Bipolar Disorder

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ickplant

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Rapid cycling as hellllll (self.bipolardisorder)

submitted 1 year ago by PepeSilvia to c/bipolardisorder

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Just need to let this out. I have been rapid cycling for a few months now, which is odd for me as in my younger days my mood episodes would last 4-8ish months and now we are looking at a week or two.

In the past few months, I feel like I have done lasting damage to my relationship and maybe my SO. I dumped all my trauma at the very beginning so now they are extra careful with me. I am super codependent so when I even suspect they're feeling negatively about anything, I grill them on it because I just want to fix it but I think maybe they're hiding their feelings now because I am breakable. I've shifted into some hyper sexuality which would be great but once we get started I ruin it somehow by doing a complete 180 and saying weird shit or checking out entirely.

Every single version of myself wants to treat them well. I could totally understand if they got whiplash from how often I pivot.

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[–] ickplant 2 points 1 year ago

That sounds hellish, I'm so sorry you're going through it. Sometimes I don't know how our partners put up with us - I know I put my husband through a lot with bipolar. I really hope you can repair any damage done, it's so hard when you are still rapid cycling.

[–] miked 2 points 1 year ago

That sucks.