. And this time, it’s my turn. The problem is my place is under some construction and not an ideal place to be right now, so I’ve been staying with my girlfriend. My girlfriend suggested that we host my colleagues here since she has the space and thinks it’ll be fun. I told her I planned on skipping my rotation and seeing if the next person would be okay with hosting early. She kept pressing on why I didn’t want them over here, so I finally said it’s because her home decor is strange and not something a grown woman would have, and also that her insect wall horrified the one colleague that did come over.
My girlfriend got mad and said at the end of the day, it’s not my space and these things bring her joy. She also said that she is indeed an adult woman, which is exactly why her apartment is decorated in such a manner.
I love my girlfriend, I do. And it’s okay to have different interests. But does an adult really need to decorate with them besides a few things here and there? I mean, my own mother asked if my girlfriend was autistic after she saw the entire apartment for the first time.
So Reddit, AITA for telling my girlfriend her home decor is the reason I won’t host a work gathering at her place?