ADHD Women

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DAE want to just throw out all the stuff? (sopuli.xyz)

submitted 2 years ago by [email protected] to c/adhdwomen

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...but at the same time want to hold on to useless stuff or hobby stuff you don't have the energy to do. I feel like if I didn't have so much stuff I wouldn't have all the clutter to make me feel anxious, like there's just so much stuff. I have a very small wardrobe (well, boxes of clothes since I haven't had the energy to go an buy a wardrobe) with mainly work related clothes, but that's the only thing that I've managed to keep minimal and tidy.

I know the clutter is mainly stuff I could try and keep in trays/open boxes to help maintain it but also going shopping for the right kind of trays seems overwhelming.

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[–] NanoTriffid 5 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

Keeping clothes under control is a big deal imo. Clothes have so many pain and pleasure points that is easy to hold onto our pasts and pretend futures through them.

Clothes plus creativity are my bane. 'One day I'll wear that elegant dress I just need to add a new zip." I've had to limit myself by keeping a project box. If it doesn't fit I need to swop something out or chuck the project away.

Basically Dana K White's container method (https://youtu.be/_24PoIZSmVs) has been my saving grace. I'm now looking for ways to create zones based on function and then limit my 'inventory'. It's a numbers game for me. Less inventory means I function better in my space. And functioning feels so good when it happens well.

Sounds to me like you found a way to function better around work clothes and better is good. Definitely worth a high five in my book !

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

You've seen right through me with this comment. So many clothes I feel awkward in and yet I know I'll need them when I'll struggle to do the laundry. And some clothes I feel like I could improve by removing that ruffle of the neckline or shortening the hemline.

And of course the sewing machine needs adjusting so one doesn't simply start sewing...

Occasionally I admit defeat and have to throw out projects that just aren't getting finished. And tell myself not to even start some, just give it away to someone who might like it as it is, and I think being able to control that impulse and admit my shortcomings is something.

Less inventory definitely makes life easier, sharing a house or a flat meant I could only have my projects in one room, now they're sprawling a bit again. I think I need to take my partner's annoyance to heart and limit my project space to one corner.

[–] NanoTriffid 2 points 2 years ago

It's a common creative person dynamic I think. Not so much a shortcoming as unharnessed talent. I definitely get more projects done these days because I struggle to make decisions and less projects means simpler decisions. (My brain isn't as sharp as it used to be so I need to help it any way I can haha).

(Also I totally didn't spend a whole weekend googling amazing huge craft cupboards that would never fit in my house).

[–] juniper 3 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

omg I feel this so hard! It's like I declutter at least once a month and it's never enough. I always feel so overwhelmed and claustrophobic and I don't even have that much stuff. It actually makes me feel really on edge and I sometimes even get snappy with my partner because I feel like everything is in such a mess even though realistically it's not. I just like everything to be as tidy as possible. Visual clutter makes me feel so stressed! At this point I'm on a journey towards minimalism but living in a country with such a changeable climate means needing different clothes. So then I need to think about how to store them and swap them out multiple times a year and it's just like...No. I don't have the energy.

It all got too much for me after I moved house and I ended up donating almost all of my hobby / craft items and pretty much half of my clothes. Sometimes I want to get rid of everything but you know...we do need some stuff to function.

I really relate to your post! Something I found helpful was these clutter bug categories. I am very much a Ladybug when I'm low on mental energy, no matter how much I want to be a Cricket. I just shove everything out of sight so that it's surface level tidy, even though when you open a drawer its a total mess lol.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 years ago

Agreed on visual clutter being so stressful! I feel like I cleared out so much junk in the last move and have moved quite frequently but somehow there's always more stuff around. My poor partner likes to have a lot of clothes and I don't want to go and throw out his suits and vests even though he doesn't wear them (with the pandemic and all), but now they're in a box in the corner of the living room and hung up in the bedroom and I can see them every time I go by! And I know there's a cheap second hand warehouse store nearby so I could get all kinds of storage but it feels like a whole mountain to climb.

I feel called out by the clutter bug Bee description. I have organised chaos on top of every available table top, I know where everything is but my partner has no idea where anything is (I mean he loses things on his desk as well and I know what's in his desk drawers). I can keep drawers vaguely tidy but hate these old deep drawers that make stuff pile on top of stuff rather than having their own place, so anything that doesn't fit goes on top of a desk.

It was actually easy when we got a puppy and everything had to be out of reach, but she's learn not to grab anything so I don't even have that as a motivator.