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I'm afraid my mother is a kind narcissist (reddthat.com)

submitted 3 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

4 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Any time I get hurt/angry/let down by her, she "didn't know what to do."

"I want to help you, really, I just don't know how your mind works. I don't know what will make you angry. I don't know what you need in the moment."

I wind up with a whiteboard in her living room like Bernie before congress showing her what she did, why it's wrong, what to do next time.. and I'm just tired. I always have to put in the work to get treated right.

Everyone tells me to leave, but I don't want her to have nothing.

Sorry for venting. I'm just asking to be heard, right now.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

No idea if this is in any way what you need right now. But i really love TheraminTrees videos about behavioral disorders like narcissism. Especially Part 1 and Part 2 about his experience with a cluster B (which narcissism falls into) parent.

This channel has given me many interesting insights into my life and the life of people around me.

Obligatory "dont take psychology advice from the internet at face value" and consider talking to a therapist if you feel like your relationship to your mother is significantly fucking up your current and/or future life.

You are not responsible for your parents happiness.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago

I'll take a look at TheraminTrees

thank you

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago

I lived this cycle for 7 years. Eventually I just stopped tiptoeing around the eggshells and did whatever the fuck I wanted then ignored her when she blew up. Then she tried to become an alcoholic and blame it on me. When that didnt work she finally found some other poor bastard work on.

I will be happily single for the rest of my life. Also fun fact: child support for two kids is cheaper than supporting her retail therapy habits.

[–] FlashZordon 1 points 3 weeks ago

My MIL is almost the same way with my wife and myself.

Stay strong. Hopefully you find a resolution sooner than later.