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Short on time before work so I'll be somewhat brief:
have you tried journaling? That's what i do. Just pen and paper or use logseq/obsidian/ whatever note app on your phone. Can't be deleted like your social accounts or whatever. Helps me collect my thoughts and process stuff.
Shits rough and I'm sorry you're going through all of that. Hope you find something or somewhere that works for you
I think a lot of it comes down to finding a little space with specific like-minded people. There's the whole "dark forest internet" theory that talks more about it and what some of the solutions can be.
Mastodon seems to do a better job of this. Specifically because you have to sort of put some effort into building up a little network and finding people you like interacting with, the quality of the interaction is a lot higher. There aren't these handy megaphones laying around where any given person can broadcast to everybody at any time, which then means that you have to have stressed and hassled moderators keeping up a steady stream of people which they are kicking out or muting, because they did something ostensibly bad.
Content moderation on Mastodon is its own whole issue, but I think the core principle is, develop solid connections instead of just random interactions with random people and it will be much better.
Something something if it smells like shit wherever you go something something